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 +6Posted on Jan 10th, 2014 | re: This Week In Comedy Open Thread (25 comments)

Oh man, yes. We have a statue of a raccoon (tanuki) in our front yard and its name is now officially Little King Trash Mouth. I love him a million times more than I did before last Sunday.

 +6Posted on Jan 10th, 2014 | re: This Week In Comedy Open Thread (25 comments)

When Chang backwalked by with the extra long churro in his mouth, those watching the episode in my house stood up and cheered like Mission Control after hearing Jim Lovell’s voice when Apollo 13 came back down to earth. There were tears and there was rewinding.

Also, what is the 2014 word for “rewinding”?

 +15Posted on Sep 23rd, 2013 | re: Best New Party Game: Autumn Television Shows (42 comments)

Fluffy the Vampire Sweater

 +4Posted on Jun 24th, 2013 | re: Best New Party Game: Even Worse Breaking Bad Taglines (51 comments)

Breaking Bad-dum-bum tish
*jazz hands*

 +1Posted on Aug 8th, 2011 | re: This Is How You Run (30 comments)

Showing real courage, she ran 1.2 meters. Everyone is a winner. Press space to restart.

 +4Posted on Aug 5th, 2011 | re: Wait, Do We Have To Like Seth MacFarlane Now? (26 comments)

If you wish to make a reboot of Cosmos from scratch you must first invent a talking animal sidekick.

 +7Posted on Aug 3rd, 2011 | re: Best New Party Game 57: Birthday Movies (155 comments)

The Womb

(“you are bearing me a son, Lisa!”*)

*Gabe, I hope your mom’s name is Lisa

 +2Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: Gabe And Max Like The Internet: Episode 9 (21 comments)

In humble reply:

 +17Posted on May 6th, 2011 | re: Gabe And Max Like The Internet: Episode 2 (26 comments)

I feel like if Tom Haverford and Duke Silver had a very attractive baby, it’d be Gabe.

Ferrelly shocked by this. Didn’t reilly see it coming.

Thanks so much. She was seriously the coolest cat. Played tag and fetch and slept outside my daughter’s door to guard her at night. Thought she’d fit in well among all the other rad looking baby creatures.

This is my cat. She died last night and I figured putting her here would be as honorable of a memorial as I could get. She enjoyed bags and Topher Grace.

 0Posted on Feb 2nd, 2011 | re: Tom Hanks Animals (52 comments)

Anglers and Demonfish

 0Posted on Feb 2nd, 2011 | re: Tom Hanks Animals (52 comments)

Joe vs. the Volcanmole

 +17Posted on Jan 28th, 2011 | re: The Videogum "Tracy Morgan Promise": TNT Apologizes (37 comments)

I saw a pack of Sarah Palins take over and successfully run a Wendy’s!

 +1Posted on Jan 24th, 2011 | re: Sausage Pork Beef Cheese Whole Milk Butter Margarine Nuts (63 comments)

Is this the one where Marcel gets kicked off?

Rubber lips sink ships.

 +4Posted on Dec 14th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Ye Olde Spidere-Mane (136 comments)

In my heart, this comment has already won.

 +12Posted on Nov 4th, 2010 | re: You Can Make It Up: Evi And Randy Quaid Are Hollywood Refugees (35 comments)

Brilliant, Gabe. Soon, Randy and Evi will fill a shopping cart with their meager belongings and set off along the road, heavy with ash in the fading gunmetal light.

 +70Posted on Oct 15th, 2010 | re: This Is Just A Good Headshot (59 comments)

“Alright, Daryl,” Daryl said to himself, “This is the big time. You’ve got a super-professional postcard from that awesome photo shoot you had right after eating cherry popsicles. You can do this! Okay, let’s write EARNEST…you are earnest! And…well, you don’t have room to write ‘and’…let’s just use one of those ampersands. Here we go…down, around and…oh no, that looks like a heart. Daryl, that’s a HEART! Damn you, Daryl! You’ve ruined everything! This is your only postcard! Screw it, let’s just distract them by saying you’re a rapist.”

Aaaand scene.

That whole clip was actually taken word for word from my last family Thanksgiving.

 +9Posted on Oct 1st, 2010 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread: I Want To Rub Purell On My Brain (163 comments)

I’m just chilling, scrolling scrolling til I see Mondo. Hey Mondo! Looking sharp, looking sharp…down the shirt, hit the belt, still good. No problems here, sir…scrolling, scrolling….WHOA GUY THIGH, GUY THIGH! BABY GUY THIGH!

That said, I do love Mondo. From the middle of his baby guy thigh up.

 +3Posted on Sep 29th, 2010 | re: Best New Party Game 32: Autumn Movies (250 comments)

Prince of Burrrrsia

 +31Posted on Sep 29th, 2010 | re: Classic Brooklyn: Croudsourced Hackers 15-Year Anniversary Party (66 comments)

I first saw this movie when I was thirteen, and my whole life goal after that was to BE A HACKER. Unfortunately, there were no books in the library about hacker career choices so I eventually went back to just playing Star Wars simulations games in AOL chat rooms. Further unfortunately, I was even kicked out of those games because my sister kept picking up the phone and disrupting the sim. Ah, junior high.

Cue the Charlie Brown music (but techno it up because deep down inside, I still want to hack the world, too.)

 +8Posted on Sep 27th, 2010 | re: A Sponsored Tribute To Zach Galifianakis (38 comments)

Yeah, sorry about that. It’s my friend’s old blog (I just liked the name.) The pseudonymity of videogum is too delicious to pass up. I also like to imagine that everyone’s avatar is a real life picture. Mmm. Huckabeast.