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 +6Posted on Jan 24th, 2012 | re: Local News Station Re-Enacts Court Transcripts With Puppets, Obviously (23 comments)

That’s weird, I thought all of the puppets were in Washington for the State of the Union tonight.

 +9Posted on Jan 24th, 2012 | re: The State Of The Union Drinking Game (38 comments)

Thank you. It came to me in a dream where I was watching the bombing of Fort McHenry while drinking a bottle of Dewar’s.

 +29Posted on Jan 24th, 2012 | re: The State Of The Union Drinking Game (38 comments)

Drink every time Obama discusses:

- the succession to the throne of Westeros.
- strategies for fortifying the wall against “the others.”
- foreign diplomacy with Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons.

I’m going to get very, very drunk right?

 +7Posted on Dec 7th, 2011 | re: It Is Almost Crazy How Much Rick Perry Knows What He's Talking About (103 comments)

“I’m Rick Perry and I approve this message” is where he really lost me.

 +3Posted on Nov 18th, 2011 | re: The Ricki Lake Show Is Returning To Television (10 comments)

Never heard of him.

 +5Posted on Nov 18th, 2011 | re: Finally, Rampage: The Movie (36 comments)

Can Rampage the movie actually just be 120 minutes of Louis CK and Donald Glover playing Rampage the video game?

 +33Posted on Nov 17th, 2011 | re: George Clooney Wouldn't Be A Good Father, But WHY? (25 comments)

I don’t get it. Does George Clooney not know how to drink all of the vodka and not come to my baseball games?

 +5Posted on Nov 17th, 2011 | re: Ricky Gervais Proves There Is No God By Returning As Golden Globes Host (65 comments)

I wish Ricky Gervais would disappear so I wouldn’t have to keep forgetting how to pronounce his last name.

 +1Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (20 comments)

The Wegman’s logo used to be similar to that, especially when they ran it in green, like they would often do on their seasonal magazines that I do not have stored in a drawer in my kitchen.

They also used to run just the script “W” in a circle like that, but they have actually stopped using that logo altogether because of a settlement with Walgreen’s, because: corporations.

When did I become so old that ads about me stopped making reference to Star Wars?

 +7Posted on Aug 23rd, 2011 | re: EARTHQUAKE CAUGHT ON TAPE (34 comments)

I was hoping for a Lostian twist where the guy actually caused the earthquake to occur by playing the guitar.

 +10Posted on Aug 23rd, 2011 | re: Earthquake Hits Virginia, New York, and DC. Eli Roth: First Responder. (28 comments)

I can’t believe how many of my Facebook friends are professional seismologists.

 +9Posted on Aug 23rd, 2011 | re: This Is Just A Good World Record (19 comments)

Well they’ve certainly set the record for patting each other on the cheeks with slices of pizza anyway.

 +14Posted on Aug 22nd, 2011 | re: Surprise Twist Ending In Scary Spider Video (34 comments)

Charlotte’s Webcam?