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Mark Casey
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We frequently discuss “the calm before the storm” this time of year, when all the shows are gearing up for their season finale-type plotlines and the actual content of the shows is pretty sparse and unfunny. This week was that, for me. Very few laffs. Some real plot points coming down, but none of them particularly funny. Community was probably the best at making me care what happened in the episode, but that’s only because so much DID happen, where almost nothing did in the other shows. So, my conclusion: I love these shows but this week was boring omg I’m sorry I hope they still love me!
This commercial was directed by David Lynch in 1993, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
I already AVOID movie theaters because of texting and similar behaviors reflecting the overbearing self-interest of the modern moviegoer, so sure, why not make it official. Just make a different chain for me that serves beer and cuts off the thumbs of those found texting (Landmark Theaters, take note).
I watched Moneyball this weekend and noticed how he was always eating, which reminded me about how that’s a common schtick for his characters (starting with Ocean’s 11 through today), which made me think “wow! that’d be a great idea for a supercut. I should do it!”
Only then I didn’t because of food and sleep and nerds. But the internet gave it to me because that’s how the internet works these days. The Singularity is here!
At the end, it is revealed that they made this already and it was called City of Angels and it is a perennial favorite for The Worst Movie of All Time.
So…
Lambasting an anonymous jury for taking the fact that they hold someone’s life in their hands seriously… check.
Suggesting that it is an outrage that someone was found not guilty just because most people suspect they did it… check.
SOMEHOW tying it all to the same vaguely conservative political jokes you tell every night as if they two are even remotely related… check.
Sounds like a great night for Jay.
It’s also kind of expected that Louis would take this route, regardless of whether he saw the delivery or even what his *personal* opinion is. Chris Rock did immediately as well, before he knew all of that Tracy said and recanted. Comedians tend to defend each other and “the form” and their right to be offensive to the death, for reasons that, I suppose, are understandable. In MY personal opinion, when I hear Jeff Ross or Jerry Seinfeld or Louis C. K. or Chris Rock make these kinds of excuses for a horrible act, which they have plenty of times before (See: Michael Richards), it just seems so utterly pompous, so cliquey.
It always comes out in some vague “you just don’t understand comedy,” or “their only crime was not being funny,” and it is ever so lame. Gabe is right on the money here — it’s not an offensive joke that makes national headlines. It’s when an aspect of the person’s personality accidentally escapes on stage, and that personality ends up being kind of ugly. This is what happened to Michael Richards and it seeeeems to be what happened to Tracy Morgan. They have a license to offend, yes, but come on–being a comedian does not mean that nothing you say should be taken seriously or criticized. For a group of people who are so quick to state that the comedy stage is not a pulpit, some comedians sure do treat it as though it were sacred.
College: It Never Really Ends.
You don’t understand that it takes courage and vision to look like a zombie? Some might simply say that sickly and demented is in vogue (in-joke!) for upper-crust models, but the genius of Toby is that the second image straight up looks like he was photoshopped into a scene from 28 Days Later.
(New ad campaign: 28 Pradas Later. Better.)
I always thought it was supposed to be bad. Not at the Nicholas Cage level, but it always seemed like part farce to me.
I would really love to see a WMOAT review of Charlie St. Cloud. I haven’t even seen it and I’m positive that the review would have me in stitches.
Feast of Love definitely deserves a hearing in the court of Gabe. It is a terrible, terrible movie. It tries SO HARD to be good, but it’s not. It comes close to “pretentious rich white nonsense,” but that’s not it’s problem. The problem is that it is genuinely terrible storytelling–I dare you to even figure out what is going on in that movie in the third act.
There are only so many comments I can Upvote to keep them from disappearing! I’m only one man, and Wes Anderson’s relatives are legion apparently.
Hey-oh!
I, too, dislike Wes Anderson films for the most part, and I too am very ostracized in this community for those sorts of comments. I feel your pain, but you are not alone! Let us unite against boring films with purposefully unlikeable characters and undersaturated color schemes!
The obvious twist is so obvious that it’s depressing. Clearly they’re going to eventually discover that the desolate planet they are on is, in fact, Earth. They went through some kind of time warp in their spaceship and/or they’re the normal people and HUMANS are the aliens, etc.
