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jar krenshaw
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 +15Posted on Dec 18th, 2013 | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (90 comments)

In my mind it is.

 +13Posted on Dec 18th, 2013 | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (90 comments)

I just drank a Coors Light and my mom bought me a blender!

 +16Posted on Dec 11th, 2013 | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (86 comments)

and now a cat is asleep on my lap

 +11Posted on Dec 11th, 2013 | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (86 comments)

I bought new gloves and used them to help me carry a heavy case of beer home in the cold.

 +11Posted on May 28th, 2013 | re: Arrested Development And/Or Behind The Candelabra Open Thread (106 comments)

I think it’s because she has a wig on with the long blonde hair, she looks more normal once she has her real short hair.

 +20Posted on May 28th, 2013 | re: Arrested Development And/Or Behind The Candelabra Open Thread (106 comments)

After like 5 drafts of my thoughts on the new season of AD, I’m scrapping them all to just say that I’m very pleased with how it turned out.

 +11Posted on May 3rd, 2013 | re: What Is Your Most Embarrassing Celebrity Dream? (40 comments)

Oh this is fun, I recently had a dream where Ryan Lochte hired me as his personal non-sexual small spoon sleeping partner. ack!

 0Posted on Apr 2nd, 2013 | re: "Michael" (8 comments)

Welp, guess I’ll just go to bed now that I’ve watched that.

My personal hell involves me having to work eternity in a Starbucks where this is my customer always

 +11Posted on Jan 30th, 2013 | re: Our Legally Required Jason London Poop Blog Post, Your Honor (16 comments)

the most roundabout sneeze shart to ever happen

 +13Posted on Jan 22nd, 2013 | re: Healing (14 comments)

Here’s to hoping that this is all that survives us as a civilization.

 +26Posted on Jan 16th, 2013 | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (104 comments)

I almost ate a hot dog but made pasta instead.

 +3Posted on Nov 1st, 2012 | re: Who Do You Think Mitt Romney's Favorite TV Characters Are? (97 comments)

Whoever it was that shot JR, did that ever get resolved?

 +15Posted on Nov 1st, 2012 | re: The Dude Who Wouldn't Riot (14 comments)

Damn it Bejeweled, first I missed my stop and then a riot!?

 +25Posted on Oct 11th, 2012 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Mitt Romney Isn't Coach Taylor (48 comments)

Mitt Romney is personally responsible for the Landry kills a guy storyline.

 0Posted on Sep 19th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 71: Updating Movies With Technology (111 comments)

Shindler’s List except they ride Segways into the sky instead of bikes.

 +8Posted on Aug 13th, 2012 | re: Germans Deliver An Important Message For All Of Mankind (27 comments)

I consider any boner hiding guide without mention of the textbook block to be an utter failure.

 +8Posted on Aug 13th, 2012 | re: Sometimes Things Aren't As They Seem (22 comments)

Love means never having to say I’m sorry for falling asleep while floating in the Susquehanna.

 +5Posted on Jun 28th, 2012 | re: People Tripping Is Always Funny, Should Be Mandatory (23 comments)

“dads be hackin’” – they

 +11Posted on Jun 28th, 2012 | re: People Tripping Is Always Funny, Should Be Mandatory (23 comments)

what a trip! #booooooo

 +10Posted on May 3rd, 2012 | re: When We All Have Robot Torsos To Hug We Will Never Be Lonely Again! (37 comments)

are the arms is one of my favorite brands to wear

 +3Posted on Mar 22nd, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 64: Outdoor Movies (68 comments)

Wide Open Spaces Jam

 +15Posted on Feb 1st, 2012 | re: Newt Gingrich Wants Brad Pitt To Play Him In A Movie (45 comments)

Gollum in an Andy Serkis costume dressed up as a bag of bread for Halloween

 +14Posted on Feb 1st, 2012 | re: Channing Tatum Tries To Prank Run With The Big Prank Dogs (50 comments)

schtick dick

 +6Posted on Sep 8th, 2011 | re: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK) (172 comments)

Sarah Palin: Cersei?