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His dad is a Muppet, right?
OMG MICHEAL FASSBINDER. He was AMAZING as Mr. Magnetic in The X-Man’s First Class! And Seth Rogan was awesome in We’re Pregnant with an Illigitimate Child!
There also isn’t enough talk about their childhoods being raped. Buzzfeed loves talking about the rape of childhood. In fact, that’s another buzzfeed list they should have had. “25 things that raped my childhood.”
Hm. The McSweeny’s Buzzfeed list needs more superlatives. “Amazing,” “Incredible,” and especially “Mind Blowing.” Buzzfeed editors think everything will blow our minds.
If this theater owner’s account is accurate, I think I’m the most disturbed by the audience member whose response to “what do you want to talk about?” was “rape.” Like, did he leave for the show saying, “Brah, I hope Tosh does some rape jokes. I can’t get enough of those!”? That’s messed up.
“I hope I rape someone later. Fist bump, bro. Let’s sword fight with our dongs.” Or whatever. I don’t know what bros talk about. Tazing people? Don’t taze me, bro?
“I can’t tell you anything about the VP process. You know that, Neil. Now why don’t you make like a tree and leave?”
Do you get it?! You guys get it.
I mean, I guess it’s probably Breaking Bad. Any regular reader of this web-site could guess that. Or even click the link to find out! But I prefer to keep it vague. Like, “Our team made the championship!” and “I haven’t been the same since the accident.”
I like how you didn’t say what show is the season premiere. Like, “The big season premiere is coming up, so I have to keep my weekend clear.” So vague!
Tosh.0 sucks, but I don’t think anything could make me miss Carlos Mencia.
Oh cool. Someone managed to capture how awful instant-gram is in a rap song. It’s what we’ve all been clamoring for!
I saw Tom Wilson’s standup one time. During the show, he rapped on my head and said, “Hello? Anyone in there? Think, Michael, think!” It was the best.
YES. Just keep it a secret between us, though!
Best Slow Motion Exit with Background Explosion.
You guys, I missed the whole night because I went to this thing where Nick Offerman stood on stage and gave everyone his ten tips for living a meaningful life. It was really weird! But pretty amusing and funny, and he lead us all in a chorus of “5000 Candles in the Wind.”
Yeah, when my Comcast-brand dvr didn’t record the second episode two weeks ago, I was so angry! Moreso because Jenna’s “Weird”-Al-proof song was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time, and I can’t rewind it over and over again. Now I barely remember how it went. :[
I plan on watching The Running Man to celebrate the release of The Hungry Games: The Movie.
I’m hoping for a Three Stooges spinoff of Larry David’s nun.
You guys, last night I had a zombie nightmare, and in it, Shane went out and got a pizza from somewhere (the last open pizzeria in Zombieville, I guess) and didn’t even share it with anyone!
Fax this joke to 2009.
Is A Solitary Laugh a thing A Solitary Man does? It would make sense for A Single Man, but I wouldn’t expect it if he were A Serious Man.
Driving Mr. Miss Daisy?
Leap Dave Williams!
When they started watching Friday Night Lights and I heard the theme song, I thought, “I should stop this show and watch Friday Night Lights.” But then I didn’t. I’m all talk.