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Elvis vs. Shark

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 +20Posted on Feb 7th | re: Heaven Just Got A Little More Videogum (277 comments)

I don’t know where I’m going to go now. Like, yeah there are other funny sites, but they are all so mean. The one thing that set Videogum apart from every single other pop culture blog was that everyone here is so nice. The comments were a respite from the arguments and mean-spirited jabs of other sites’ comment sections. ok bye.

 +14Posted on Feb 3rd | re: Hey Guys, We Have To Talk To You About Something (353 comments)

This has to be feasible, right? We need to save it this is literally the only good site left on the internet.

It’s just selfies all the way down.

 +13Posted on Nov 26th, 2013 | re: Obamacare Just Lost Another Supporter (20 comments)

Not a bad piece of post-modern freestyle

but Sheen is no Billy Zane.

 +7Posted on Nov 21st, 2013 | re: Brainstorming Names For The Batman Vs. Superman Movie (67 comments)

Sup Batman

 +6Posted on Oct 1st, 2013 | re: Billy Zane Gets To The Bottom Of The Government Shutdown (46 comments)

See, if I hadn’t gone pee I would’ve won the Seuss Reference Race 2013. But now I must concede power to you.

 +7Posted on Oct 1st, 2013 | re: Billy Zane Gets To The Bottom Of The Government Shutdown (46 comments)

I can see this slowly devolving into Seussian wordplay.

“Drop your iphones! Or you’ll become zibrones!
Why are there furloughs? We should be riding purrlows!
The schmesident gazmonkled the government
now we are stuck with a wubbamuverment!”

 +4Posted on Oct 1st, 2013 | re: Which Simpsons Character Will Be Killed Off In The New Season?! (59 comments)

I gots a question- What would everyone say is the most recent “big” quote from the Simpsons? You know, one that everybody knows and quotes all the time. Do we have to go back to the 90′s for that? Or was there one in the early ’00′s that made it through the cultural threshold?

 +4Posted on Oct 1st, 2013 | re: Which Simpsons Character Will Be Killed Off In The New Season?! (59 comments)

This comment is worded in such a wonderfully grim way.

Room Raider.

 +6Posted on Aug 21st, 2013 | re: Movie Sequels That Messed Me Up As A Child (46 comments)

Dunston Checks Out taught me what euphemisms were.

 +7Posted on Aug 6th, 2013 | re: Summer Jam 2013: Cookie Monster, "Me Want It (But Me Wait)" (29 comments)

Same here, I thought it was one of those Christian abstinence jams.

 +23Posted on Aug 2nd, 2013 | re: This Is Just A Goodbye Post (241 comments)

I’ve been reading the ‘gum since 2008 and if you look at any of my comments from back in the day you’ll find that I was a bitter, mean, and often clueless person. Luckily somewhere along the way I (mostly) shaped up and a lot of it was due to this site.Videogum actually changed my worldview. The combination of the insightful but always funny writing and the kind but hilarious commentators is really a rare occurrence here in cyberspace. In all my travels on Internet I’ve yet to find a better site.

So thanks Gabe, I guess. You were the level-headed magnet that brought all these cool cats together. I wish you nothing but the best. May Faygo rain upon you from the heavens.

Where’s DJ Juicy Jeff?

 0Posted on Jun 7th, 2013 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (11 comments)

Why is The To-Do List’s trailer sooooooo long? It was basically ten million hours long. And also incredibly unfunny. Where have all the indie dramedies gone this year? Last year there was so many and there hasn’t been a single one yet in 2013. The only one that’s on the horizon is The Way, Way Back.

 +2Posted on Jun 7th, 2013 | re: Quote Of The Day: Olivia Munn Knows The Pythagorean Theorem (25 comments)

She’s aCUTE.

like the angle

 +4Posted on May 23rd, 2013 | re: It Is 2013, Right? (28 comments)

Gas is really expensive though… soon a gallon will cost $ 80085

 +22Posted on May 8th, 2013 | re: It's OK To Say No When Someone Asks You To Prom, Young Ladies (23 comments)

I also graduated in 2005 and I can’t log into Stereogum where I’d normally share this, so awkward prom story time?

September, Senior year. The principal dropped in at the beginning of a period to give us an inspirational pep talk about the future, all that good stuff. He told us about how his daughter had introduced him to this song by Lee Ann Womack called “I Hope you Dance”, and how it really made him feel how it’s important to grab life by the horns and face it head on.

He would drop in several times throughout the year, giving us a similar speech each time, always mentioning that song and those gosh-darn-motivational lyrics. “If you get a chance to sit it out or dance/ I hope you daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance”.

So prom finally arrived, I went stag, yadda yadda, pleasant enough time, and then BAM. Principal got on stage and introduced the song as the official “Class of 2005 Last Dance Song”. Having watched way too many teen soaps/John Hughes movies, I took this as a dramatic camera-revolving-around-me sign, and I went up to my #1 crush and asked her to have the last dance with me. She turned me down with a grimace, and I was left standing there kinda awkwardly. Trying to remain cool, I “casually”(aka super awkwardly) asked the rest of her table “Hey, any of you other girls wanna dance then?”

All of them looked away and left the table.

After prom my friends went to the woods and sat in a pit and got drunk.

Anyway, anyone else have prom bomb stories?

 +2Posted on Apr 8th, 2013 | re: Where Else Should The Avatar Sequels Go? (46 comments)

American Idol.

Yeah I thought Thanksgiving Friday was all y’all Americans biggest shopping day extravaganza blowout ever?

Also, here in Western civilization Easter Monday is no big deal but in Poland it’s called Smingus Dyngus (aka Wet Monday) and you get to spray people with water.

TOTALLY FOR SERIOUS, INTERNET IT.

 0Posted on Apr 1st, 2013 | re: Other Possibilities For AMC's New Tagline (33 comments)

A few months ago I noticed how more and more taglines were getting ridiculously lazy, so this fits right in with the bland, simplistic direction marketing has taken.

Future Shop- “Exciting stuff”
The Source- “I want that”
KFC- “So good”
Yoplait- “It’s so good”

What happened to the days of “TIMEX! It takes a licking and keeps on ticking!”

 +4Posted on Feb 15th, 2013 | re: What Is Hentai? (Besides NSFW.) (27 comments)

Well what did you think your friend’s brother was doing on his laptop all day? Looking at hentai?

 +4Posted on Feb 8th, 2013 | re: Todays Forecast Calls For A Great Kid Weatherman! (Sorry!) (14 comments)

See I thought so too because I just assume America is always hot, but then it said 29 and 30 degrees but with flurries, so they are Fahrenheit but just really low? You got it worse than us Canadese!

 +1Posted on Feb 1st, 2013 | re: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: VW's Racist Super Bowl Commercial (136 comments)

Das Auto? More like Das Racist!

 +5Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 | re: Here Are Some Morning Links! (16 comments)

…as fast as a monorail?