What is the most depressing fact of all? Even though this twist is completely obvious based on the premise (I think Ray Bradbury wrote about 12,000 stories that ended that way for children), M. Night (haha) will do it anyway, because whatever, money.
You don’t have to feel weird about it, rskva. As much as we all like to agree with each other, this reviews conclusions are far from self-evident. Garden State has an 86% on Rotten Tomatoes (cue everyone mocking me for referencing a populist aggregator), so this is a far cry from the obvious and cloying awfulness that is The Darjeeling Limited and other nonsense that Gabe somehow compares favorably to this movie.
Even after weeding through the the review’s obvious personal vendettas against Zach Braff and Natalie Portman, the embarrassing misreading of the main character as a successful Hollywood actor (I suppose the opening scene at the chinese restaurant was blocked from memory for being too fake), and the awkward, ongoing defense of Wes Anderson’s biennial trash heaps, you can see that this is a review more about the audience than the material. Don’t take it personally–or maybe do, but don’t take it seriously.
I don’t fully understand the outrage/controversy about his decision to go into rehab. I mean, yes, it’s a contrived story of helplessness and redemption dreamt up and paid for by Dr. Phil’s producers, but I mean, the man’s going into rehab… in an effort to get his life straight… so he can deal with and maintain his new success and not screw up his second chance at life. Isn’t that a good thing? I know America loves nothing more than to get morally outraged, and thus Ted Williams should be a clean and sober angel, but given the fact that he is human and has faults, isn’t this the next best thing?
I don’t get it? Like, is the THIRD Jackass movie in a row really the most interesting and original film of the year? Is this haha-so-funny-movies-are-goofy, or does Gabe’s penchant for nonfiction really skew that far into parody? Admittedly, some good movies are included, but was Step Up 3D really a bigger “oh, they’re just having fun, movies are goofy” win than Ironman 2 or Transformers 3 or whatever? (I am literally asking, because I didn’t see any of them). And also admittedly, 2010 was not a great year for movies. Avatar came out last year and it was still the only movie with any buzz this year, and it was not great in the first place. And admittedly finally, all of the “best movies” tend to come out in December/January bbbbbuuuuutttttttt stilllllllllll… this is weird. I liked it anyway, though!
“Time Desk: The Memoirs of Dean Dangerous”
My favorite part was the end, when they realized the fort had gone too far and they had to pull the Special Failsafe Socks that would bring the whole thing down. Very funny. Very L O S T.
Success!
Hey! Grad students happen to be *very* intelligent. Too intelligent, in fact, which was kind of my point. I regretted the above post almost immediately because the tone is definitely more angry than I actually am. Not sure why it came out that way, aside from Gabe’s challenge that “I don’t care about arguments against this movie because they are patently wrong,” but I do think that it is a poorly done movie with an overt and distracting facade of deeper meaning. I do not, however, think that people who like it are dumb. In fact, I really love the first 25 minutes or so, and the cinematography is beautiful, as is the wonderful slow burn of the pacing. The story and its plotting are what bother me. Quite a bit.
Is this a thing? I think this is a thing, but you don’t see it THAT much…
You know, where a former star is basically being crushed out of existence and then a director “saves” their career and thus pumps up their own resume by being listed as their savior on their Wikipedia page in perpetuity (see: Quentin Tarantino and John Travolta: the success; and Quentin Tarantino and Kurt Russel: The Not Success). Nothing, I don’t think, comes out of the Hollywood press mill unless it’s supposed to, so it’s suspicious to me that BOTH Steven Spielberg and Woody Allen would have fawning “experiences” with Lindsy Lohan IN THE SAME WEEK.
I feel like, outside of Tarantino, Woody Allen tries this gimmick more than anyone else. Scorsese seems to do it sometimes but I think it’s more about latching onto an actor and never letting them go for him. ANYWAY, my point is: this is FAKE and GAY and I agree with Gorgy that it won’t work because Lindsy Lohan isn’t going to return to some former glory; Georgia Rule is as glorious as it was going to get.