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 +8Posted on Mar 15th, 2013 | re: Friday Giveaway: A Bunch Of Star Wars Prize Packs! (36 comments)

“Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?”

 +17Posted on Feb 25th, 2013 | re: Dear Comedy, Just So You Know, You Are Allowed To Apologize (126 comments)

I completely misread that tweet. I thought they called her a “Coat.”

 +10Posted on Feb 19th, 2013 | re: Downton Abbey Season Finale Open Thread (42 comments)

Sponsored comment from Laffy Taffy.

The writing this season hasn’t been as sharp as the last seasons. The show should be called Downton *sigh* Shabby.

Gross, I really should have read through this native advertising contract a bit more thoroughly.

“I tell you what. I’ll do you one better, Kev,” our source heard Leo say after signing off on the check. “You see. I make it a policy to sleep with everyone I take to dinner.” Leo then reportedly locked eyes with Kevin and repeated “Everyone.”

 +5Posted on Dec 12th, 2012 | re: It’s A Bad Brains Christmas, Charlie Brown (14 comments)

This reminds me of that time Cathy led a Minor Threat coverband called Ian Ack-Kaye.

“Hey, Kevin. Didja hear about this guy in Russia who faked his own death as part of an elaborate marriage proposal? Funny, usually guys wait to fake their own deaths AFTER they get married!” — Jay Leno

“Ha! Ha! You right, Jay. You right.” — Kevin Eubanks

 +11Posted on Jul 20th, 2012 | re: Stretch Armstrong: The Movie Is Back On Track! (13 comments)

Lousy Decemner weather.

 +6Posted on Jun 22nd, 2012 | re: Friday Giveaway: Seeking A Friend At The End Of The World Prize Pack (47 comments)

I’m torn between someone who has access to and can pilot some sort of interplanetary craft that would be capable of sustaining life for an incredibly long period of time until we can find a Class-M planet where we could build a new human colony OR someone with big boobs.

 -27Posted on Jun 4th, 2012 | re: Game Of Thrones Season 2 Finale Open Thread (148 comments)

I watch, read and consume a lot of wacky, wacky shit, but I generally draw the line at fantasy. Anyway, I keep waiting to dip my toe into the Game of Thrones pool, based on all of the buzz. However, that banner pic basically confirms my worst fears.

 +17Posted on May 16th, 2012 | re: Morning Self-Potato: Zach From Reed College's Magic _and (25 comments)

Tragic Wand

 +2Posted on Apr 13th, 2012 | re: This Week In GIFs! (9 comments)

This joke is only two… IT IS ONLY TWO WEEKS OLD!

 +9Posted on Apr 12th, 2012 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Mel Gibson Is Still Mel Gibson (62 comments)

Isn’t he too old for this shit?

 +2Posted on Mar 9th, 2012 | re: Friday Giveaway: Being Flynn Soundtrack & Book + Bose Earbuds! (53 comments)

If Commenting is Wrong, Then I Don’t Want to be Wright

 +2Posted on Mar 9th, 2012 | re: Friday Giveaway: Being Flynn Soundtrack & Book + Bose Earbuds! (53 comments)

If Commenting is Wrong, The I Don’t Want to be Wright

 +15Posted on Feb 29th, 2012 | re: Perez Hilton Blog Dot Com: The TV Show (47 comments)

The Gif of the Magi — Short stories with twist endings presented in gif form like so:

 +8Posted on Feb 24th, 2012 | re: A Few Nice, Normal Engagement Photos (16 comments)

 +3Posted on Feb 16th, 2012 | re: R.I.P. Larry King's Professional Relationship With CNN (5 comments)

To: All CNN Center Employees
From: The office of John E. Kampfe, Executive Vice President and CFO, Turner Broadcasting
Re: Turner/CNN’s relationship with Larry King

————————————————————————————

As you all may know, CNN/Turner has mutually agreed to no longer produce Mr. King’s quarterly specials, effectively ending our 27-year relationship.

Because we will no longer need to factor Mr. King’s suspenders allotment in our yearly budget, all CNN Center employees can now take three (3) chicken fingers in the commissary, instead of the maximum of two (2) that were specified in this 2012 edition of the employee handbook.

If you have any questions on this new chicken finger policy or our relationship with Mr. King, my assistant Camille Ponce is happy to address any inquiries on a first-come basis.

Best Regards,
John E. Kampfe (CP)

cc: Turner, Ted

 +12Posted on Feb 10th, 2012 | re: F It, We're Starting The Day With TWO Videos, No Jump (22 comments)

Frank with the mouthful of half eaten mayo, mustard and cold cults.

 +13Posted on Sep 1st, 2011 | re: Lindsay Lohan Got A Tattoo Of Billy Joel Lyrics, OBVIOUSLY (20 comments)

A crippling chemical dependency AND Billy Joel lyrics?Throw in a Che Guavara poster and night terrors and you’ll have my freshmen year roommate.

 +5Posted on Aug 17th, 2011 | re: The Actor In Gerard Depardieu Took Over On An Airplane (42 comments)

ABGRV: Always Be Giffing Robert Vaughn

 +10Posted on Aug 5th, 2011 | re: Friday Giveaway: Louie: Season One (67 comments)

Who’s Louie CK? I think I know.
I saw him once in the city so,
I think he’ll appreciate me here
writing a poem about his show.

The day his show will disappear
Off of FX, I’ll shed a tear
It would be a big mistake
To cancel Louis that dark year

My old professors’d label me a fake
and give their fists a angry shake
“Ripping off Frost,” they’d weep.
“To win a set of DVD’s? For fuck’s sake?”

I’ve ne’er claimed to be that deep
So upvote this poem, my Vgum sheep.
Because I need these discs and I am that cheap.
Because I need these discs and I am that cheap.

 +15Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (36 comments)

Why isn’t winter yet?

 +7Posted on Jul 8th, 2011 | re: Friday Giveaway: Curb Your Enthusiasm Mug And Mousepad (29 comments)

I’d be pretty happy to win this prize. Pretty…. pretty….pretty happy.

 +19Posted on Jun 29th, 2011 | re: This Truck Is A Totally Normal Length (37 comments)

I am related to this truck. Just thought I’d throw that out there.