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iwasthinkingaboutsoup
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If you wish to make a reboot of Cosmos from scratch you must first invent a talking animal sidekick.
The Womb
(“you are bearing me a son, Lisa!”*)
*Gabe, I hope your mom’s name is Lisa
In humble reply:
I feel like if Tom Haverford and Duke Silver had a very attractive baby, it’d be Gabe.
Ferrelly shocked by this. Didn’t reilly see it coming.
Thanks so much. She was seriously the coolest cat. Played tag and fetch and slept outside my daughter’s door to guard her at night. Thought she’d fit in well among all the other rad looking baby creatures.
This is my cat. She died last night and I figured putting her here would be as honorable of a memorial as I could get. She enjoyed bags and Topher Grace.
Anglers and Demonfish
Joe vs. the Volcanmole
I saw a pack of Sarah Palins take over and successfully run a Wendy’s!
Is this the one where Marcel gets kicked off?
Rubber lips sink ships.
In my heart, this comment has already won.
Brilliant, Gabe. Soon, Randy and Evi will fill a shopping cart with their meager belongings and set off along the road, heavy with ash in the fading gunmetal light.
“Alright, Daryl,” Daryl said to himself, “This is the big time. You’ve got a super-professional postcard from that awesome photo shoot you had right after eating cherry popsicles. You can do this! Okay, let’s write EARNEST…you are earnest! And…well, you don’t have room to write ‘and’…let’s just use one of those ampersands. Here we go…down, around and…oh no, that looks like a heart. Daryl, that’s a HEART! Damn you, Daryl! You’ve ruined everything! This is your only postcard! Screw it, let’s just distract them by saying you’re a rapist.”
Aaaand scene.
That whole clip was actually taken word for word from my last family Thanksgiving.
I’m just chilling, scrolling scrolling til I see Mondo. Hey Mondo! Looking sharp, looking sharp…down the shirt, hit the belt, still good. No problems here, sir…scrolling, scrolling….WHOA GUY THIGH, GUY THIGH! BABY GUY THIGH!
That said, I do love Mondo. From the middle of his baby guy thigh up.
Prince of Burrrrsia
I first saw this movie when I was thirteen, and my whole life goal after that was to BE A HACKER. Unfortunately, there were no books in the library about hacker career choices so I eventually went back to just playing Star Wars simulations games in AOL chat rooms. Further unfortunately, I was even kicked out of those games because my sister kept picking up the phone and disrupting the sim. Ah, junior high.
Cue the Charlie Brown music (but techno it up because deep down inside, I still want to hack the world, too.)
Yeah, sorry about that. It’s my friend’s old blog (I just liked the name.) The pseudonymity of videogum is too delicious to pass up. I also like to imagine that everyone’s avatar is a real life picture. Mmm. Huckabeast.
That’s superkind, dude. Thanks!
Aw, thanks for the sympathygum. It’s okay, really. I rewrote the whole damn thing and added vampires and werewolves and pogs and Demi Lovato so I should be rolling in dough any minute now.
Here’s kind of a funny story:
I write books for a living. I wrote one for which I was incredibly excited and an editor took it on, saying, “You should read ITS KIND OF A FUNNY STORY” because this sounds exactly like that book. So I read it and, funny story, my book was almost exactly like ITS KIND OF A FUNNY STORY. So, ha ha, after three years of painstakingly writing said book, I threw it out because it was already a bestseller written by someone else.
That said, I will see this movie. Because I am currently unemployed and have nothing better to do.
Give it two more weeks and you could totally beat it.
Showing real courage, she ran 1.2 meters. Everyone is a winner. Press space to restart.