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joshandnotwhatshisname

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 -1Posted on Feb 1st, 2010 | re: Chris Matthews Forgot Barack Obama Was Black Last Night (101 comments)

I’ll be the odd man out: if I’d been watching when Chris Matthews said that, I wouldn’t even have considered calling him racist. He didn’t say “I almost forgot he was a chicken-eating n***** for a minute there,” he said that he watched Obama without conscious awareness of his race. Just like I talk to my friend Diego without thinking “Okay, you’re a Mexican” while he talks.
FML (For Martin Luther)
(or For Michael Landon)

 +1Posted on Jan 30th, 2010 | re: These Guys Keep It Very, Very Real (46 comments)

The huge guy definitely rolls deep

 +4Posted on Jan 29th, 2010 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: This Girl Is Not A Werewolf (47 comments)

I believe she’s a werewolf. It’s like every other person/creature of legend: the reality is NOT what you expected. Like when I spent 6 years (and half a million dollars) trying to locate the monkey that first spread HIV to humans. Turns out, it was Ann Coulter.

 +3Posted on Jan 29th, 2010 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: This Girl Is Not A Werewolf (47 comments)

fever ray!

 +2Posted on Dec 4th, 2009 | re: Steven Seagal Knows All Of The Police Words! (59 comments)

I wonder how all those cops gained weight so successfully

 +2Posted on Oct 10th, 2009 | re: A Guide To Kissing For Super Creeps (35 comments)

I would give anything to see a couple do the First Kiss in public. It looks exactly like the kissing in Team America

 0Posted on Oct 10th, 2009 | re: Oprah Pees For 10 Minutes (32 comments)

What the hell?!?! The Youtube viewer rating is only 4 1/2 stars?! I guess she DID have her hands free for some juggling action……….

 0Posted on Oct 10th, 2009 | re: What Movie Should Disney Make After Opposite Day? (47 comments)

The sad thing is every sarcastic movie idea I have is already a movie…..”He can’t tell a lie for one whole day!” being a good example, and also “He sees people for their inner beauty and falls for a fat chick.”

 +2Posted on Oct 10th, 2009 | re: Rush Limbaugh Calls Winning A Nobel Peace Prize An Embarrassment? (94 comments)

First Al Gore won, now Obama…can I just say that THE NOBLE PEACE PRIZE WANTS AMERICA TO FAIL

 +1Posted on Oct 1st, 2009 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: skoalrebel (82 comments)

I don’t get it, did he mix opium and chewing tobacco? It seems like he was taking a nap and someone poked him with a stick and said “Skoalrebel! Wake the fuck up, man, and like pontificate or what-not bout the state of the fuckin world!”

 0Posted on Sep 5th, 2009 | re: What Should Be The Tagline For Bad Boys 3? (84 comments)

Bad Boys 3: Bad and Badderer

 +2Posted on Sep 4th, 2009 | re: What Are We Even Talking About Here, Chris Brown? (55 comments)

Why can’t Larry King be old AND crabby like Dave Letterman? Then he would have said “You don’t know what to think? If you heard Jay-Z did these things to Beyonce, what would you think?”
Dude acts like he just woke up from being roofied! “Oh man, that’s crazy what the police report says this OTHER Chris Brown did…cuz that’s not the real Chris Brown. Like, wow. I don’t know what to think.” Golly, sir, me and my bowtie would never exhibit such uncouth behavior. Again. And get caught.”
p.s. did he beat the smart out of her??? She wants him to not be punished.

 +1Posted on Sep 4th, 2009 | re: Boondock Saints 2 Definitely Looks Twice As Bad As Boondock Saints 1 (56 comments)

The one important contribution the first one made to the world is that somehow the guys put their shirts on really quick in one fluid motion….and I tried it but failed.