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DuckDuck
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 +3Posted on Jul 8th, 2011 | re: Today We Are All Jeopardy! Neil (27 comments)

I think he was going to try to buy a vowel.

 0Posted on Feb 4th, 2011 | re: This Is Your Dance Of Seduction: The Moist-Maker (100 comments)

Also “spurt.”

 +5Posted on Dec 21st, 2010 | re: Merry Christmas From 90210 (36 comments)

From the comments I surmise this was supposed to be a video link, but all I see is Brenda Walsh giving me a dirty look. Fuck you too Brenda.

 +12Posted on Dec 15th, 2010 | re: An Open Letter To The Clay Duke Surveillance Tape (184 comments)

“There are some of us who do not think it is being a Moral Scold to simply suggest that the world could do with a little less sadness/horror/nightmare porno. Things are hard enough out here. They are scary and confusing enough.”

This is the exact reason I’ve refused to listen to or watch the video for “Whip My Hair.”

 +15Posted on Dec 15th, 2010 | re: A 12-Year Old Lectures Us About Abortion (137 comments)

A couple of times a year Blue Bell puts out a flavor called “Dos Amigos.” It’s 50% Mexican chocolate, 50% Mexican vanilla, 100% DELICIOUS.

 +7Posted on Dec 15th, 2010 | re: A 12-Year Old Lectures Us About Abortion (137 comments)

On the upside she’ll be an RA at Oral Roberts University so she won’t be bothering thinking people with her rants.

 +1Posted on Dec 15th, 2010 | re: Ultimate John Cena Fan Video (27 comments)

Am I imagining things or was Bobby Brown one of the backup singers?

This is how I feel about Nicolas Cage. He’s such a buffoon and cranks out terrible movie after terrible movie, but he’s also H.I. McDunnough.

 +1Posted on Dec 13th, 2010 | re: Chris Rock Delivers A Baby And Jon Lovitz Has Psoriasis (21 comments)

Coincidentally, Carrot Top is scheduled to perform my c-section in a couple of weeks, and Robin Williams has impetigo.

 +2Posted on Dec 13th, 2010 | re: Chris Rock Delivers A Baby And Jon Lovitz Has Psoriasis (21 comments)

Judy Tenuta helped me pick out a new sink at Home Depot yesterday.

 +7Posted on Dec 10th, 2010 | re: A Question About The Tourist (91 comments)

I didn’t say there is no such thing as a good jazz song (I actually like jazz..) I’m talking about jazzed-up versions of non-jazz songs, my particular pet peeve being jazzy Christmas songs.

All the downvotes in the world will not me back down on this point.

 +10Posted on Dec 10th, 2010 | re: A Question About The Tourist (91 comments)

Why do the movie industry powers-that-be keep letting Angelina Jolie do accents???? Who is telling her she’s good at accents? I’m going to fix this.

Dear Angelina Jolie,
You are very bad at doing accents. Please stop.

Thank you,
Everyone

 +6Posted on Dec 10th, 2010 | re: A Question About The Tourist (91 comments)

Personally I find celebrity voices in animated movies to be too distracting and it’s a huge pet peeve of mine. I’d rather have no-name actors create unique voices for the characters than have to listen to 90 minutes of Angelina Jolie being a sexy fish.

 0Posted on Dec 10th, 2010 | re: A Question About The Tourist (91 comments)

There is no such thing as a good jazz version of any song.

 +7Posted on Dec 9th, 2010 | re: Double Dream Hands! (96 comments)

It’s nice of the AT&T store to let John film these videos on his breaktime. TMobile wouldn’t let him and Cricket just doesn’t have the space.

 +7Posted on Dec 8th, 2010 | re: Post Your Salsa Dog Reaction Videos Here And Everywhere (205 comments)

Awww, I didn’t mean to complain. This was excellent and looks like a lot of work. I don’t comment enough around here, and when I do it’s usually just about my cats, so I shouldn’t expect my avatar to show up in the VGum Hall of Fame photo. Keep up the funnies, PStSoap!

 +10Posted on Dec 8th, 2010 | re: Post Your Salsa Dog Reaction Videos Here And Everywhere (205 comments)

I’m not there either. I’ll be over here crying into my kibble. :(

 +11Posted on Dec 8th, 2010 | re: Good Dog, Salsa Dog (80 comments)

Whatevs. You should see my cat do the lambada.

 +1Posted on Dec 7th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Jingle All The Way (180 comments)

But he’s only in it for about 5 minutes total. Also, John Lithgow is listed 3rd (I think) in the credits, but he’s in the movie for only about 10 seconds and then the scene awkwardly cuts away right after he says, “But I just got here!” I know, John. You did just get there.

 +25Posted on Dec 6th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Jingle All The Way (180 comments)

I know we’re doing awful holiday movies right now, but I would like to submit an early nomination for the next round of regular WMOAT- Leap Year. Holy hell is this movie awful. It includes every stupid RomCom cliche you can think of, and the 2 main characters are the most miserable, unlikeable characters to ever grace my TV screen (and I’ve seen every episode of True Blood.)

 +1Posted on Dec 6th, 2010 | re: Black Swan: A Movie Review (119 comments)

I miss the couches in the back of the original Drafthouse. You couldn’t see shit but man were they comfy.

 +3Posted on Dec 6th, 2010 | re: Black Swan: A Movie Review (119 comments)

I’ve gone to the movies in NYC and London while on vacation. It makes for a nice break when you’re tired to walking and the weather is shitty. It’s also fun to see a movie that isn’t showing yet back at home.

 +7Posted on Dec 3rd, 2010 | re: Marvin Zindler's Friday Report (59 comments)

Did he have someone wearing a gorilla suit on stage with him? He talked about drugs at our school too. Then he starting talking shit to a 12 year old who had giggled at something and it all went downhill.

 +3Posted on Dec 3rd, 2010 | re: Marvin Zindler's Friday Report (59 comments)

Speaking of Houston icons, Mattress Mack once spoke at my junior high and was a raging asshole. I bet Marvin would have been more fun.

 +6Posted on Dec 2nd, 2010 | re: Fake Criterions (71 comments)

Oh my. I meant Point Break. Please excuse my outburst, I was just so angry I couldn’t type correctly.