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 +9Posted on Aug 27th, 2013 | re: Bryan Cranston Will Play Lex Luthor In The Man Of Steel Sequel (53 comments)

 +3Posted on Apr 6th, 2013 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (30 comments)

Oooh! I love Transmet! I hope it kind of holds up well, since we’ve kinda invented/on the verge of mass-producing a lot of things that were purely speculative back then.

 0Posted on Jan 21st, 2013 | re: This Is Just A Good Pizza Review (18 comments)

 +1Posted on Jan 21st, 2013 | re: A Taste Of James Franco's Inauguration Poem, "Obama In Asheville" (23 comments)

I’m sure Franco’s first thought upon finishing this poem was “Charles Simic, eat your heart out.”

I’m wondering who’ll get the coveted Topher Grace Half-time achievement award, and then proceed to make an embarrassing speech.

 +5Posted on Jan 14th, 2013 | re: This Guy Sure Loves VIA Trains! (15 comments)

He had me at Doctor Who toys. #nosarcasmo

Also, is it bad of me to think it was in poor taste that, when she’s reciting the victims’ names, they listed a kid named Jesse before the kid called James?

They lost me at “Family/sister/father/mother”.

 +2Posted on Jan 9th, 2013 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Garrett Hedlund Is Not A Writer (30 comments)

I misread that bit as> “The smiles on their faces are like an enema”.

 +3Posted on Jan 7th, 2013 | re: Gerard Depardieu Is Mr. Cool Passport (44 comments)

The wackiest thing is that (apparently) Gerard got offered to be Siberia’s Minister of Culture.

 +1Posted on Jan 3rd, 2013 | re: Puking Robot Is My Favorite Robot (35 comments)

The *hard* part was building a robot who will have perfect manners and serve wafer-thin mints.

oops, flanny was faster and funnier. Disregard the previous comment.

You can see Gabe is an old soul, since he didn’t simply suggest Zooey take a photo of the recipe on her phone (takes less time than writing it on a piece of paper, plus saves like a rainforest’s worth of trees or something).

She’s abookable.

 0Posted on Jan 3rd, 2013 | re: Puking Robot Is My Favorite Robot (35 comments)

 +5Posted on Jan 3rd, 2013 | re: Oscar Voting Problems! Oscar Voting Problems! Oscar Voting Problems! (16 comments)

I heard this is exactly like the stuff that’s currently going on in the Middle East.

 +15Posted on Jan 3rd, 2013 | re: That's Not Your Girlfriend, Justin Beiber (27 comments)

I think we found someone to replace Roger Ebert and review EVERYTHING.

Never forget.

 +7Posted on Dec 21st, 2012 | re: Pretty Much Every Celebrity Demands A Plan (6 comments)

I kinda imagine these guys gathering at one of their weekly celeb meetups, and the whole scene leading up to the making of this video playing out in the vein of that “LotR” scene:

Jon Hamm: “You have my rugged, authoritative good looks.”
Chris Rock: “And my captivating, optimistic grin!”
Will Ferrell: “And my distracting mustache!”

 +5Posted on Dec 21st, 2012 | re: Making Sherwood Slightly Less Boring (20 comments)

So, someone at CW thought “This ‘Arrow’show is too contemporary and interesting. Anyone know a way we can fix that?”

I know I’ve seen those legs before:

 +1Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 | re: Who Should Play Justin Bieber In The Justin Bieber TV Show?! (32 comments)

More importantly, who will play the crucial role of Pac, Bieber’s hamster?

http://www.u.tv/Entertainment/Animal-rights-row-over-Biebers-hamster/b76c49a4-b897-4df8-973c-338e611b6184

 0Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 | re: The Perfect Crime: Mouthful Of Ice Cream Bandit (23 comments)

 0Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 | re: The Perfect Crime: Mouthful Of Ice Cream Bandit (23 comments)

Police are on the lookout for a man who *cannot* scream for ice cream.

 +2Posted on Dec 18th, 2012 | re: Tom Cruise Has The Right Idea About Hotels (23 comments)

As a kindergartner, I used to run away from the kindergartner when the staff wasn’t looking, and would walk back to my building nearby. Since I was so short, and living on the 13th, top floor, I’d usually enter the elevator (jumping up and down to get it jump-started, since its sensors often wouldn’t register my weight and it wouldn’t move an inch) and tiptoe-jump until I’d reach the 9th floor button, so that I’d only have to walk 4 stories up.

I imagine Tom Cruise to be at least as smart as the kindergartner-me.