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jarviscockblocker
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 +1Posted on Jan 13th, 2013 | re: This Week In GIFs! (3 comments)

I saw John Dies At The End and it was really fun/weird/good so I made a gif of this scene where a doorknob turns into a penis.

 +3Posted on Nov 12th, 2012 | re: A Bunch Of Movie Characters Smashing Through Glass (3 comments)

Don’t want to be Poopy McPoopFace about this, but the lovely people of Everything is Terrible did a much better seven minute montage, actually called Defenestration The Movie. Apparently there’s a 30 minute version they play at live shows as well.

http://www.everythingisterrible.com/2010/11/defenestration-now.html

 +13Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 | re: Everybody Needs "A Thing" (16 comments)

In a fair world Pedro Almodóvar would see this and cast him in his next film called Almodóvar/AlmoDÓvar

 +21Posted on Oct 18th, 2012 | re: Girl Stuff: Uh, We Could Become "Living Dolls"? (24 comments)

Somewhere right now Joss Whedon has the weirdest boner.

 0Posted on Sep 1st, 2012 | re: Should Rihanna Play Michelle Pfeiffer In The Scarface Remake? (33 comments)

I imagine all suitcases being golden brown, texture like sun.

 +14Posted on Aug 31st, 2012 | re: Should Rihanna Play Michelle Pfeiffer In The Scarface Remake? (33 comments)

I imagined it being a closed suitcase, YOU AWFUL RACIST!

 +16Posted on Aug 31st, 2012 | re: Should Rihanna Play Michelle Pfeiffer In The Scarface Remake? (33 comments)

Based on her abilities in Battleship, the only role Rihanna would be capable of playing in the new Scarface is a suitcase of cocaine.

 +5Posted on Jul 27th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (45 comments)

I’d like to say only four words about that Life of Pi trailer.

WHAT. DREAMS. MAY. COME.

 +6Posted on Jun 15th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (21 comments)

Insanely hot? He had chunks of grease for hair and pubes for a beard.

 +6Posted on Jun 15th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (21 comments)

Ethan Hawke totally cancels out the dumbness of that Sinister trailer. And I really like Queen of Versailles, but what are our feelings supposed to be towards that family? Pity? Schadenfreude? Evil cackle?

 0Posted on Jun 10th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (55 comments)

Isn’t he just channelling Tommy Wiseau in this?

 +6Posted on May 18th, 2012 | re: Leonardo DiCaprio Eating Soup (39 comments)

The paparazzi should be the least of his worries when he’s sitting right next to the terrifying googly eyes of AUTO SPKR wall-mounted robot overwatch.

 +2Posted on May 18th, 2012 | re: Leonardo DiCaprio Eating Soup (39 comments)

Romeo + Spooniet

 +14Posted on May 2nd, 2012 | re: Damon Lindelof Hints That Lost May Return, BUT HOW? (47 comments)

…brother.

 +9Posted on May 2nd, 2012 | re: Damon Lindelof Hints That Lost May Return, BUT HOW? (47 comments)

Faraday was right. More important than HOW it’s returning is WHEN.

 +10Posted on Apr 19th, 2012 | re: The New Mel Gibson Rant Is Strictly For The Rant Heads (42 comments)

Sounds like Sunn O))) to me.

 +10Posted on Apr 13th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (23 comments)

It was written and directed by the singer of Kula Shaker, so there.

 +7Posted on Apr 12th, 2012 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Mel Gibson Is Still Mel Gibson (62 comments)

“Because they’ve been opressed and persecuted for centuries, that’s where, you cunt!” – Mel Gibson

 +5Posted on Apr 12th, 2012 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Mel Gibson Is Still Mel Gibson (62 comments)

This is just a sad, riveting, mildly funny, but alltogether terrifying story or as they called these in the biz, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn

 +2Posted on Mar 18th, 2012 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (72 comments)

Húha, van még itt magyar rajtam kívül?

Idris Elba.

 +7Posted on Mar 9th, 2012 | re: A Reporter Walking Into A Pole (17 comments)

I am appoled by this crude form of physical comedy and my awful pun.

 +11Posted on Mar 7th, 2012 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (5 comments)

Gosh darnit I though that Topher Grace/Star Wars new would warrant a separate “Hey, What’s Up With Topher Grace” post.

 +10Posted on Feb 16th, 2012 | re: BREAKING NEWS: Woman Falls Down (30 comments)

(sad trombone)

 0Posted on Feb 15th, 2012 | re: Who Should Play Hannibal Lecter In NBC's Hannibal? (34 comments)

Alison Brie.

And the first piece of human flesh she should eat as Lecter would have to be my [horrible joke selfcensored].