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 +1Posted on Sep 9th, 2011 | re: Friday Giveaway: True Blood Sookie Set (30 comments)

Oh man, the self-righteous, false-virginal attitude and booty shorts are not included?

I will watch anything Britt Daniel is in. He could be in an Iranian hostage video where tens of babies were murdered with Britt Daniel holding the knife and I would watch it because he is the best.

 0Posted on Aug 30th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E10: Bombs Over Shreveport (33 comments)

The location finders ot this show have clearly never been to Shreveport. Our downtown is decrepit, you can buy a decent downtown building for like $200,000 and by “decent” I mean a 10 foot hole in the roof, no windows, and 3 firm walls.

What killed me is that they filmed a bunch of locations for the first season in Shreveport and since then have not been back. There was a vampire nest that somebody burned down in that first season and the house they torched ended up being historically important, they didn’t get the proper permits and I think pretty much everyone had a giant shit fit about it. So this whole, “let’s go firebomb Shreveport” thing is like them joking about the incident and the fervor it caused. I know there’s no connection, but it’s still a jab at a open wound.

 +1Posted on Aug 30th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E10: Bombs Over Shreveport (33 comments)

That’s what I’m saying! I can see the draw of running as a horse, but if I were a shape shifter living in bumfuck Egypt, I’d be an elephant when not at work.

BTW, why does nobody have to show up at their jobs or even have a job on this show? Shouldn’t Sookie be out looking for employment since she got fired by Tommy-Sam? Doesn’t Jesus live in Monroe and have to work 5 days a week? Doesn’t Lafayette have two jobs?

 +4Posted on Aug 22nd, 2011 | re: True Blood S08E09: Werewolf Gang Kill Them All (45 comments)

At least they said it right, “to Shreepor”.

 +4Posted on Aug 22nd, 2011 | re: True Blood S08E09: Werewolf Gang Kill Them All (45 comments)

For real, when Sookie and Eric were obviously in fairy land last week, after the shower of snow, why didn’t they annihilate him? Is it totally cool to kill a fairy godmother now? We know 1/4 or 1/8 or whatever Sookie can kill mean vampires or defend herself against them all on her own with a little light, so why can’t full blooded fairies go around killing all the vampires?

 +11Posted on Aug 22nd, 2011 | re: True Blood S08E09: Werewolf Gang Kill Them All (45 comments)

I live in Shreveport and when I heard about the tolerance festival all I could imagine is some kind of “pray the tolerance away” festival where hatred of others is tolerated.

Also, the hand blisters were the best, cracked me up so bad, and yes, we do have oven mitts in Shreveport.

 +5Posted on Aug 19th, 2011 | re: I Wish Kyle Chandler Was My Dad (34 comments)

I wish Kyle Chandler and I could get shit faced at the Salt Lick before diving into the all you can eat buffet of meat. I don’t need him to be my dad, I just want him to be my buddy.

 0Posted on Aug 19th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (19 comments)

This is awful, but I can’t stop thinking of how gigantic Elizabeth’s head looks compared to Zooey and Rashida. She has alien cranium or something.

 +4Posted on Aug 15th, 2011 | re: An Open Letter From The Association Of Black Women Historians To The Help (70 comments)

So many typos! I meant workers fulfilling the “Mammy” role, not just nannies, though as a nanny I watched the kids, drove them around in my boss’s car since I had none of my own, did the shopping, cleaned the house, cooked all the meals and got severely bitched out whenever I disappointed anyone in the family and/or did not live up to expectations. Also, x out ‘sears’ and replace it with ‘dears’.

 +7Posted on Aug 15th, 2011 | re: An Open Letter From The Association Of Black Women Historians To The Help (70 comments)

Shit. I wish someone cared enough about the lives of poor modern day nannies of all ethnicities. Hello, sears, we’re still here, we’re still marginalized, and we still can’t afford to have our own children.

 +2Posted on Aug 15th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E08: Keats And Yeats Are On Your Side (58 comments)

That bugged me too. Didn’t she drink his blood or he drink her blood in like season 2 around the time of the house party in Dallas where (SPOILER ALERT – if anyone cares) Godric died? Something else, didn’t King Bill Compton tell Sookie that if she ever set foot on his property again he’d have her executed or something? The whole Vampire-Baby Jessica being stronger than Vampire-King Bill Compton is still bothering me from last week.

 +9Posted on Aug 15th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E08: Keats And Yeats Are On Your Side (58 comments)

Shreveport has no quality anything unless you count institutionalized racism.

 +4Posted on Aug 15th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E08: Keats And Yeats Are On Your Side (58 comments)

The best part was when Lafayette woke up from his bad dream about the bad acting of the ghost lady and some dude from Southern California who had a bebe together in like 1719062.

 +7Posted on Aug 8th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E07: Silver Me Up! Silver Me Down! (62 comments)

I just want to know the Lafayette short cut that allows one to drive from “20 miles from Shreveport” to Mexico in about 1 hour. I be getting all the prescription meds.

 0Posted on Jul 25th, 2011 | re: Bad Swimmer Dog Reminds Us That It's OK To Fail (15 comments)

I think it’s because this dog is so obese. My in law’s dog can’t swim for the same reason and I saw it on The Internet so it must be true.

 +1Posted on Jul 20th, 2011 | re: James Franco Sold What Now For $10,000? (51 comments)

I have a friend that got an MFA in art from an Ivy League school and now paints squares. They just sucked the talent and vision right out of him. I think he also makes coffee in a Starbucks somewhere in Brooklyn.

 +3Posted on Jul 20th, 2011 | re: James Franco Sold What Now For $10,000? (51 comments)

Blood Meridian? Oh FUCK NO! I will not allow this to happen. If I have to traverse America in search of James Franco, scalping innocents along the way, I will. This cannot stand.

 0Posted on Jul 20th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (39 comments)

They seem to be made for people who need a bunch of dead baby replicas sitting around their house so that the cops don’t find the actual dead babies.

 +11Posted on Jul 19th, 2011 | re: Lady Stuff: Summer's Eve Talking Hand Vagina Ad (66 comments)

Douches. They make the douches that write this stuff at the Summer’s Eve douche factory.

 +2Posted on Jul 18th, 2011 | re: Being Annoying Is Adorable (31 comments)

Why hello, adorable Scion ad! Thank you so much for making my day so much more precious with your incessant need to be up in my grill all the time!

 +5Posted on Jul 12th, 2011 | re: These Kids Are Cute And Good At Dancing, What More Do You Want (23 comments)

Little guy on the right hit it out of the park! I’ll take two, please. Cuanto cuestan?

 0Posted on Jul 12th, 2011 | re: The Zooey Deschanel Vs. The Los Angeles Times Feud Is The Worst Feud (94 comments)

I haven’t been to L.A. in about 15 years, but my family used to visit almost every summer when I was a kid since I have a much older brother who lives there. My personal count is L.A. trips, about 12. Trips to actual downtown L.A. where all the skyscrapers live, 1, and that was by accident.

 0Posted on Jul 12th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E03: The Witches Of Barfwick (27 comments)

Dear True Blood,

Please stop referencing us. Our reputation is bad enough wihtout you. In the future, please substitute our name with “Bossier City”.

Sincerely,

The City of Shreveport

 +2Posted on Jul 7th, 2011 | re: Michelle Bachmann Prays To God To End Health Care Reform, OBVIOUSLY (82 comments)

Soul Asylum played a free concert a block from my apartment about a year ago. I got them confused with Collective Soul and felt very disappointed when I opened my window to hear them singing Runaway Train instead of December.