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Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now! Gotta go! Gotta go! GOTTA GO!

I went when he was in LA and it was super fun! I’m willing to just let him do his thing until TBS, which will mark the point in which this bitterness is all out of his system. Also, I think my satisfaction/joy from that evening stems directly from Jack MacBrayer’s shining, cameo-making face. His teeth are like the sun.

 +6Posted on May 19th, 2010 | re: GLEE S01E19: An Open HellMouth Kiss from Heaven (80 comments)

Best job Gabe, all of the devils in your brain can take the day off. (Welcome to my new favorite sentence.)

 0Posted on May 19th, 2010 | re: James Franco Is Just An Actual, Unironic Soap Opera Star Now (37 comments)

I’m just going to let James Franco be great on this one.

 +5Posted on May 17th, 2010 | re: NBC Introduces Its New FAIL Fall Lineup (118 comments)

 +10Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Roller Coaster Tycoon: The Movie Will Be Terrible (42 comments)

The only way that I would see this is if the picture on this post was flashed on the screen every 5 seconds. The other four seconds of screen time would just be footage of otters, DUH.

This reminds me of the time my Dad took a chainsaw to my bike, literally (and figuratively!) destroying my childhood. True story!

 +1Posted on Apr 9th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Down To You (265 comments)

As a girl who was teenaged in the year 2000, I will admit openly/on this anonymous internet forum that I always will be a little bit in love with Freddie Prinze Jr. I have since forgiven him for his part in Scoobie Doo and we’ve been going strong ever since. I’M NOT ASHAMED.

 +7Posted on Mar 25th, 2010 | re: Birdemic Premieres In New York City Tomorrow Night, Hosted By Videogum (71 comments)

I can’t play because I don’t live in New York but one time while I was at Sea World one of the seagulls swooped down from the sky and stole my churro. Years later, fueled by my loss and blind rage, I exacted revenge by totally nailing a rogue seagull with a softball while I was at hitting practice.

And by “exacted my revenge” I mean: this happened and I cried inconsolably for an hour afterwards.

 +14Posted on Mar 23rd, 2010 | re: Joe Biden Is The Permanent Headliner At The Gaffe Factory! (64 comments)

F bombs are better than bomb bombs!

 +3Posted on Mar 22nd, 2010 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (388 comments)

Pony Express=The Only Way To My Heart.

(I think I’m in love)

 +8Posted on Mar 21st, 2010 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (388 comments)

There has always been an element of self righteous circle-jerkery on Videogum, and usually it’s totally tolerable and vaguely justified, but this is just next level.

 +3Posted on Feb 1st, 2010 | re: These Are Your Jeans: Pajama Jeans (110 comments)

Or sorority girls, “Perfect for the Walk of Shame! But why would you be ashamed when you look like you’re wearing jeans from some fancy European company? Pajama Jeans are your little secret, just like all the mistakes you made last night.”

 +1Posted on Feb 1st, 2010 | re: These Are Your Jeans: Pajama Jeans (110 comments)

This actually made me physically ill. But this comes from someone who wears shoes at all times because being barefoot is gross. What do I look like to you? A pregnant hillbilly? (So I’ve got my own set of issues.)

 0Posted on Jan 14th, 2010 | re: Let's Paint, Exercise, And Help Haiti, You Guys (19 comments)

I have and I hate myself for it.

 +6Posted on Jan 12th, 2010 | re: Show Your Support For Conan O'Brien (81 comments)

All of the tiny little Tobys have Conan hair. Your avatar is literally in the process of getting me through this tough time. The best.

Barf me out to the max!

 +4Posted on Dec 15th, 2009 | re: Party! Pizza Party! Videogum Pizza Party! (And Last Call For Interns!) (108 comments)

Oh I know it’s not! I tried to live in the Midwest for a while but I was too afraid to drive in whatever that cold white stuff was that fell from the sky (true story). Let’s not have a pizza party, say we did, and prove it by aggressive name-dropping because that’s how we do it here! …I’m not doing a good job of proving that I like LA, am I?

 +5Posted on Dec 15th, 2009 | re: Party! Pizza Party! Videogum Pizza Party! (And Last Call For Interns!) (108 comments)

LA is not the worst! Where else can you have a pizza party at the Medical Marijuana Distribution Center? (Probably somewhere else too, I don’t know. What do I look like? A fact checker to you?) You could bring the Pizza, I could bring the prescriptions claiming you have glaucoma.

(Sometimes LA is the worst.)

I really hope that you meant “bolivian” and didn’t mistype “oblivion” because I really enjoy the idea of Bolivia being where you get exiled to once you aren’t relevant anymore. Like how Austrailia started with criminals, except with more Flavor of Love cast offs and Real World/Road Rules Gauntlets.

 +22Posted on Dec 15th, 2009 | re: Necky Says, "Scarves Are For Assholes!" (61 comments)

American Apparel will have a naked hipster wearing one in day-glo by the end of the week. If I were better at the internet I would have photoshopped this picture into existence, but I’m just gonna let your imaginations run free! I think “imaginations” are what people used before the internet. Not sure, could just be a rumor.

PS: I’m new! Let’s be friends?

Listening to house music, fist pumping like a heavy weight champ!

 +9Posted on Dec 14th, 2009 | re: What Is The Catchphrase Of The Decade? (162 comments)

Well, that was a freebie.