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ferns
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 0Posted on Dec 19th, 2013 | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (90 comments)

I feel bad for assuming that that is how everyone involved in the show feels, but it really isn’t surprising to me.

I’m also not sure why that got him kicked off the show. Are the people who love that show so upset? Like, I would think that the people that watch that show either agree wholeheartedly with those sentiments (and are therefor un-phased by those comments) or just know what they’re getting into when watching it (and don’t expect or care if all of the cast members are not bigoted in some way).

That’s probably the realest part of that “reality” show anyway – why take it away?

 0Posted on Dec 2nd, 2013 | re: Brainstorming Names For The Batman Vs. Superman Movie (67 comments)

Kryptonian Knights
Superman does Batman
Super Knight Me
The Fattie and the Battie
Superman and the Batman Factory
Batman and the Superman Factory
Broke-Bat Mount-man
My Dinner With Superman and Batman
Waiting for Superman and Batman
Best in Superman and Batman
Blackfish

 +4Posted on Aug 14th, 2013 | re: Tan Mom's New Music Video OR Animals Dressed As Food? (25 comments)

What am I supposed to do with this? Like – I mean – I don’t know what I mean. What? Hello?

 +9Posted on Jun 24th, 2013 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: 146 Human Children Named "Khaleesi" (73 comments)

Calici (pronounced the same way as Khaleesi) is the name of a feline upper-respiratory virus. This is a fact.

 +1Posted on Jan 29th, 2013 | re: Bam Margera - Comedy (รท) Time = Tragedy (24 comments)

If you don’t watch the whole video, you never get to see Bam Margera drink his own urine while he’s pissing it and then spit it out. I would hate for you all to miss out on that part of his story.

I’m also a little mad because I really did not expect it and I feel somewhat assaulted. Like, I know I can say, “I don’t know what I was expecting,” and just leave it at that, because I really don’t know why that’s so weird (given that it’s a song called I want my dick in my ass or whatever I don’t even care) – but this is just so horrible.

I will think of this video every time I see protests in the Middle East. You know he seems pretty fearless – maybe he should go fight a war or something.

 +1Posted on Nov 6th, 2012 | re: Saturday Night Live: Louis C.K. And Fun. (39 comments)

… or how, like, they could have been in black-face and been speaking ebonics. That could have been really offensive too.

Oooo – or if it had been about the holocaust. Or about Mexicans. Those also would have been more offensive.

Weeeeeiiiiiird.

 -1Posted on Sep 14th, 2012 | re: Fred Armisen As Penny Marshall For Penny Marshall (3 comments)

This is the best thing in the world and deserves a bigger videogum feature!

 0Posted on Sep 11th, 2012 | re: Victoria Jackson Is Still Pretty Victoria Jackson-y (49 comments)

I have no earthly idea why I paused my Golden Girls DVD to watch this (it’s the episode where they win $10,000 on a lottery ticket but end up giving the ticket away by mistake), but here we are. If this was the ONLY thing I have seen of Victoria Jackson since “Celebrity” Fit Club, I would think this was a joke. Like, I know it’s a joke, but I mean an intentional joke. Maybe she’s just trolling everyone? Can I pretend that she’s doing some Andy Kaufman-esque, Borat-ish shtick and that she isn’t really insane?

I don’t know, the way she delivers some of the lines makes them sound sarcastic and actually just funny (like when she tries to give evidence of Obama’s communism, or says that Glenn Beck, Mike Huckabee, and Sean Hannity are the only ones who believe her. Particularly the latter just seems like a real joke.

 0Posted on Aug 22nd, 2012 | re: That's Your 55-Year-Old Karaoke Emcee DJ: Diamond Dave (14 comments)

No amount of fake sunglasses, wigs, or an ability to gesticulate with one’s hand while singing (…) can fix what’s wrong here.

