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I can’t stop thinking about this giant bucket of candy.
Hey I just ate a salted chocolate chip cookie, how great are those things?
Holy bat shit this is a nightmare
Fosters, Australian for death
I’m too drunk for punctuation though
I drank four Manhattans at lunch and I still wouldn’t take a selfie at a funeral
Here in LA I had to shut the windows last night and put on socks. What is “snow”?
This is not a title but rather a story about something that happened to me. I play coed softball on Sundays and yesterday our opponents were all graduates of my alma mater, just ELEVEN years after I graduated. So I was trying to talk to them about our school and how it was different back in my day, and after several minutes one stupid girl asked where I went to school because she thought I was just making random conversation. My point is, if these kids graduated then the final exams need to be harder.
You can get away with just about anything at a CVS.
I have a Die Hard bomb to drop on you before you all watch it this weekend because I can’t wait for Thursday. The subtitle commentary insists that Hans Gruber is the protagonist because he advances the plot while John McClane is the hero but he is reacting, not starting things. I really look forward to finally having an outlet to discuss Die Hard next week.
Just last weekend I watched Die Hard with the subtitle commentary so I have so many cool inside facts to share with you guys! I can’t wait! Hint: look for triangles in the set design and camera movements. Also, the director placed Willis on the left third of the screen a lot to show that he did not have power because first act of the movie is about John McClane looking for help and reacting instead of attacking. Also I recently read the source novel, Nothing Lasts Forever by Roderick Thorp and it’s awesome. Guys, I’ve been training for this all year.
I don’t get it, why did he wait until the wedding day to do his elaborate public proposal?
He sounds awesome! Tell him I live by the beach! I’ll give him back before Christmas!
I think my TV should count as a significant other because we spend so much time together.
They get the money for every dependent for which they can prove healthcare coverage… hey, any chance I can borrow Facetacquito???
I was so happy after two Pearl Jam shows this weekend, then my company suddenly cut healthcare coverage from 100% to 80% and announced they’ll be taking 20% from our paychecks to pay for the rest. Meanwhile everyone in my company (EVERYONE ELSE BUT ME) is getting at least an extra $2,000 per year per dependent — including people who just live with their boyfriends or girlfriends, even if the significant others get healthcare from their own jobs. So I am the only person in the company being hurt by this change, and it’s only because I live alone. Any monster lawyers out there? Or is this actually legal and I’m just fucked?
Or steal, one would be happy to steal them as well.
Where can one buy a panda and a tire swing? Answer urgently needed, thanks in advance.
All the captions on her Instagram page are better than anything I could come up with. Fuck you, Obamacare.
My company just cut healthcare coverage for single people and doubled or tripled it for people who are married/have kids. So now my married coworkers are earning an extra $3,000/year over me. I am officially a victim of Obamacare.
I just drank four glasses of sangria at a convention then came back to the office and watched that video about the awesome kids supporting Danny. This day is a real roller coaster.
I hope the parents of all those kids gave them ice cream for dinner. Awesome kids.
I miss it too, such a great show. I follow Cappie and Evan on Twitter and they’re both pretty good at Vine, so that takes away some of the sting.
Ugh, worry about yourself lady. She must need more work to do.
It was basically a heart with a light bulb inside, I’m sure your imagination can take it from there.