The slope from Barack to The Rock is mighty slippery, my marsupially-inclined friend.

Also, something something if Rocko can’t even win an election for dogcatcher, etc.:

Purrrrrrfect…. I shall send them gifs! Gifs of their daughters’ favorite pop icon kissing the voice of their daughters’ & sons’ favorite animated fish.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, &c.

I know, right? Oh Minnesnowta. They’re going to test my faith in their awesomeness in November, too, when they vote on that ri-DIC-ulous anti-marriage referendum. Let’s defeat it, guys & gals! Ugh. I guess this means I should prooooobably come out to my family and then convince them to vote against it.

In honor of E-Dawg, I’ll do it in a JC Penney.

Guys!!
Probably nobody is going to read this, BUT: I literally just watched Die Antwoord perform on The Late Show with David Letterman, and it was the most AWKWARD THING EVER! Dave did not know what to do when he shook Yolandi Visser’s hand and she had these freaky-ass giant black-lens contacts in her eyes. Also the audience was completely weirded out since they’re like 90% tourists from Nebraska.

Oh, thank god Craig is on now. He’ll make everything better.

In spite of some bumps along the way, this episode of SNL had me J/K ROWFLING all night!

(Off I go, then.)

Without question the shih-tzu skit made me laugh the hardest (though when he first rolled out there something about the costume was unsettling, nigh terrifying).

But I’ve never seen a sketch make better use of the British/American dialectic, where the Brit says something ridiculous and deadpan, the incredulous American takes it at face value, and the Brit proceeds to exasperatedly point out that yes, he was being sarcastic. God, they are so GOOD at that! (Or maybe this is just what happens to me all the time.)

A little downbeat for mariachi, no? It’s like the whale’s being played off after losing on a Mexican game show.