 0Posted on Aug 22nd, 2012 | re: That's Your 55-Year-Old Karaoke Emcee DJ: Diamond Dave (14 comments)

Why use an iPod when you can hire someone to do what an iPod can – poorly?

 +1Posted on Aug 10th, 2012 | re: Our TV Is Not The Problem With Our Culture (63 comments)

I hope this gets cancelled mid season so I can use the “Aaaaaaaaand there goes Honey Boo Boo!” joke I wrote.

 0Posted on Aug 10th, 2012 | re: Our TV Is Not The Problem With Our Culture (63 comments)

I just can’t wait until this show is cancelled mid season so I can use my “And there goes Honey Boo Boo” joke I just wrote.

 0Posted on Aug 1st, 2012 | re: Top 10 Reasons NOT To Vote For Barack Obama (77 comments)

This kid is going to grow up so gay. I’m calling it – holla at your boy in at least 12 years, you little dish you.

 +2Posted on Jul 18th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Bane & Company (47 comments)

Where Mitt Romney learned the meaning of back-breaking work.

 0Posted on Jun 7th, 2012 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (20 comments)

The ad they keep showing for the Joe Mande special on Comedy Central has a snippet of a joke about the first person to drink milk. Not to be “that guy”, but it sounds a lot like a joke Sarah Silverman told on her show (the episode where she licks her dog’s butt hole). Is this a conversation even worth re-hashing? Joke retelling versus stealing? I doubt he stole it – but has no one else in his circle of comedian friends seen Sarah’s show? Heard that bit? I might be off track. Am I off track?

 0Posted on Jun 4th, 2012 | re: The 2012 MTV Movie Awards (41 comments)

“Vanilla Ice needs to iron his fucking shirt before he leaves the house.” – my mom if I were Vanilla Ice. Which I am…

 +2Posted on May 21st, 2012 | re: Saturday Night Live: Season Finale (46 comments)

After seeing this episode I, like Ke$ha, will now kick potential suitors to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.

Also, why the hell did it take me until NOW to realize Chris Parnell is my dream man?

Hello? Is this thing on?

 +5Posted on May 8th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Jon Hamm Meets LMFAO (60 comments)

“I don’t know why everyone gave Ina Garten shit. These Make-A-Wish things are a fucking pill.”

 0Posted on Mar 29th, 2012 | re: The Official Song Of The Summer, 2012: The Stack Boys "Snapbacks" (36 comments)

I have five words for these boys. “Stop – you don’t make sense.”

 +3Posted on Mar 20th, 2012 | re: A Respectful Look Behind The Scenes Of Modeling (12 comments)

I was going to comment on this but I just realized that I’m late for “Go this way” practice.

 +7Posted on Mar 16th, 2012 | re: PUNK'D Is OUR Generation's PUNK'D (30 comments)

When Taylor Swift told Justin Bieber he was “the worst,” I smiled.

If only “Shrek” had the same premise.

So is Bill Maher saying that liberals are the only ones that can be upset by gross misogyny?

 +1Posted on Mar 8th, 2012 | re: This Is Just A Good Song About Rick Santorum (61 comments)

God gave the bill of rights? To whom did God give it? We were only letting him borrow it. Why did he give it to someone? What a fucking dick.

Also, FINALLY justice for the unborn. Most important thing right there. Justice. For the unborn. You know – the not yet born. The not yet alive. They aren’t alive yet. And they want justice. They need it. And Rick Shitfroth is going to give it to them.

Necromancer in 2012

 +3Posted on Mar 8th, 2012 | re: Girl Stuff: Joan Rivers' "Shopping For Fitness" Rap (16 comments)

Um – old woman falls into younger large lavender woman at about 1:29. Like, it looks like she legitimately trips and falls into her. It happens right before Joan wipes all the pit-sweat from under her bat wing.

Also, I remember my mom having hair like Joan’s in the 90′s and for a split second, during one of the long shots I swore it was my mom awkwardly “rap dancing” about shopping (as I’m sure it was called back then).