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Kip
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She chose to get drunk. So did THEY. I chose to put half-n-half in my cereal today because a friend told me it would be better than milk. He was right, but I forget where I’m going with this.

Oh wait, I remember, I was just posting a list of THINGS THAT DON’T FUCKING MATTER JESUS CHRIST STOP PERPETUATING RAPE CULTURE.

 +3Posted on Feb 25th | re: Dear Comedy, Just So You Know, You Are Allowed To Apologize (126 comments)

I assumed they were using the British definition of the word, meaning “character in a Guy Ritchie film.”

It’s cool as long as it’s not a dude marrying a dude cutout.

 +23Posted on Aug 2nd, 2012 | re: Oh, Actually, Boycott Chick-Fil-A (184 comments)

EAT MOR ILITEROT JAKNAYPS

 +6Posted on Jul 16th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E01: The Magnet Plan That Could Never Fail (89 comments)

Unrelated, but I kind of love how AMC’s new official slogan appears to be “Fuck DISH.”

 +3Posted on Jul 6th, 2012 | re: How Will All Of The Wikileaks Movies End?! (38 comments)

Julian looks over at Helena Bonham Carter and says, “You met me at a very strange time in my life.” Then they look out the window at all the bank businesses and they all collapse. In economic terms, I mean. Because he leaked all their secrets. The buildings are still entirely intact.

WITH YOUR FEET IN THE AIR AND YOUR HEAD ON THE GROOOOUUUUUUUUUUND!!!!!

 +7Posted on Jun 25th, 2012 | re: So? Guys? The Newsroom? (30 comments)

It’s even harder knowing he owns a bottle of dick cream and likes to fondle his sweaters.

 +15Posted on Jun 22nd, 2012 | re: Avastar: The Avatar Themed Night Club 4 Us (29 comments)

I know someone who’s excited about this news!

 +9Posted on May 21st, 2012 | re: Dan Harmon Replaced As Community Show Runner (83 comments)

It all depends on the show. From day one, this was Dan Harmon’s baby and, while a lot of fantastic shows have had behind-the-scenes shakeups on a regular basis, this was a show that the fans knew inside and out. Firing Harmon as showrunner for Community is akin to firing Louis CK as the show runner for Louie. I don’t think that’s too bold a statement to make considering the type of show we’re talking about here.

I’m sure the show will be watchable at the very least, but all those brick jokes that have been a long time coming (like Jeff’s table-for-one at Morty’s steakhouse on May 23, 2013 that he mentioned in season one) are almost certainly going to be dropped.

Cool, I should read the whole thread next time.

 +5Posted on Apr 9th, 2012 | re: Saturday Night Live: Sofia Vergara And One Direction (51 comments)

They weren’t dancing the way we dance, Peggy. They were ENJOYING it…

 +45Posted on Mar 30th, 2012 | re: Woman Terrorized By Spike Lee's Tweets Is Selfish Monster (100 comments)

Fake and Gated community.

 +5Posted on Mar 22nd, 2012 | re: Are You Smarter Than A Bibleth Grader? (53 comments)

People who use piano wire to strangle other rarely use the defense, “I did it because the piano wire told me to,” so the analogy is far from perfect.

 +6Posted on Mar 19th, 2012 | re: Finally A BELIEVABLE Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Backstory (32 comments)

Also, statistically, at least one of your friends will probably be vegan.

Or talk about them enough that their sponsors pull out.

 +18Posted on Feb 20th, 2012 | re: Saturday Night Live: Maya Rudolph And Sleigh Bells (62 comments)

That was racially Linsensitive.

 +7Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

What’s that one Alison Brie scene that they turned into a popular animated gif?

 0Posted on Feb 2nd, 2012 | re: Worlds Been Had Colliding: Selena Gomez And Eli Roth Edition (40 comments)

This was totally not a response. But you’re welcome to consider it one!

 +1Posted on Feb 2nd, 2012 | re: Worlds Been Had Colliding: Selena Gomez And Eli Roth Edition (40 comments)

Tyler Perry and Snagglepuss.

 +1Posted on Jan 24th, 2012 | re: The 2012 Academy Awards Nominees (128 comments)

There is, but it’s literally just an animated gif of the September 11th bombings.

Although EVEN THAT seems less exploitive than Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close was.

 +2Posted on Jan 19th, 2012 | re: Quote Of The Day: Mark Wahlberg Would Have Stopped 9/11 (94 comments)

Akon cut in front of my friend in line at Universal Studios once.

If Akon were on that plane with the terrorists he would have put the blame on THEM.

Akon has a stupid name.

 0Posted on Jan 16th, 2012 | re: The 2012 Golden Globe Awards (35 comments)

I know the reason it wasn’t nominated for any Emmys this year is that it aired in the summer or something arbitrary like that and so it wasn’t eligible. So that could be why it wasn’t nominated here either.

Or it could be because this is the same award show that once honored “Avatar” with Best Picture.

 +1Posted on Dec 20th, 2011 | re: The Gummy Awards: Your Favorite Movies Of 2011 (80 comments)

That movie was great. Almodovar is great. Except when he’s bad.

 0Posted on Dec 19th, 2011 | re: Saturday Night Live: Jimmy Fallon And Michael BublĂ© (32 comments)

I’m disappointed by the lack of upvotes here.