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lizzygirl
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Oh it definitely does. It’s like Zach Braff and the guys who wrote 500 Days of Summer got together and decided to write the ultimate Manic Pixie Dream Girl fantasy.
Briona?
What’s that horror movie where the black people die first?
I had to read it twice before I figured out that he wasn’t fake-peeing on her.
I noticed the clip where Sarah kissed ass on Lindsay and said she should win took place before Judge’s Table, instead of after as the editing implied (based on their seating arrangements pre/post-judging). Doesn’t change Sarah being The Worst, just also shows Top Chef editing being The Sneakiest.
Wow, what a sham. #punsmydadwouldmake
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger If You Just, You Know, Clean Yourself Up A Bit
Seasons 1 and 2 of Important Things with Demetri Martin. The second half of Downton Abbey season 2 is also on there – I think I stopped around episode 4 or 5? So much mishandling of character arcs, so little time.
Urine the right tract.
At the regular bar they serve Marky Wahlbangers.
I particularly like the background music. And the abandoned warehouse setting. And the slow zoom-in. And the way her hair’s literally melting into the pillow. Very calm. Very relaxing. I’l be watching this every night before I go to sleep for always.
I saw Paul Rudd in a play once. My vagina didn’t explode, but it was still appreciative.
I was going to make a The Number 23 joke in regards to Emma Stone’s age/Jim Carrey’s WTF, but then Google informed me that she’s not even that old yet. And I didn’t think this could get any grosser.
Constipation. (Period at the end = Charlie Kaufman film, get it? You get it.)
Diarrhea M for Turder
I was going to make the same joke with Band of Horses as the punchline, but this one is more subtle/better.
It must have Cousteau lot of money to repair the carpet.
This reminds me of that period of time last year I read The Secret Miracle: The Novelist’s Handbook, which is a compilation of semi-popular writers talking about their ~process. Parts of it were full of canned responses and self-indulgent bullshit like this. “Writing’s the FUN part/who the hell DOESN’T write in chronological order? Only assholes probably/lol the only thing better than writing is tedious research I am addicted to tedious research lol lol I am awesome.” – Verbatim Quote from Everyone in the Book
Bridget Jones Diary 3: Once, Twice, Three Times Degrading
Whoa wait, Tom Hanks plays the boy’s dad in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close? I automatically assumed he was playing the 100-year-old half-deaf guy who yells all the time. You know, awards season bait and all that. You can really tell I kept up with the production of this film.
And my WMOAT nominees are:
“Home Fries” (1998): To date, probably THE WORST MOVIE I’ve ever seen. Drew Barrymore’s pregnant with a married dude’s baby, but then the married dude is shocked to death by his sons via helicopter (WHAT), which may or may not be because their mom wanted them to do it, and then Luke Wilson gets a crush on Pregnant Drew Barrymore but OH WAIT that’s his stepdad’s baby she’s carrying, and also they might need to kill Pregnant Drew Barrymore because she MIGHT KNOW about their manslaughter tendencies? In spite of all this, I have a feeling it’s supposed to be a dark-yet-sweet comedy, but I did not laugh. I did not even laugh darkly. Or sweetly. It was the worst. The worst.
The worst.
Anyway, moving on:
“Committed” (2000): Luke Wilson (yep, him again) bails out on Heather Graham after a week (I think?) of marriage, she stalks him for a ridiculous amount of time before realizing he’s kind of (no, definitely) a jerk? And it’s also never really clear why she married him? And she randomly makes out with Casey Affleck, who’s playing her brother? Or maybe not I don’t really remember? And there’s a random dude stroking a mannequin? What?
“The Invention of Lying” (2009): Ugh. Ricky Gervais. I like him as much as the next person, except not really, because he seems to think he’s much funnier than he is, and the shorter his jokes are, the better, because going by this movie, he should not make movies. Plus the usually pretty likable Jennifer Garner is a narcissistic mess. Also, again: Ugh. Gervais.
“The Ice Storm” (1997): I may be biased by the fact that I saw this movie on a day that turned out to be one of the worst of my life, but seriously, it’s bad. Not only super depressing and unpleasant to watch, but just also kind of not good.
Nominating:
Home Fries (THIS MOVIE IS THE WORST OF ALL THE WORST)
Committed
Failure to Launch
I know I had more in mind than that. I wish I could remember them.
I just watched Committed (the one from 2000 with Heather Graham and Luke Wilson) the other night, and it was so unbearable that I could not, in good conscience, NOT suggest it. So there’s my nomination.
My favorite (not favorite) part is how Pop Chips don’t show up until over a minute into the video. Is this Pop Chip’s way of convincing us to use their product to wash the bad taste out of our mouth that’s caused by the first minute of the ad? Or is it just their way of making me feel more like a shithead for continuing to watch it for that long?