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Elgre
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We have all seen Let the Right One In, yes? Consider it the Anti-Twilight, and as such is required viewing until this particular zeitgeist decides to do the right thing and crawl under a porch somewhere to die.
After mom kicked me out of the house for having a stupid haircut (that SHE made me get!), I pretended a tree was her and stabbed it a bunch until I got numb cuz it was snowing and then my friends the forty year old serial killer and the twelve year old transvestite vampire went to the park and drank some homeless guy’s blood and let me watch and it was funny cuz he was all like “AKkaaUGh” and his eyes were doing funny stuff too! My Life Is Let The Right One In! (MLILTROI)
The young Blood had been careless.
He hadn’t thought to bring a weapon on his sightseeing trip, and now the Only Crip in China had him cornered. Only a miracle can save him now!
Suddenly, the solution comes to him: squat thrusts. They always said he was the best, and now was his chance to prove it. If his sqats are low enough, and his thrusts far enough, he might just earn his rival’s grudging respect and live to tell everyone back home.
Now is my time to step up, He thinks, preparing to meet his destiny, Now is my time to be the hero.
Fucking scum. Should we move him to The Hague now or after the bill passes? Also, Rachel Maddow shall now be venerated as Diana, Goddess of the Almighty Pwn.