I just put actual grease on my iphone.
I actually lol’d at this one. More upvotes!
“But moooooommmm it’s hot in here!”
“Air conditioning hasn’t been invented yet! You want to see hot? HERE. Wear all the clothes.”
Things we should actually pay attention to and care about!
Wait, instagram isn’t cool.
Instagram before it was cool.
I had a weird dream the other night about a futuristic world. I had to get to a concert in Chicago for some reason. I went, and my girlfriend and I went into a French restaurant. She didn’t want to eat under the grizzly bear, so we went to the hotel. When we got on the elevator and went up, we emerged onto a different (“futuristic”) world. It was dark. There was a company meeting in the far corner. The whole room looked like darkness, but every time I took a step, a stair would automagically appear in front of me. So I ran. We never made the concert. And I live two days drive from Chicago.
Juxtaposition wins hearts!
Videogum Betty White Everywhere Promise: we’re all doing acid for this, right? Because DEMOCRACY.
Shia Labeouf would be on meth making the donuts and actually smiling, not just ACTING.
I don’t even know what this is! Hahahahaha. I want sugar.
Wow there’s some epic grammar fail in there. I’m so ashamed.
Also, we are fast approaching my favorite time of the year to drink beer. All the fall/winter ales and lagers that starting being released around now are usually my absolute favorites of the year. Seasonal beer is one of my favorite things. Did I mention I work in a brewery?
TLDR: BEER GOOD IN FALL.
Oooh, also, also, you can start enjoying cool mornings and evenings and like, hoodies and stuff! No? Just me?
Never mind. Gabe fixed it. Huzzah!
Worst part about this is that it will automatically play until it goes “below the fold” on the front page. All day long. Where does this plug-in get off thinking it can just DO WHAT IT WANTS!?
So far Gabe is up on Kelly 2-0 today. HELLOOOOOOO come on, it’s Tuesday! Or is she off today? I should pay more attention. Anyway what’s up?
Look! Now it’s cake AND death!
I GET IT. Also, I love puns. So. Keep them coming.
Ugh. Balls pop out of my mouth. UGH.
She’s a lucky woman, what can I say?
“Sweetheart, tonight I wanted to do something special. We’ve been together for about four months now, and, well, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. So with that in mind, I’ve got this cake for you. Be careful eating it though, it’s got a surprise in it, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself or anything…”
“HAHAHAHA oh man priceless!”
Actually, my girlfriend’s birthday is today. I had NO idea what to do, but now I’m calling the restaurant ahead of time to make sure this happens. Girlfriends love exploding cakes, right?
Gary’s exploding cone was better.
I’m just saying there would have been blood all over that warehouse, and it wouldn’t have happened.