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 -2Posted on Jun 11th, 2010 | re: January Jones Cab Ride Of Shame (28 comments)

You guys! We almost killed Betty Draper!

 +4Posted on Jun 3rd, 2010 | re: Ke$ha And 3OH!3 Doing Everything In Their Power To Ruin Summer (121 comments)

You saw strangles, I saw goatse.

 +10Posted on Jun 3rd, 2010 | re: Gwyenth Paltrow Makes Her Tacos Just Like The Rest Of Us (46 comments)

Rick Bayless is so scared for his job right now?

Also, why is she only cooking 6 shrimps for 4 people? Celebrities! Just like us! Can’t afford shrimps!

 +13Posted on Jun 3rd, 2010 | re: Heaven Just Got A Little More Rue McClanahan (66 comments)

I’m really confused right now. I am both terribly sad, and have an enormous lady boner.

 +4Posted on Jun 2nd, 2010 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Ugandan Conference On Homosexuality (74 comments)

Parliament Unites Against Sodomy: P-U AS(s)

 +1Posted on May 28th, 2010 | re: FACT: Space Jam Was Based On Myan Prophecy (35 comments)

Fact: I totally worked at the library where the Popol Vuh lives (and also am friends with the guy who wrote that article – the one Gabe linked to, not the one about the Space Jam thing!)

Anyways, this is the cover of the Popol Vuh:

So now who’s laughing!

It’s a little weird that my Vgum existence has gotten so close to my actual existence.

 +8Posted on May 28th, 2010 | re: Hitler And All The Nazis Were All Homos, Says Some Fucking Asshole (82 comments)

To be fair, this guy has a picture of gay Hitler in his wallet.

 +4Posted on May 28th, 2010 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (142 comments)

Damn you Bret Michaels! Heaven couldn’t take you, so they took Gary Coleman!

 +9Posted on May 27th, 2010 | re: Which Handbag From Sex and the City 2 Are You? (93 comments)

I’m really sick of people asking me what kind of bag I am.

 +7Posted on May 26th, 2010 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Criminal Minds Finale Fan (37 comments)

To be seriousgum for a moment, it is a bit annoying that they never seem to break in during commercial breaks. I’m not saying in this case in particular. I’m just saying in general, regularly schedule broadcasts can be cut into for breaking news, but the people better be sold some romantic Sybaris vacations, dammit! I mean, I know why this happens, but it’s friggin’ annoying that we live in a world where this happens. Maybe this brave woman can change this for all us disenfranchised primetime watchers!

 +8Posted on May 26th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't You Caption It? Contest: 'Gum Bowl Edition (111 comments)

“Is this the button for the email?”

 0Posted on May 25th, 2010 | re: Lost S06E18: Series Finale. R.I.P. (388 comments)

You’re right. I guess the answer is, as it always is on Lost: MAGIC.

 +5Posted on May 25th, 2010 | re: Gabe And Max Present An Exclusive New Song From Elvis Perkins In Dearland (27 comments)

The ironic thing is, I had technical difficulties while watching this video. I’m definitely sure I used “ironic” correctly.

 +17Posted on May 24th, 2010 | re: Teen Korner: Our Bodies Our Werewolves (78 comments)

Y’all miss emo kids now, don’t you? Don’t you.

 0Posted on May 24th, 2010 | re: Lost S06E18: Series Finale. R.I.P. (388 comments)

OK, but how did Desmond get off the island? Or did he never see Penny until the flash sideways/alternate ghost reality? Sads.

 +3Posted on May 24th, 2010 | re: How Will The Simpsons End? (55 comments)

Stop ruining everything! :P

 +25Posted on May 24th, 2010 | re: How Will The Simpsons End? (55 comments)

I have somewhere to be, so I’m just going to share my Lost comments here. If Nick Madson is around, maybe he can “write” my comments over in the proper thread later?

1. Ben/Hurley spinoff anyone? Let’s do it! Half hour comedy with Scooby Doo hijinx. I WANT TO SEE THIS.

2. Felt very satisfied with the ending, and did my best to not cry when Vincent laid down next to Jack. I’m a big girl! I don’t cry at TV shows! HOWEVER, I’m a bit disappoint that they did not go with the actual science parallel split off reality (or did they? I’m so confused!), and instead went with the “It was all a ghost dream to bring you all together. But not you Walt.”

3. They almost went there. “No man is an island.” Almost! I feel like they did go there and the rewrote it because HA!

4. Also want to see the episode where Richard Alpert meets the real world all Encino Man-ish. (I’m pretending there was no Dharma Initiative because it’s funnier for me to imagine him afraid of flushing toilets.)

5. Also a bit bummed that the happy ending was that they all “found” their soulmates and could go off into the ether or whatever. Sorry, single people! Better luck next island! Except Boone, though. Boone’s soulmate is Boone.

6. Jack’s kung fu moment was pretty cool.

7. Did anyone watch this without ffing through commercials? It was brutal. Seriously.

8. I don’t feel like writing this all the way to 15 or something to make this Lost-y, so I’m done.

 +11Posted on May 19th, 2010 | re: Miranda July ))<>(( (16 comments)

At first I thought you meant Miranda Richardson, and I was like, “Why care?” Then I remembered Miranda July and Back-and-Forth, and I was like, “Oh that’s why care.” But then I got really angry and annoyed at this movie, which is kind of weird and kind of makes sense, because ultimately I’m just really jealous of Miranda July and wish I could get paid for writing weird, poetic, hipstery short stories and/or movies and just basically being strange. Instead, I get shunned by society.

Emo comment is emo.

As a librarian (unemployed), I’m not particularly offended about this video, although I’m usually at least mildly offended by Improv Everywhere. Whatever keeps people thinking about a library is a-ok by me, because it reminds people to use the fucking library and keeps my profession/place of employment (alleged) relevant.

Seriously, though, I need a fucking job. Hire me. Anyone.

 +1Posted on May 17th, 2010 | re: Relax, Dale Peterson (105 comments)

I hope he knows that people from other states entering the state of Alabama are not “illegals busting in.” I’m pretty sure there aren’t other illegals busting in. Because, Alabama.

 0Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Caleb Howe (104 comments)

“I’m not a professional journalist, so I can’t verify whether or not any ice-cold vodka was involved”

I’m pretty sure, however, as an experienced blogger you certainly can tell when ice-cold vodka was involved. Just as I imagine you.

 +3Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Caleb Howe (104 comments)

Yeah, but the hair!

 +18Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: You Can Make It Up: Ian McKellen Is Mistaken For A Wizard (43 comments)

I am not disappoint!

 +26Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: You Can Make It Up: Ian McKellen Is Mistaken For A Wizard (43 comments)

Once I met Patrick Stewart outside of a play, and some obvious young teenage Star Trek geek tried to take his picture, and Patrick Stewart basically tore the kid a new asshole for trying to take his picture during Patrick Stewart’s “off hours.” You could literally see the inner crushing of all the hopes and dreams of meeting his idol on this kid’s face.

I don’t know what this has to do with anything, except that in my head, Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen are basically the same person. I would like to make this comment more relevant to the topic at hand, but I cannot make it so.

 +18Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: You Can Make It Up: Ian McKellen Is Mistaken For A Wizard (43 comments)

Since this is the first Videogum post I have read today, I have no idea the context of this, but I am sincerely hoping this refers to an earlier post, and I am all kinds of pissing myself in anticipation.