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Kathleeny
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11. Quietly masturbate.
It’s not all bad up here in Montreal. It’s so cold I called in sick to work, and instead I’m at home in my onesie hangin’ with the cats, an electric heating pad, and some tea. Fuck you, winter!
If you’re having purl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a stitch ain’t one.
“Just remem– Hey, come back over here. Just remember: No dates ’til you’re 30, heh. Now come scooch in here next to me with my arm around your waist. Scooch in there, sweetheart. Scooch. Closer. There we go, heh.” – Joe Biden: America’s creepy uncle.
I just got a OnePiece for my birthday and it’s absolute fucking heaven. I’m wearing it right now, I wore it out to the store yesterday, and I am seriously considering wearing it to the office tomorrow, which might be awkward because I’ll be giving rapid-HIV tests to teens all day. OnePiece forever (and good luck with the job hunt)!
Consider that dude concussed.
Duh, that’s clearly Camille and Kennerly Burpo, the twins that never were.
Ummm, I got bored just as the camera went back to the guy in the studio so I skipped ahead… and missed the footage of the bridge entirely. I am this news team, apparently.
That Fox News journalist must be relieved she wore her best pearls to speak with Prophet Burpo.
Fake and neigh?
It’s kind of amazing how Shindler’s List is still the go-to “serious movie” reference in 2010.
Not even a little, thank God.
Yup, it turns out Birdie’s one mean-spirited puppy.
No, this dog is just carrying out a Birdieogum Everywhere mission.
“Don’t commit your hate crimes here, Narc. HATE CRIME!”
#10yearoldSimpsonsjokes
Can’t an iguana try to win a rap battle without everyone snickering and being all immature about it?
Arggh! I’m so incensed by how horrible this invention actually is. You’re lying in bed at night and your back is itchy — it’s happened to all of us. Obviously, the best solution is to get out of bed, put on your robe and slippers ‘cuz it’s chilly, run downstairs to the one corner of wall in your laundry room or garage where you felt comfortable installing this eye-sore, and spend the next 10 minutes squirming upright in the dark. Oops, don’t forget to take off your robe again, since you can’t feel the scratcher through it!
And yet the tip I sent in for an adorable, lighthearted, and frankly amazing video of cats playing patty-cake was completely ignored (available here for anyone who’s interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvxCv_yrcCY&feature). I know you’re team dog, Gabe, but this is too far.
I don’t know, this feels like a really calculated attempt to go viral to me. I’m not getting a “we should all be so lucky as to find something in this world to make us happy” vibe from this guy. More like: goofy bathing cap and goggles? Check. Pull my shorts up high? Check. Make sure to include hump moves in my dance? Check. One youtube fame-moment please.
Hey, my name’s spelled “Kathleeny” not “Dan”, Gabe. I sent you the tip for this last Friday.
After all that effort and planning, what’s with the grunge/Tool Time styling of the lead?