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 +8Posted on May 25th, 2012 | re: The Only "Call Me Maybe" Parody Ever (52 comments)

there were so many times in college i was like “let’s go to hyvee!” but someone else was like “no hyvee is too expensive, let’s go to walmart instead.” this video really brought me back.

 0Posted on Nov 17th, 2011 | re: The Legal Battle To End Them All: Who Owns "YUUUP!"?!?! (43 comments)

i wish i knew a good lanham act joke.

 +2Posted on Sep 28th, 2011 | re: Fox Bought A Comedy Based On A This American Life Segment (17 comments)

i love this american life for two reasons:
1. the level of emotion in these stories is amazing. probably because it empowers people to tell their own stories and so people’s point of views don’t get filtered. (i mean, did you guys hear “When I Grow Up” from Slow to React. i cried like a baby when i heard that story!)
2. Ira Glass is such a weird little dude. his commentary & interviews always have a little edge to them that i personally find hilarious.
unfortunately, i don’t think the FOX show will include either of these things…

 +5Posted on Jun 29th, 2011 | re: How Is Charlie Sheen Killed Off Of Two And A Half Men? (90 comments)

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as long as ya’ll are throwing things out of the videogum lineup, can you make some sort of policy where you don’t post videos of white people laughing and using the “N-word?” that was pretty disgusting and offensive and if homophobic have no place on this site, then surely racist shouldn’t either.

 +3Posted on May 26th, 2011 | re: Danny Pudi's Cougar Town Cameo (30 comments)

i think subway only hires people who hate everyone & everything on the face of the planet. the one on my college campus was always really busy. i was there once, really late at night, and the line was very long. one of the employees was making fun of all the people in the line. he was really laying into this heavy-set girl a few people behind me. he must have mistaken my staring at him for genuine interest (in fact, i was making sure he didn’t touch my sandwich because he had all these open sores on his hands and face) because he turned to me and said “this girl’s a b—-, you know what i mean?” i didn’t answer, which enraged him and we got into a little but of a argument. (long story short, i told him to go —- himself with a footlong.)

 +1Posted on Apr 22nd, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (131 comments)

my friends & i went to umami burger for the first time the other day & this is totally what i wanted to say to everyone in the room.

 0Posted on Mar 14th, 2011 | re: David Foster Wallace Interview Outtakes (62 comments)

you read Infinite Jest during law school?!?! i read part of it back in college but never finished. now i’m just finishing up my 1L year and i think if i tried to read it now my head would explode.

 +2Posted on Mar 14th, 2011 | re: David Foster Wallace Interview Outtakes (62 comments)

you read Infinite Jest during law school?!?! i read part of it back in college but never finished. now i’m just finishing up my 1L year and i think if i tried to read it now my head would explode.

 +2Posted on Feb 22nd, 2011 | re: The Simpsons Parodies Other Cartoons (36 comments)

i kept waiting for them to do a Miyazaki parody….that along with the reading rainbow shout-out on community last week would have been the ultimate pandering to my nostalgia

 +3Posted on Feb 16th, 2011 | re: Cedar Rapids: A Comedy For Everyone (?) (43 comments)

nothing good has ever happened to me in Cedar Rapids. every summer when we were kids my family would trek across Iowa on our way to Wisconsin for vacation. once we stopped in Cedar Rapids for food. i don’t know if you’ve ever been to the place, but finding a restaurant in Cedar Rapids is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. we ended up at a place called “Gringo’s” and–surprisingly–the waitress was a real low class racist. she said something rude & we all got into a giant screaming match. it ended with my dad, my brother & the racist performing–what we now affectionately call–the “f**k you dance” which consists of placing your hands on your forehead, palms facing outward & middle fingers extended, screaming “f**k you!” at the top of your lungs while doing a kind of jig and spinning around in a circle.
no one in the city understood our accents (even though we’re from a neighboring state) and when we stopped to get gas on our way out of the city a belligerent hobo actually ripped the gas pump out of our tank and screamed at us in some kind of strange hobo dialect.

tl;dr: i don’t think i’ll be seeing this movie.

could that be MU TV?

 +1Posted on Dec 15th, 2010 | re: The 10 Best TV Shows Of 2010 (152 comments)

i’m glad someone gave friday night lights some love, it’s been having one of its best seasons (and i’m just a little but ashamed to admit that i’ve cried during EVERY episode this season).

 0Posted on Dec 6th, 2010 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (124 comments)

hey it’s Ignatius J. Reilly, hi

 0Posted on Dec 4th, 2010 | re: The Best Viral Video Of 2010 (83 comments)

this guy knows what you’re talking about: http://www.giantbomb.com/arcade-gannon/94-17049/all-images/52-490412/falloutnewvegasarcade0810x_large/51-1617680/

i’m gonna go sit on my nerd stool in my shame corner now.

 +5Posted on Dec 1st, 2010 | re: The Lincoln Lawyer Trailer, You Guys (37 comments)

i miss old kanye….my friend has a theory that he’s gotten progressively dumber since he “graduated”

(also, if Matthew McConaughey can be a lawyer then surely i can pass my 1L midterms next week? it’s the little things that give me hope)

 +4Posted on Nov 22nd, 2010 | re: The Walking Dead S01E04: Homies Don't Play Dat! (114 comments)

“Would there be so much bitter racism? Would so many of the survivors really turn into looters and murderers and threateners of extreme violence that fast?”

if you ever want a real world illustration of how easily people can turn into racist, violent psychopaths i suggest you just hang around a Burlington Coat Factory for about an hour.

 +1Posted on Oct 11th, 2010 | re: Mad Men S04E12: Blowing The Whistle On Big Beans (89 comments)

i think Don has another hard fall coming up. i can see Dr. Fey getting jealous of the secretary, pulling out that “I DON’T COOK” Jersey accent & then spilling Don’s little secret.

either that, or somebody will find his diary.

 +6Posted on Oct 8th, 2010 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Rhubarb Rhubarb Peas And Carrots Rhubarb (111 comments)

i was happy to see this shout out too; donald glover is adorable & he’ll always be spiderman in my heart.

 +1Posted on Oct 6th, 2010 | re: Friday Night Lights Season 5 Trailer, You Guys (32 comments)

i love FNL, but after watching that promo i feel like i actually have no idea what it’s about…just kidding, it’s like Texan iCarly, right?

 +5Posted on Sep 22nd, 2010 | re: Running Wilde Is A New TV Show (48 comments)

when i was a kid i got to take the school hamster–panda–home for spring break. my mom thought he smelled bad so she sat him out on the balcony overnight and the poor thing died from excessive heat. we called my teacher, who told us to just go to the pet store and buy a new hamster for $2. we found a hamster that sort of looked like panda & we named it panda and put it in panda’s cage but when i took it to school the next Monday everyone knew that it wasn’t panda.
Running Wilde makes me think of that hamster. FOX killed Arrested Development (slowly and painfully over the course of the third season) and now they’re trying to replace it with with a $2 hamster.
sorry for rambling, but this post brought up all kinds of repressed emotions for me…

 +3Posted on Jun 14th, 2010 | re: True Blood S03E01: The Triughphant Return Of The Worst Show On Television (97 comments)

andy bellefleur = frank sobotka = my head exploding.
(i seriously didn’t realize that until just now…i have to send my super-fan card back to HBO)

 +8Posted on May 17th, 2010 | re: NBC Introduces Its New FAIL Fall Lineup (118 comments)

it makes being brown in Arizona probable cause.

words cannot adequately explain how much i hate this damn movie. you, sir, are my favorite person on the internet today.