I realize now the image of old ladies shitting themselves over red hair sounds neither all that special (because of their oft-uncontrollable bowels) nor of particular appeal (because gross), but unless you’ve had an old lady shit herself because of your red hair you’ll never truly know the thrill.

I guess what I’m trying to say, kiddo, is that life gets SO much better.

Perhaps I’m simply an immature man-child, but Caribbean cuisine is NOT what the term “Jerkbook” most readily conjures in my mind.