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Lauren Matson
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I woke up this morning to a thud, and realized my phone had fallen off the shelf onto the floor. I picked it up and saw that I had gotten this email. Basically, it made my phone try and commit suicide.
Tyrannosaur: “Without doubt one of the films of the year.” Hmm . . .
“There is definitely a rapist in Lincoln Bark.”
No? Puns not funny enough for you? Then…
“I am not a bitch. I am you.”
A pun inside a crossover meme. You’ve been inceptioned.
Maybe it’s my speakers, but I’m pretty sure it was narrated by this guy:
Yes, I completely agree. This show would be so much better without a thirteen year old telling me how what I’m watching is funny. I mentally erased the v/o while watching this week, and I had way more lulz.
I am from Wisconsin, and I am offended. But it’s ok, because I put a picture of this show in my wallet.
I accept!
I’m pretty sure this is what I sound like on job interviews, and this is why I still don’t have a job. (Hire me?)
Oh man, I don’t care if it’s basically one of Family Guy’s favorite gags. Don and Ken Cosgrove trying to conduct a meeting with Pete Campbell cleaning up Miss Blankenship in the background was the best thing everrrrrrrrr. I’m going back to staring at that gif for the rest of the day.
I’m also pretty sure they thought they were giving the award to Kenny.
These judges are all obviously drunk and meant to award the title of Top Chef to the OTHER husky bearded fellow named Kevin.
Can we please stop using the words “gay” to refer to homosexuals, and “retard” to refer to the mentally handicapped? I ask this not because I am offended, but because I really want what this guy is to be a “gay retard” and not have it offend anybody. I want the words “gay” and “retard” to refer to people (of any sexuality or mental capacity) like this guy, and not be derogatory to anyone else. Just this guy.
Also, have we settled on a name for a man slut yet, because SO MANY HICKIES.
The only reason you watch Iron Chef is because of the DRAMA. That, and Mario Batali dripping sweat all over some otherwise delicious looking Italian food.
“What is that red light pointing at me from inside the bushes?”
I like that Mel Gibson is so method, that even his racist, misogynistic rants are Australian accent free.
This is obviously a sequel to The Room. SPOILER ALERT.
Gone With The Fireworks (My Fingers Are)
In the Broadway race for my heart, Hugh Jackman is number one, and Kristin Chenoweth is number two.
This is the new thing I’m going to post on peoples’ walls when Facebook has just reminded me it’s their birthday.
What? This has. . . I . . . well, frankly I’m just disappointed and didn’t log in to find some ambitious whippersnapper had gone and made one.
I don’t know how to make photoshopped images/gifs of things, but if I did, right here I would put a gif of Jason Bateman with his head down while the Charlie Brown song played, and you would all give me about +7 upvotes for the Arrested Development reference.
Shh, Gabe. Don’t fight it. Just accept that this is going to happen.




























I thought this post was going to explain Rob Lowe’s gross existence on Parks and Recreation. I’m sorry, I just don’t understand why he’s there? :/