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“My knee-quirk reaction is to get some Bisquirk Panquirk Mix, but I’m feeling festive, so maybe a Quirkish Game Hen? Oh, me.”

 +2Posted on Jan 3rd, 2013 | re: Puking Robot Is My Favorite Robot (35 comments)

We have the technology…

 0Posted on Oct 4th, 2011 | re: Songs To Watch This Crawling Robot Video To (26 comments)

The robotier they are, the harder they crawl.

 +2Posted on Sep 15th, 2011 | re: Steven Spielberg Regrets Altering E.T. (67 comments)

Steven Spoilberg

 +2Posted on Jul 29th, 2011 | re: Gabe And Max Like The Internet: Episode 10 (23 comments)

TBS™ Very funny, but also next time make sure the microphone on Max is turned on. Something, something, ‘First World Problems’, I’m sure.

Also, “It’s Summer Time!” is a great song.

 +1Posted on Jul 8th, 2011 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (35 comments)

The 5 Day War: The Files Are IN the Computer.

 +2Posted on Jul 1st, 2011 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (47 comments)

FUN FACT! The horse in war horse is based on the horse that Thomas Jefferson Lincoln rode through Old New York while shooting his guns to warn the British that their damn, dirty bells would not be rung, unless they wanted them rung figuratively in that they would be punched in their heads by the Minute Maid Men.

 0Posted on Jun 21st, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Running With Scissors (90 comments)

Oh Gosh, I don’t have time to read this because I have work to do and time doesn’t grow on money or whatever, but I just wanted to say SCREW THIS MOVIE and KUDOS to you, Hard Gabe, for zinging this dumb crappy movie that I hated whilst my friends liked it. Ugh. I hate that I saw this movie.

Medium Viscosity Gabe

 +22Posted on Apr 18th, 2011 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: DVDs Are Not That Fun (78 comments)

Criminals DO love framed dogs though. And lamp.

High level theory crafting, indeed.

 +5Posted on Jan 28th, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (144 comments)

TL;DR, why was everyone crying about this guy’s upskirt video again?

 0Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: So New Kids Are The Die Antwoord Of Holland? Woord. (39 comments)

Comedy Central? So this is the New Kids In The Hall?

 0Posted on Jan 11th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Now With Improved Mythology (113 comments)

I am TBS® Very Happy. about it being here mostly because I suggested it.

Hard Gabe read my post! And he agreed that it isn’t all every teenage emo hairdresser from 2003 said it’s cracked up to be! These sentences make almost TOO much sense!

-Medium Viscosity Gabe

 +7Posted on Jan 3rd, 2011 | re: It Is Time To Stop Sleeping On James Nyte (62 comments)

I totally sent this tip to Gabe a month ago. Way to go GABE. Also, my name is Gabe so I could very well be saying ‘Way to go ME’ (But I am not, I am talking to Hard Gabe [Not to be confused with Soft Gabe]).

Medium Viscosity Gabe

 +12Posted on Nov 22nd, 2010 | re: Is "Whip My Hair" The End Of Keenan? (59 comments)

The Arkeen Fire

 +2Posted on Nov 19th, 2010 | re: By Request: The Reset Button (204 comments)

I’m a little late to this diatribe, but we must also consider that, demographically speaking, residents of New York have a much different cultural perspective than that of middle America, or the West coast where I reside.

Let me paraphrase; New Yorkers may laugh at fantasies about humans killing themselves while others may find that of poor taste.

Sensitivities aside, I honestly think Hard Gabe finds his strong suit in humor of higher brow. In this piece I found nothing funny and felt it edge toward discomfort more than once.

Now let me paraphrase all of the responses to this; “WOOOOOOOOOOOF.” Shut up, internet.

Yours cordially,
Medium Viscosity Gabe

That is to say, he has a VERY large cat on his wall. Alternate LOLCAT references also include:


Here Winwood.

 +4Posted on Nov 16th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: American Beauty (409 comments)


I nominate Garden State for the-Movie-That-All-of-My-Friends-Said-Changed-Their-Lives-When-I-Was-20-but-Was-Really-Just-Pretty-Emo

 +8Posted on Nov 16th, 2010 | re: Denise Crull Is Our Generation's Antoine Dodson (59 comments)

I signed in this morning to my Juno account and FINALLY finished loading this page. Why are you all talking about very relevant things right now? Fanny pack.

 +1Posted on Nov 16th, 2010 | re: Denise Crull Is Our Generation's Antoine Dodson (59 comments)

This is the hardest I’ve laughed today. Thank you.

 +7Posted on Nov 4th, 2010 | re: OK, Shut Up Now, Vince Vaughn (71 comments)


Happy monsters?

 +3Posted on Nov 4th, 2010 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Everyone In This Video Is An Asshole (161 comments)

No, we listen to ICP dummy.

 +7Posted on Nov 3rd, 2010 | re: Amy Sedaris Talks About STDs On The Today Show (46 comments)

So I clicked on the video, expecting to see me some Amy Sedaris when I was literally four minutes into a 14 minute clip of this dude named ‘Boner’ talking about politics before I realized it was NOT Amy Sedaris OR daytime talk show. FOUR MINUTES.

That’s your Amy Sedaris clip.