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 +19Posted on Apr 1st, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (112 comments)

I would like next post/previous post buttons at the bottom of the comments. Sometimes there are a lot of comments!

 +6Posted on Mar 14th, 2011 | re: What is the HTML for "Vomit"?: A Review of Battle: Los Angeles (101 comments)

“Their laughter rattled through the room like a cup of marbles falling over on a hardwood floor” is the best simile I have read today and this is the best movie review. Mans, you poet!

 +2Posted on Mar 10th, 2011 | re: Top Chef: All-Stars S01E13: Cowabunga, Dude, Eat Some Shorts! (36 comments)

I’ve realized that I can relate to Blais and his insecurities. I hated writing exams and was always convinced I’d failed even though I’d done fine (I could probably win Top Exam (perfect analogy)). The stress gets to you, you guys! What I’m saying is, Blais and I should be in a low self-esteem support group together and he should cater all the meetings.

 +8Posted on Feb 24th, 2011 | re: Top Chef: All-Stars S01E11: Paula Deen Will Eat Your Face (29 comments)

Oh, Dale! I am not too proud to admit that I shed a tear when you were eliminated because I am a sympathy crier and also knowing I have to see Mike Isabella’s face again next week. I will miss you, but I’m glad you’re in a better place now (Top Chef heaven).

 +4Posted on Feb 3rd, 2011 | re: Top Chef: All-Stars S01E08: fUGHettaboutit. (48 comments)

Right? I don’t know if I’ve ever been more disappointed that someone wasn’t eliminated. That ending would have improved the episode by about 300% (rough estimate).

 +6Posted on Jan 6th, 2011 | re: Top Chef: All-Stars S01E05: Forget It, Tom, It's Top Chef Town (37 comments)

Yeah, that’s too bad because I have kind of been enjoying his ridiculous cockiness lately. For some reason when it comes from Marcel it makes me laugh; when it comes from Mike Isabella it makes me want to kill Mike Isabella.

 +6Posted on Dec 16th, 2010 | re: Top Chef: All-Stars S01E03: Imitation Is the Sincerest Form Of Cookery? (29 comments)

I like both Dales (controversial?), so I was happy Dale won and sad Dale lost. But also so happy they finally came to their senses about Stephen! How did that take three weeks? So on balance, I’m pretty happy.

 0Posted on Dec 2nd, 2010 | re: Top Chef: All-Stars S01E01: The Gang's All Here (And Also Marcel) (75 comments)

Her face is TOTALLY weird! Whether she is happy, angry, or smug her face looks exactly the same.

 +44Posted on Jul 8th, 2010 | re: Top Chef S07E04: Puns Aside, This Week's Episode Was Terrible (50 comments)

I can’t wait for him to open a breakfast joint called Statutory Crepe.

 +17Posted on Jul 8th, 2010 | re: The 2010 Emmy Award Nominees (97 comments)

I am so excited that Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton finally got frigging nominated! Nothing else matters.

 +11Posted on Jun 23rd, 2010 | re: Best New Party Game 26: Do You Mean The One Where... (420 comments)

Was it the episode where someone went home even though their dish was obviously not the worst but the judges wanted to teach them a lesson for refusing to admit their mistakes?

A friend of mine was telling some folks about the actor who played “Dumbledorf” just yesterday.

Can I just say how much I love Clark Johnson? The best.

“Some shameful shit right here.” – Gus Haynes

 +23Posted on May 18th, 2010 | re: Norwegian Improv Everywhere Slightly Better Than American Improv Everywhere (46 comments)

Did Copenhagen get annexed by Norway when I wasn’t looking?!

 +2Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: Ultimately, Ke$ha Is Our Fault (129 comments)

According to my research (googling Dr. Luke after he was mentioned above) that is because all their songs are written by the same person! I know, my mind is blown too.

 +4Posted on May 7th, 2010 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (107 comments)

I don’t know, “you need to learn to breathe through your coccyx” sounds exactly like the kind of thing my non-fictional college theatre professor would have said. I completely believe her.

 +11Posted on May 7th, 2010 | re: Final Reminder: Mother's Day Is This Sunday! (67 comments)

Ugh, umbrellas are the worst! They are so awkward to carry in the first place and then you inevitably forget them on the subway and end up getting wet anyway!

To sum up: moms good, umbrellas bad.

 +21Posted on Apr 21st, 2010 | re: Pay For Your TV Hat With The New $100 Bill (56 comments)

This video made me feel strangely claustrophobic – I kept backing away from my computer because it felt TOO CLOSE and INTENSE. Zoom out! Zoom out! Sexy closeups of $100 bills flying at my face obviously terrify me. First world white people problems.

 +4Posted on Apr 15th, 2010 | re: Would You Like To Buy a JAIL CELL? (102 comments)

Where is my (hot tub) time machine, I need to go back and send a complaint letter to the CRTC! Canadiangum.

 +1Posted on Apr 7th, 2010 | re: Gossip Girl S03E17: I Would Like To Play Assassin With This Show (25 comments)

My understanding was that she gets tips sent to her by eavesdroppers through the magic of telecommunications. I am not saying this is particularly plausible, just probably more plausible than almost everything else that happens on the show.

 +9Posted on Mar 18th, 2010 | re: Eat Pray Love Asshole (79 comments)

I will save you the trouble. The answer is get an advance to write about the experience before it happens (you already know it will be magical so this should be an easy sell). Also, it doesn’t hurt to meet a rich businessman in Bali. You’re welcome.

 +6Posted on Mar 18th, 2010 | re: Eat Pray Love Asshole (79 comments)

No, she had to go to Bali to meet Javier Bardem, the love of her life, DUH.

 +6Posted on Feb 25th, 2010 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Kevin Smith Needs To Shut Up (102 comments)

Ugh. I couldn’t manage more than a shrug in response to the whole Southwest debacle, but the “it’s just a movie” response to a critical review actually makes me angry. A critic’s job is to be critical. If he weren’t he would be a bad critic. Your job is to make a good movie and/or shut up. SHUT UP.

 +6Posted on Feb 23rd, 2010 | re: The Nightmare On Elm Street Poster Is Not That Nightmare-y-ish (78 comments)

Along the same lines, did anyone else accidentally see that episode of Criminal Minds where the crazy lady turns women into live dolls by giving them some kind of drug that induces paralysis in an IV drip so they can’t move but remain completely awake and aware while she does things like sew wigs directly onto their scalps and make them to have tea parties? Because that is my new nightmare.

 +14Posted on Feb 15th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Armageddon (115 comments)

I just want to sympathize with Gabe’s friend because I have borderline-comical emotional reactions to almost everything. I’ve never seen Armageddon, but about 5 minutes ago I cried while watching a Tim Horton’s commercial, so I should probably never see Armageddon because I don’t think I can spare the moisture.