I still don’t get why Mike had all that strawberry jam in his front pocket

Here’s an excerpt from my Zoosk advertisement spec script on dating a ghost:

INT – Coffee shop, but with ghosts

WOMAN AT LAPTOP: “I’d sure love to meet some Cool New Ghosts!”

GHOST: (says a really good knock-knock joke or something)

EVERYONE: “LOL!”

I lost the rest in a fire.

Tracy Morgan also remembers the time when two wax Bruce Willis figurines bought a combination A&W/KFC, and ran it successfully.

I’m going to caption this with my FAVORITE line from Die Hard 2: “Hey guys, I’m a wax likeness of Bruce Willis that is being wiped by a yellow cloth in front of a lightly shimmering curtain.”

True Grits

Alternately: “BOWTIE ALERRRRRRT!”