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heisenberg
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 -47Posted on Jan 18th, 2013 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (53 comments)

RE lowest rated comment: I realize the associate editor has to write something but go fuck yourself you judgmental cunt.

 +6Posted on Jan 18th, 2013 | re: Uh, Let's Listen To Bukowski Talk About His Worst Hangover (23 comments)

Worst hangover story or best suicide story?

I subscribe to the Fight Club airport scene dildo etiquette. Never imply ownership. Use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

 +22Posted on Jan 17th, 2013 | re: The Perfect Crime: Sleeping In The Iowa City Library (65 comments)

Shuck your own corn mom and dad. I’m dying my hair teal and taking a nap in the library.

Candle In The Wind for generation douchebag.

 -12Posted on Jan 14th, 2013 | re: "I Have The Wine" By Johnny Cash (26 comments)

A heavyset woman of color not familiar with the Johnny Cash songbook sounds about right. It’s not like she flubbed an Anita Baker clue.

 +23Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 | re: Merry Christmas From Courtney Stodden (50 comments)

 +5Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 | re: The Perfect Crime: Mouthful Of Ice Cream Bandit (23 comments)

Straight out of a Trailer Park Boys episode.

 -11Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 | re: "Man Finds Jesus On Tortilla" Story Is Perfect (21 comments)

What has 5 balls and rapes Mexicans? THE LOTTERY

 +4Posted on Dec 18th, 2012 | re: Arnold's Very Special Christmas Party (12 comments)

I think Gabe just got away with making a retard joke.

 +6Posted on Dec 17th, 2012 | re: It's The Most Wonderful Jay Leno Rumors Of The Year (22 comments)

Fuck Leno and Fallon. I want Late Night With Louie for Christmas.

 +1Posted on Dec 14th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (46 comments)

Pacific Rim is a good porno title too if you like Asian ladies.

 +1Posted on Dec 14th, 2012 | re: Questions For Jennifer Aniston's New Wax Statue (13 comments)

Only a matter of time before some prankster glues on a wax prosthetic and restores the statue’s nose to Leprechaun era Aniston.

http://i.imgur.com/on36v.jpgeprican

 +22Posted on Dec 14th, 2012 | re: Bradley Cooper's Rumored Hair Loss OR Animals Dressed Like Santa? (50 comments)

Lets meet in the middle with bald animals dressed like Santa.

 +6Posted on Dec 14th, 2012 | re: Cut Loose Everybody, It's Friday! (14 comments)

WTF is going on with this goddamn outfit?

 +3Posted on Dec 13th, 2012 | re: Dancing Alone To Pony Circa 2012 (13 comments)

Watch it on mute and this is creepy. The kid moves like a demonic marionette.

 +14Posted on Dec 13th, 2012 | re: This Is Just A Good Picture Of A Baby (27 comments)

This is just a big fuck you to third world babies.

 +5Posted on Dec 13th, 2012 | re: The 2013 Golden Globe Nominations (57 comments)

Good early news on Django Unchained I guess but a Big Bang Theory nomination makes me suspect.

 +9Posted on Dec 13th, 2012 | re: A Quick Lesson In Headbutting (20 comments)

A CHALLENGER APPEARS

 +29Posted on Dec 12th, 2012 | re: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer? (118 comments)

I found a pic. It kinda looks like James Franco’s mustache.

 +5Posted on Dec 12th, 2012 | re: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer? (118 comments)

Lets cut the crap and find some de-pixelated pictures of this wardrobe malfunction.

 +5Posted on Dec 12th, 2012 | re: How To Get A Trademark Benedict Cumberbatch Stomach (27 comments)

7… Minute… Abs.

 +1Posted on Dec 11th, 2012 | re: "The Stanley Steamer Variations" Is A Brief Vision Of Hell (43 comments)

I’d rather watch a Cleavland steamer variations video.

 +9Posted on Dec 11th, 2012 | re: Congratulations To Rob Kardashian On The Launch Of His Sock Line!!!!!!!!! (30 comments)

$30 a pair at Neiman Marcus. Sofia Vergara is on the phone this morning getting to the bottom of why her crap is selling at Kmart.

 +3Posted on Dec 11th, 2012 | re: Kid, You've Got What It Takes (14 comments)

If I was Larry David I would give this kid a sewing machine for his birthday.