No, Thank YOU for your eloquent, thoughtful, meaningful comment. For me, at least, it was an incredibly valuable contribution to the discussion.
That rumbling in the earth you all just felt was Mary Wollstonecraft, Susan B. Anthony, Emmeline Pankhurst, Emily Wilding Davison, Virginia Woolf, Simone de Beauvoir, Bella Abzug, Betty Friedan, Audre Lorde, and Adrienne Rich SIMULTANEOUSLY rolling over in their graves.
Oddly enough, Nightcharm just published a little post titled What Does a Gay Porn Screenplay Look Like and… it was actually sort of interesting. [NevenalittlebitSFW, natch]
Today is my birthday! I’m turning 35, which is incomprehensible, especially because the last, let’s say, five years have been a string of disappointments and failures for me, leaving me feeling useless. I had big goals when I was in my twenties! Now I feel I have accomplished nothing meaningful or lasting in any area of my life. I haven’t even had a real job since 2010.
So anyway I was prepared to have a pensive and reflective birthday, rather than a “happy” birthday as such, but my body had other plans — after feeling completely fine yesterday I woke up this morning with some sort of flu or monster cold or something. I have felt simply wretched all day, lying in bed and drinking tea and broth, which sounds sort of fun I guess, but actually wasn’t. I think this may be my worst birthday since the day I turned 5 in 1982, which was mostly spent in an emergency room getting stitches in my head.
And THEN i got an email from my doctor, informing me that, for the *first time* since I was diagnosed with HIV three and a half years ago, my T-cell count is finally above 200. This is great news!! It means I can theoretically stop taking my antibiotics, which I’ve been swallowing every day for all these years (as prophylaxis against pneumonia). Being on antibiotics for more than three years just doesn’t seem right, y’know? My HIV has never really made me sick in any serious way, except right when I was first diagnosed; it honestly hasn’t been that big a deal in my life. But 200 T-cells is the (arbitrary) threshold that the CDC has decided on — below 200 and you officially “have AIDS.” It’s been a frustrating and frankly a little scary thing to have hanging over me all this time.
So to recap: I turned 35, I got the flu, and I got some good news about the strength of my compromised immune system. Let’s rate the day as “mixed.”
My choice to direct Star Wars: Episode VII is Zombie Kurosawa.
HEY it’s my first monster’s ball too! Not counting that one time Gabe called me out anonymously during l’affaire Charlize Theron, which we can now completely put behind us forever! Gabe, you totally ARE the best, except for that one time when you weren’t the best, but now you’re totally the best again hooray!! [tutukulatu's blingee times one thousand!!!]
COME BACK ANNE HATHAWAY ALL IS FORGIVEN.
I understand your suspicion about the airlift, but allow me to clarify. Here is a map of Bethel, Alaska:
Please note that THERE ARE NO ROADS INTO OR OUT OF BETHEL WHATSOEVER. For real. The choice was either put the garbage-food on a helicopter, or float the garbage-food up the river on a barge, and the latter would take weeks.
And just to be clear, the BSA probably (maybe?) *does* in fact have a constitutional right to discriminate, against black people or gays or jews or whatever. Or maybe they don’t? How the hell should I know? I’m not a lawyer! My point was that the fact they were willing to spend thousands and thousands of dollars to DEFEND their (perfectly legal? constitutional? I don’t care?) **right to discriminate** in front of the Supreme Court reveals what kind of an organization they are. That is: they are a discriminatory organization, and they are proud of it. They deserve exactly as much respect as we give other discriminatory institutions in this society. Which is to say, little or none.
Hey you guys! I feel like Gabe and Kelly and commenters have all forgotten that one time when the Boy Scouts of America actually went to the SUPREME COURT to argue for their RIGHT to discriminate against gay people. Learn it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_Scouts_of_America_v._Dale
I mean, it’s one thing for an individual to be prejudiced about gays, it’s another thing for an *institution* to be prejudiced about gays, it’s yet a third thing to **argue in front of the Supreme Court of the United States** that you have a constitutional right to discriminate against gays. Among the BSA’s genius arguments, which 5 of the 9 justices agreed with, is that the “Scout Law” states that a scout is “clean” and “morally straight,” and gays can’t be clean or moral, therefore gays can’t be scouts. QED!
But seriously, fuck the Boy Scouts, and fuck any parent who allows their sons to join such a despicable organization.
HEY so I’m way late to this dance party, but you guys really need to realize that these ladies AREN’T RUSSIAN. Well, I mean, I guess they’re Russian citizens, but they aren’t singing in Russian — the lyrics are in UDMURT, a non-Indoeuropean language distantly related to Finnish and Hungarian. From wikipedia:
A member of the ensemble stated what some parts of the song mean in English: “We sing about lighting the oven, kneading dough, and spreading out a tablecloth while waiting for the children to come home. And we say when our children come home, we will have fun and dance.”
Not a single person in that audience can understand what the Grandmas are singing about. I mean, except for the “C’mon and dance” part…
This was also my first thought. Our idea is the BEST. Even better than Tilda!
This is the exact comment, word for word, that I was about to leave.
Alive, yes… “well” might be stretchting things a bit.
Regarding how nice it is when the presenters just read the names and it all goes by quickly, it is worth remembering that the First Annual Academy Awards, on 16 May, 1929, lasted 15 minutes. And it cost $5.00 to get in. (Which is like $63 in today’s money?)
It’s even more amazing on the big screen. When you’re high. Or so I’ve heard.
Also in this sequence: Steve Guttenberg’s hefty package and shapely butt on display in tight white jeans. I KNOW.
Oh hey guys wait THIS is the clip I meant to link to:
It’s four minutes of a *very* fresh-faced Steve Guttenberg (looking sorta Andy Samberg-hot, y/n?) rollerskating through New York to a disco beat. And if it doesn’t make you happy for the rest of the day, then we really can’t be friends.
He was also in CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC.
Ha HA! All you obsessive commenters, bragging about your EGOTs and what-not, how many of you have been called out by Gabe anonymously in the Monster’s Ball?? Not many, I’d guess!!
Wertrew, take a memo: on the “called out anonymously by Gabe” leader board, Grrg is NUMBER ONE.
LOL, LOL, LOL.
Oooh and i got CALLED OUT BY GABE for saying it! LOL.
Are you seriously calling me a moron? I got downvotes for saying this above, but I repeat: I really thought Videogum was better than this.
“I find it so interesting that chunky sweaters went from being like the most unfashionable grandpa-wear ever, to being an avant-garde, Stefano-Pilati-at-Dior-Homme sort of item, to a basically mainstream clearance-rack-at-the-Gap garment, all in the space of like five years”
—John Goodman in my imaginary version of The Big Lebowski