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 +5Posted on Aug 23rd, 2012 | re: That's Your Dark Knight Tattoo: This Dark Knight Tattoo (22 comments)

Tattoos like this happen so that we “CANL EARN” the art of spacing.

 +13Posted on Aug 16th, 2012 | re: America, There Is A New Brain-Damaged Film Auteur For You To Love (31 comments)

“You’re tearing me apart, Hawaiian Courts!”

 +10Posted on Jul 19th, 2012 | re: The 2012 Emmy Nominations (85 comments)

Obviously the comedy categories are mostly awful, but the drama categories are good. And Glee didn’t get nominated for anything did it? Progress. Also, YAY AMY POEHLER! But someone already mentioned that The Wire never won an Emmy, so we can all agree they are bullshit.

 +9Posted on Jul 12th, 2012 | re: Headline Of The Day: "Angelina Jolie's Dad Defends Brad Pitt's Mom" (14 comments)

It’s pretty much the only way I knew he was a person alive on the planet. He’s very likeable in a Mr. Roger’s sort of way! My new favorite Pitt, in fact.

 +13Posted on Jul 12th, 2012 | re: Headline Of The Day: "Angelina Jolie's Dad Defends Brad Pitt's Mom" (14 comments)

I think Jane Pitt was just trying to win the conservative vote for Best Pitt. Obviously she’s getting Voight’s vote. I am still voting for Doug and his khakis.

 +1Posted on Jun 29th, 2012 | re: Q: Does Tom Cruise Get Nightingale Poo Facials? (27 comments)

This nightingale poop obviously ruined a very solid marriage that was not at all manufactured or weird. Because Katie filed for divorce today, and that’s the only reason I can come up with. #glib

 +16Posted on Jun 21st, 2012 | re: BREAKING: J.R.R. TOLKEIN RIPPED OFF HARRY POTTER! (65 comments)

This reminds me of the Bieber fan who said Justin is cooler than Kurt Cobain because he has more Twitter followers. She has a point. When are ghosts going to start utilizing social media to address the critiques of the public? Do a Reddit AMA already Tolkein and Cobain!

 +7Posted on Jun 15th, 2012 | re: Seth MacFarlane Once Again Compares Family Guy To Civil Rights (39 comments)

Why won’t the Sands let Seth MacFarlane inside their casino? When will the NAACP finally recognize all Seth has done? Why haven’t we elected him POTUS and given him all of the things yet? Why do we keep discriminating against Seth MacFarlane??? NoH8 guys. NoH8.

 +20Posted on Jun 7th, 2012 | re: IS New Girl The First Post-Post-9/11 TV Show? (33 comments)

The New Girl is the post-post Damon Wayans show in that it exists after recasting the character first played by the offspring of the first Damon Wayans.

 +10Posted on Jun 4th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Snow White And The Huntsman (84 comments)

I think I’m doing baths wrong. Got milk?

 +7Posted on Jun 4th, 2012 | re: Game Of Thrones Season 2 Finale Open Thread (148 comments)

He’s probably the reason all of this is happening. Out throwing rocks at zombies and arousing their ire. Get in the fucking house, Carl!

 +11Posted on May 29th, 2012 | re: Game Of Thrones Open Thread (100 comments)

“The men will bleed out there and you will bleed in here.” Good talk. Sloshed Cersei 2012

 +15Posted on May 21st, 2012 | re: Dan Harmon Replaced As Community Show Runner (83 comments)

The cast and writers seem to be pretty bummed that he’s gone, so he couldn’t have been the biggest asshole who’s ever assholed. I’m sure the NBC and Sony executives weren’t enamored with him b/c they are the ones he had to fight to have his creative vision realized every week. But all that stuff is irrelevant to me as a fan of the show. With Dan Harmon gone, Community has lost its weird, unique voice which was its greatest asset. There is plenty of talent still connected to the show, but it’s the weird I want. Darkest timeline.

 +22Posted on May 15th, 2012 | re: Game Of Thrones Open Thread (142 comments)

Jaime Lannister is the Sawyer of GoT. He’s spent most of the season in a cage. He’s all snarky and cocky even when he’s being threatened with death/torture. He’s got the nicknaming down with “Beast”. He strangled someone to death with chains. So, he was pretty much my favorite this episode.

 0Posted on May 14th, 2012 | re: FIRST LOOK: Ashton Kutcher As Steve Jobs (32 comments)

Things a genius (Steve Jobs) as played by Ashton Kutcher can be expected to say: “Dude, I have to poop!!!”

That baby Mensa from the Today Show knows what I’m talkin’ bout.

I live in NC. Nobody throw anything at me! I voted against the amendment and also believe in separation of church and state and evolution and stuff! I actually do respect Obama for taking a stand, even at this late date, because I can’t imagine it’s gonna help him in the swing state of NC (ironic) come November. Yes, it’s depressing that civil rights are even an issue, but some of us really needed this today. It was a horrible yesterday.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to making out with my cousin, Jethro. Don’t worry. He’s not a double first cousin. That’s the only kind of cousin that it’s illegal to marry here because that would be gross.

 +2Posted on May 8th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Jon Hamm Meets LMFAO (60 comments)

“Limit your exposure.”

 +9Posted on May 4th, 2012 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (56 comments)

Since no one else has said it yet….


 +4Posted on May 2nd, 2012 | re: Damon Lindelof Hints That Lost May Return, BUT HOW? (47 comments)

Crash Plane.

 +3Posted on Apr 30th, 2012 | re: Mad Men: Joan Isn't Just Like Everybody Else (62 comments)

The execution of the pitch to Heinz was flawless, but the concept itself was corny. What do the Flintstones and the Jetsons have in common? Beans, stupid! Some things never change. Kinda surprised Don liked it so much. Guess it’s better than “Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart…”

 +3Posted on Apr 30th, 2012 | re: Summer Jam 2012: "The Baddest" - Krispy Kreme (53 comments)

This is so “Hot Now”. (Krispy Kreme reference up in this bitch!) You know how Diddy Puff Sean Daddy Combs had that butler that shielded him from the sun with an umbrella? That’s what’s going on here with the silent rifle-holding boy, right? He’s the butler. That holds the guns. And counts all the 400s of things.

 +3Posted on Apr 18th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Sad Robert Downey Jr. (110 comments)

Yikes! I have that same doll. My grandma gave it to me. But even as an angsty 8 year old I never took her off the display stand to have a cuddle. The era she depicts is the early 1900′s, so props to him for keeping her ankles discreetly covered, thus avoiding a potentially embarrassing situation for everyone involved.

 +14Posted on Mar 28th, 2012 | re: Who Should Be Our Generation's Darrin Stephens? (43 comments)

Bobby Draper for the win.

 +13Posted on Mar 19th, 2012 | re: The Walking Dead S02E13: Season Finale (160 comments)

There is utter chaos, people are getting their faces chewed on, the barn is burning, but don’t worry. Carl made it out with that goddamn stupid hat.

 +5Posted on Mar 19th, 2012 | re: Finally A BELIEVABLE Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Backstory (32 comments)

C’mon Bay. Don’t make them aliens. Make them vegan hipsters! Michelangelo was into nun-chucks before they were cool. Either way, we know you’re making April a dumb slut. You’re the worst.