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As a survivor of the Miami public school system, I struggle with deciding whether abstinence only would have been a less scarring alternative to having a 70 year old man teaching 15 year old me how to properly apply a condom…
You shut your mouth!
*bad
Too mad things didn’t work out between her and Mike. Hope things are going well for him and his mom.
Kellll loves orange soda…I do I do I do I do-ooh.
I promise I’m not drunk. Just had a small stroke while writing that first sentence.
Made it to 1:28 then came back for the more later once I had forgotten how cheesy it was. Made it to 3:40 the second time. If you make it to 3:20ish, please take note of enthusiastic usage of banana prop from guy in the middle. Also, homegirl second row from the bottom on the right hand side is Dancing. It. Out.
My thoughts exactly. As I was reading it, I couldn’t stop thinking about how juvenile it sounded. Like a bad proposal some high school kid would come up with for their end of the year project in their Gov/Econ class. James Franco: your 5 thousand post graduate degrees in literature and writing have failed you. However, I’m sure your pretentiousness is serving you well at NYU.
I was waiting for it too, but when it never happened I realized that Gabe was talking about the reference that he makes at the end of the post. Because you can’t talk about the Hanks dynasty without at least mentioning the Haze.
This is actually filmed in Miami, but hooray for Mexico anyway!
Here’s me getting all “women’s studies,” but is it weird that the thing that bothered me the most about this commercial wasn’t the clearly failed attempt at satire, but rather the “message” that the campaign is centered around? Ladies, even if you have zero chemistry with the strange guy sitting across from you, you better pull out all of the stops to get him to want to have sex with you, and if the BBQ fetish creep proposes, well, you had better say yes. Oh em gee, you’re getting married!
Hugh’s real name is Allan and all he really wants to do is get dressed up and go to the Star Wars convention with us geeks!
On a related note: anyone with a peanut allergy should exercise extreme caution in the coming days.
Jess was a turd when he was actually her boyfriend, but he was perfect during that episode (episodes?) where she goes to his book thing but she’s already with Logan (or is she banging married Dean? I forget). Point is, Jess 2.0 is the only acceptable person that Rory could have ended up with. Dean was a stage 5 whiny clinger and Logan was just, ugh. Shut up Ace.
I would upvote this because daddy issues! But, you quoted John Mayer, and you made me hate myself a little for instantly recognizing that line. So let’s call it even.
This is what bothered me most about that entire thing too. Like REALLY, Gwyneth? You’ve never heard the actual line that Christians reference all of the time? Really? Because you’re like 40 and you’re just asking about it now? And you’re asking the people of the internet? Couldn’t bother to do a quick google search so that you could make a more informed argument? Nope. Just wanted to let everyone know that you are against homophobia (which, hooray, but seriously)? Okay, cool. You are the worst.
Incidentally, I tried introducing Problem Child 2 to some kids I babysit this weekend…one of them walked away after a half hour and the other one demanded I switch over to Legally Blondes (yes, that’s plural). I weep for my country.
Also, I didn’t remember that it was PG-13…is that a re-rating or was it always that way?
The Box starring Cameron Diaz and James Marsden.
The worst movie I’ve seen since Dreamcatcher. Cameron Diaz tries to be dramatic and that isn’t even the worst part of the movie! It’s completely mind-boggling and not in an “I’m too dumb to understand complex ideas” kind of way. It’s also half an hour too long (it’s really about 2 and a half hours too long). Most importantly, my mom likes almost every shitty psychological thriller and she hated it. I rest my case.
My awkward Gabe interaction was a two parter:
Part 1 was when I raised his missing laptop bag high above the crowd Rafiki style
Part 2 was when he made a mad dash over to grab it after he got off the stage, gave me a quick and awkward smile and then ran away before I even knew what was happening.
Though I like to think I saved his night because the only thing in that bag was the paperback copy of Waterworld which was the material for his entire 4 (3rd? 5th?) act.
We briefly met Rachel’s 2 dads. They were in the episode where she makes a sexy song with Puck, Finn and Jesse. I believe they’re in the scene where she dies on the driveway. Or at least one of them is…But now I’m not sure if that was the old choir teacher… I’m confused and I don’t care to look it up.
When I was teenager, I loved Isaac Mizrahi. I used to occasionally watch a show that he had on Oxygen because I thought he was so funny. Now that I’m older I think he is one of the biggest pricks I’ve ever seen. So, maybe he’s just had too many 14 year old girls tell him that he’s brilliant, because I really can’t see how any adult can stand him.
And Tim Gunn hates him, which is all the support my argument needs.
She was gonna fly out but she couldn’t ’cause she’s doing some modeling right now
Vinnie’s Pizzeria? Come for the pizza, stay for the vegan doughnuts.
Back when MC and Elijah Wood were the hot numbers on the playground, I was totally team Mac. I remember fighting with my younger cousin when I was about 6, and saying that he deserved to be MY boyfriend instead of hers because I was closer to his age. This was a very serious argument and that was air tight logic to me.
JTT never did anything for me.
I nominate The Box, which my mom was so eager to watch with me on DVR that I obliged her even though I thought Cameron Diaz was going to be a huge problem. I wish I could say that Cameron Diaz was the biggest problem. She was a problem for sure, but not nearly the biggest.
The general premise had some potential but it went to shit pretty quickly. Even my mom hated it and her taste is far from discerning.
I should mention that I’m a girl and was probably the only one in that health class that had never even been to first base. Being too tall and too smart is the best protection against pregnancy in high school.