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Christopher Alexander
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I think they pulled it off some website, hence the top five endangered species. Poorly attributed.
I want to make sure I understand: Ted Williams catching a lucky break was a galling example of the culture eating itself as well as a whitewash of the larger socioeconomic nightmare of homelessness, but Charlie Sheen’s self-destruction, while endlessly replayed on the same shows, is still good for teh lolz? Am I getting this right?
I kinda hope this wins.
Ratchet, I agree completely. Last night’s episode left me so conflicted, because 2/3rds of it was the funniest episode of a consistently hilarious series, but 1/3rd of it made me want to crawl out of my skin. I’m sure the intention was that Pierce being an asshole was just him being an asshole, and his fat jokes weren’t funny because they were despicable; but I mean even for Pierce he was being SUCH A DICK and hateful. I feel like in earlier episodes there was at least something there that motivated him, but even him being resentful for feeling “left out” didn’t warrant THAT much antagonism. I dunno.
It should also be mentioned that my girlfriend and I are trying to lose a few pounds, so maybe I felt more sensitive than the norm.
Here’s my take, since nobody asked or cares, but I’m unemployed, so I have time on my hands:
I think to call this post (and Gabe by extension) “misogynist” is way too strong. Someone he intensely dislikes (to the point of distraction, which I’ll get to in a second) got mildly embarrassed on the internet.. One of his main antagonists did something so embarrassing that the jokes wrote itself. I imagine that if Mel Gibson’s nutsack was hanging out of his Speedo, he’d probably write something about that too. He didn’t even host the picture. Misogynist, it ain’t.
I think what makes a lot of people (myself included) uncomfortable here is why Gabe thought this event was particularly noteworthy in his ongoing crusade to expose Gwyneth Paltrow’s irredeemable shallowness, and why he writes so much about said shallowness in the first place. Earlier posts at least gave pretty good evidence that she’s smug, un self-aware, and has a sort of Marie Antoinette style empathy toward helping her fellow woman; here she wore a skirt that was bit too short and the camera got a bit too close and her underwear rode a bit too far to the left. Britney Spears, it ain’t, either. If someone put a clip on YouTube of Paltrow dropping her venti latte on the ground, one gets the impression that Gabe would gleefully post that with some reference to “Gwyneth and the Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” and silently thank the fates that karma is getting one back.
Which brings us to: who gives a shit about Gwyneth Paltrow, anyway? Why not Cher, or Johnny Depp, or somebody? There are scores of candidates to choose from, and maybe Gabe can snag some of that sweet OK Magazine demographic. Look, this isn’t a plea for civility or positivity or anything: what attracted me to the site was the HFTWMOAT and all those scathing episode recaps of Jersey Shore and Lost and the like. Lost is over, of course, but: he now refuses to watch the Jersey Shore, even though that show still produces far more vile, contemptible, and fascinating behavior from its principals weekly; and it seems like he thinks the Hunt is an albatross around his neck (this last part could be sour grapes on my part, as, since Gabe has rightly pilloried celebrities for trivial problems that the rest of us would love to have, it almost seems like he’s complaining about his paid job writing about pop culture and movies, which sounds pretty fucking great to this unemployed dude with no marketable skills; I should mention that I’m not 1/100th as funny as Gabe is and am woefully unqualified for any similar job, as this rambling parenthesis-heavy post makes clear. BUT STILL). The vicissitudes of one celebrity’s self-parodying life is just not as interesting a substitute. The monster following this site for a while has to wonder where the hell this is coming from, and when it will be over.
In conclusion: TL; DR. Self-Potato.
I thought I was the only one in the world who named my daughter Fartlin.
So this is what it feels like, when doves cry.
See, I can get behind this. I
I mean, maybe it’s just me, since I understand and identify with a lot of the recovery lingo Ted says (and that’s enough of that); but I don’t understand how anyone watches that video of this sincere, emotional, forthright and talented man grateful to catch a break and the opportunity to COOK HIS OWN FOOD IN HIS OWN APARTMENT, only to turn around and say, “but you know, there are still homeless people out there, and those network anchors sure are condescending jerks, and YouTube is still a black hole, and 2012 take us away.”
I would hope that it’s axiomatic Ted Williams didn’t deserve to be homeless because NOBODY deserves to be homeless, and this instance doesn’t wave a magic wand to solve the larger socio-economic problems of homelessness and drug addiction, but come on: it’s a new year, take what you can get that, for however uncomfortable some of the particulars may be, that someone who actually deserved a break caught one in this nonsensical, bewildering world. How did this come back to “the moral of this story is: the internet is still obnoxious?”
To be fair the kid, it’s rather obvious that she’s just spouting whatever her parents told her. To be fair to the parents, it’s rather obvious that they have the brains of twelve-year olds. So it’s a toss-up of awful.
Sadly, Yikes High has perpetual open enrollment.
I too think time has been very kind to Die Harder, though it’s still no match for 1 and 3. Also I thought sequels couldn’t be nominated.
This. This. This.
“I ran Godfather’s Pizza, don’t tell me I need to know anything about Uzbekibekistan to get this country on its feet.” I wish I could put into words how deeply insulting that is.