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Timmy Metzner
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I feel like… I feel like maybe this is a really clever audition tape for RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6. Like. Get her on that show. And if not, I’m so so so sorry for thinking you were probably a very tiny man.
I have this scarring memory of complaining about having to listen to the oldies station every time we got in the car. My dad turns around and says “Some day WHITNEY HOUSTON will be on the oldies station!” And i was stunned. It was a hard lesson in the passage of time, aging, the fleeting nature of life and also a subtle indictment of my yet to be realized homosexuality. A lot for a 5 year old to process.
August: Osage County might be my favorite play. I’ve been excited about this movie for a long time and this trailer with the uplifting music and the smiles just does not show how utterly terrible and broken and mean all these characters are. It’s a #dark play.
But then again Meryl and Juliette and Benedict… so… sure. I’m on board.
i was so worried he was going to fall. i’d just have to LEAVE THE GYM if i saw this happening there. it already brings up so much anxiety.
I feel like it was a missed opportunity. The sign should have said. “You are now disturbed.”
I had a very graphic and frightening sex dream about Anne Hathaway. She had… needs. As a gay man I did my best to fulfill them, but I remember grimacing the whole time.
I was utterly confused when I woke up.
i made it 14 seconds. i really feel like this needed a NSFWOEPDW (not safe for work or ever please don’t watch) warning.
Mine is definitely Adam Scott telling me he likes me and he loves me as he gets on one knee in a city hall somewhere. RuPaul is there telling me I didn’t fuck it up and then we go get some Bob’s Burgers.
Yook at all my exploded non-existent ovaries
If videogum had a catchphrase what would it be? Just kidding. We know it already. It’s “more sand.” duh. #laughtrack
Kelly’s one sentence response is perfection. I give it two Pulitzers way up!
My biggest question is… who is supposed to watch this? what is your target audience? Do you want a pat on the back from other hatemongers? Then maybe just keep that to your small terrible circle of friends at youth group.
Do you want to try to convert the gays? Then why isn’t this a seven minute long techno remix sampling Robyn’s Dancing on My Own?
#marketing
Someday I’m gonna be all “That’s my HUSBAND’s Job” and if it’s not Jeremiah, it’ll be Adam Scott. He’ll love me that much to switch his careers in this fantasy. Compromise.
Guys, my friend Jeremiah Boehr is a “Master Model Builder” at Legoland and he is so handsome and dreamy. You should go check out his fb fan page and then fall in love with him but then remember he is mine and not yours.
But to answer your question: Planet Express.
i want to observe a crime that causes me to go into hiding, as a nun. but more deeply. i want them to love me so much that they ask me back to teach their music class to kids in overalls and lauren hill.
objects in mirror are (not) closer than they appear
What did you do on your summer break?
- Math Teacher
Oh nothing. Just a masterful recreation of one of the best music videos in history and became an internet celebrity. And the pool a lot.
- This kid
I live in Baltimore so everyday is The Purge. Seriously. People do whatever they want and it’s terrifying.