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 +6Posted on Sep 14th, 2012 | re: The World's First Color Film Footage (21 comments)

I just put actual grease on my iphone.

 +3Posted on Sep 14th, 2012 | re: The World's First Color Film Footage (21 comments)

I actually lol’d at this one. More upvotes!

 +8Posted on Sep 14th, 2012 | re: The World's First Color Film Footage (21 comments)

“But moooooommmm it’s hot in here!”

“Air conditioning hasn’t been invented yet! You want to see hot? HERE. Wear all the clothes.”

 +2Posted on Sep 14th, 2012 | re: If I Ever Watched An Episode Of Dr. Phil It Would Be This One (38 comments)

Things we should actually pay attention to and care about!

 +20Posted on Sep 14th, 2012 | re: The World's First Color Film Footage (21 comments)

Wait, instagram isn’t cool.

 +13Posted on Sep 14th, 2012 | re: The World's First Color Film Footage (21 comments)

Instagram before it was cool.

I had a weird dream the other night about a futuristic world. I had to get to a concert in Chicago for some reason. I went, and my girlfriend and I went into a French restaurant. She didn’t want to eat under the grizzly bear, so we went to the hotel. When we got on the elevator and went up, we emerged onto a different (“futuristic”) world. It was dark. There was a company meeting in the far corner. The whole room looked like darkness, but every time I took a step, a stair would automagically appear in front of me. So I ran. We never made the concert. And I live two days drive from Chicago.

Juxtaposition wins hearts!

I think?

 0Posted on Sep 5th, 2012 | re: Online Petition Calls For Betty White To Address The DNC (6 comments)

Videogum Betty White Everywhere Promise: we’re all doing acid for this, right? Because DEMOCRACY.

Shia Labeouf would be on meth making the donuts and actually smiling, not just ACTING.

I don’t even know what this is! Hahahahaha. I want sugar.

 +6Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Today Is The Most Boring Day Of The Internet Year (71 comments)

Wow there’s some epic grammar fail in there. I’m so ashamed.

 +6Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Today Is The Most Boring Day Of The Internet Year (71 comments)

Early Edition.

 +9Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Today Is The Most Boring Day Of The Internet Year (71 comments)

Also, we are fast approaching my favorite time of the year to drink beer. All the fall/winter ales and lagers that starting being released around now are usually my absolute favorites of the year. Seasonal beer is one of my favorite things. Did I mention I work in a brewery?

TLDR: BEER GOOD IN FALL.

 +7Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Today Is The Most Boring Day Of The Internet Year (71 comments)

Oooh, also, also, you can start enjoying cool mornings and evenings and like, hoodies and stuff! No? Just me?

 0Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Heavy Metal Babies Headbanging Supercut (20 comments)

Never mind. Gabe fixed it. Huzzah!

 +4Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Heavy Metal Babies Headbanging Supercut (20 comments)

Worst part about this is that it will automatically play until it goes “below the fold” on the front page. All day long. Where does this plug-in get off thinking it can just DO WHAT IT WANTS!?

 +2Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Heavy Metal Babies Headbanging Supercut (20 comments)

So far Gabe is up on Kelly 2-0 today. HELLOOOOOOO come on, it’s Tuesday! Or is she off today? I should pay more attention. Anyway what’s up?

 +5Posted on Aug 27th, 2012 | re: "Great Job" On The Birthday Surprise, Everybody (23 comments)

Look! Now it’s cake AND death!

 0Posted on Aug 27th, 2012 | re: What Is On Emma Stone's Bucket List? (25 comments)

I GET IT. Also, I love puns. So. Keep them coming.

 +8Posted on Aug 27th, 2012 | re: What Is On Emma Stone's Bucket List? (25 comments)

Ugh. Balls pop out of my mouth. UGH.

 +7Posted on Aug 27th, 2012 | re: "Great Job" On The Birthday Surprise, Everybody (23 comments)

She’s a lucky woman, what can I say?

 +18Posted on Aug 27th, 2012 | re: "Great Job" On The Birthday Surprise, Everybody (23 comments)

“Sweetheart, tonight I wanted to do something special. We’ve been together for about four months now, and, well, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. So with that in mind, I’ve got this cake for you. Be careful eating it though, it’s got a surprise in it, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself or anything…”

“…honey!”

(BOOM)

“HAHAHAHA oh man priceless!”

 +15Posted on Aug 27th, 2012 | re: "Great Job" On The Birthday Surprise, Everybody (23 comments)

Actually, my girlfriend’s birthday is today. I had NO idea what to do, but now I’m calling the restaurant ahead of time to make sure this happens. Girlfriends love exploding cakes, right?

 +12Posted on Aug 27th, 2012 | re: "Great Job" On The Birthday Surprise, Everybody (23 comments)

Gary’s exploding cone was better.

 +5Posted on Aug 27th, 2012 | re: "Great Job" On The Birthday Surprise, Everybody (23 comments)

I’m just saying there would have been blood all over that warehouse, and it wouldn’t have happened.