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Marcela
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 -4Posted on Dec 21st, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Four Christmases (114 comments)

I’m getting R&R because I’m a high school teacher and exams finished Friday and I’m EXHAUSTED. I’m also prepping for my friend to come into town. But thanks for the assumption and for dragging all this crap out again.

Son of Gabe, thanks for looking out for me!

 +9Posted on Dec 21st, 2010 | re: Books Aren't Toys, Books Are Poop (159 comments)

Then again, when I was three I got a plastic cash register (no electronic ones back then), a chair shaped like Big Bird, and…books. So what do I know?

 +27Posted on Dec 21st, 2010 | re: Books Aren't Toys, Books Are Poop (159 comments)

Yikes. My parents would have informed me of the time if I had said anything other than “Thank you” upon receipt of a present.

 +6Posted on Dec 21st, 2010 | re: Merry Christmas From Spike Can Dance (38 comments)

Best Supporting Actor: that cute little dog.

 +2Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Four Christmases (114 comments)

You know what you did.

 +19Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Four Christmases (114 comments)

“We all have headaches already without having to listen to your headache. And you know what, when you start to actually talk about it, your mom sounds fun and nice and like she really loves you, SO CAN IT.”

I am really glad to see that I’m not the only person that feels that way about people badmouthing their families. Especially because they’re always like, “Ugh, my mom always wants to talk to me about Fox News!” and some people have to be like, “Well, my mom can’t talk to me about anything because she’s dead/in jail/went out for cigarettes and never came back, and my only Christmas wish is to be able to see her sitting across the table from me on Christmas day, even if she was reading aloud from Steve Winwood’s script, ‘Abortions and the Abortions Who Abort Them’.” So yeah, it sucks when you don’t see eye-to-eye with your family, and some people have miserable parents, but perspective is helpful. Dad beats you up=sucks. Mom wants to take you to the mall and buy you some pants=tolerable.

 +12Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: My Email Exchange With The Weather Channel (45 comments)

And then there’s always The Learning Channel’s “Christmas Birth Defects”….

 +11Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: My Email Exchange With The Weather Channel (45 comments)

Of course, the History Channel will be running “A Very Hitler and Bomb Christmas”, so tough choice.

 +15Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: My Email Exchange With The Weather Channel (45 comments)

I’ll be watching CSPAN’s “House for the Holidays: Live! From the House of Representatives”. I recommend you check it out–but make sure to have a box of Kleenex nearby! It gets me every time.

 +4Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: Hey, You Should Write A Screenplay For Bruce Willis Today (46 comments)

You’re up for Best *Adapted* Screenplay anyway, so no sweat. See you in LA!

 +19Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: Hey, You Should Write A Screenplay For Bruce Willis Today (46 comments)

You laugh now, but you’ll be so sorry when I win an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for “Bruce Willis: The Movie” produced by and starring Bruce Willis.

 +29Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: Merry Christmas From Maury Povich (59 comments)

“I like to think about aborting Jesus.”–Teacherman

 +4Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: Merry Christmas From Maury Povich (59 comments)

Proof

 +3Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: Merry Christmas From Maury Povich (59 comments)

High-Gravity’s Rainbow

 +3Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: Merry Christmas From Maury Povich (59 comments)

Look Homeward, FrAngelico

 +10Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: Ugh Aficionado: Gwyneth Paltrow Has A Cookbook Coming Out (48 comments)

Shakespeare in Facetaco

 +17Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: Ugh Aficionado: Gwyneth Paltrow Has A Cookbook Coming Out (48 comments)

I love when actresses pretend that they eat. “What should I make from this cookbook? Air sandwiches or hot water with lemon in it? Decisions, decisions.”