Call me when you’re ready for Miss Melons.
Between eating each other and calling Rihanna names, the Dutch are really making some poor decisions this week.
Game of Thrones is basically my 1-3.
Disney has the Vault. Harry has the Chamber of Secrets. Smooth marketing tactics.
All schoolchildren are just leather-bound when they reach grade five.
I know, Steve. Your mom put a lot of time and effort into it.
And me, considering I made the shoop.
OH HI, HUNTER
Set to an appropriately awkward fingerbang scene.
Sadly no Drive Shaft, but probably plenty of grown men in diapers.
She sounds like a fun broad. Can I get her digits?
Skeezer sitting next to me during The Lovely Bones: I’m disappointed that they didn’t include the rape scene. That wouldn’ve been hot.
I never wished so badly that I had Chris Hansen on speed-dial. Except that time my uncle took off his pants at the elementary school. But that was just an honest mistake.
Or perhaps that Mel has a wallet. Don’t rich people just point at things they want?
I watched an entire episode of “Whoopie” because Michael Emerson (TV’s Ben) was on it.
I also puked in my sister’s toy chest once and blamed it on the dog.
These guys are too liberal for Mel. They wear dresses!
Wait, Jonah Hill is writing that? I didn’t know cupcakes had fingers.
Nice grammar, Grandpa.