I think that House should find out he is really part of the British royal family, which makes him much happier and sillier. And the doctors can all leave, and Rowan Atkinson will come on as House’s servant or nephew or something, who is smart but a jerk (House is not a jerk anymore. Just go with it.) There should be another character. He can be called Baldrick.

If Link is played by James McAvoy, I think I might have found my passion project. By that, I mean I am going to start kidnapping people and awakening old ones to make this happen.

Bender. Bender wins. Bender wins every time. Sorry superbowl, but it’s Bender. Nothing* can compete with Bender.

*do I really need to say “except Tilda Swinton” here? It is probably a given at this point.

ooooh! I have a couch! Everyone meet at my place for mini tacos and singing (in 60 years)!

It’s true! I couldn’t keep a man until I branched out into competitive beekeeping. Now I have to keep ‘em away with a stick! Literally. I call the stick ‘Ole Mancrusher. I’m actually a fugitive in seven states!

I guess he played a lot of Maniac Mansion so he knows.

I can only hope that this show will involve record contracts and aliens on Letterman. That would make it the best show. Actually, can they just show episodes entirely of people playing Maniac Mansion? I suspect there would be a market for that (me. I am the market)

Anyone else actually yelp at this? Six times in a row?

Every day my Paul Wellstone memorial tattoo gets less and less relevant

JUST A TINY CRAZY PART OF IT!! I promise! We are not all insane! The chances of someone killing you and feeding you to a wood chipper are actually much lower than film would have you believe!