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I'll bring the beards.
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 +1Posted on Sep 18th, 2009 | re: Chris Brown Suffers In Silence (33 comments)

Beat plants, not people.

 0Posted on Sep 10th, 2009 | re: Ellen Degeneres's Big Announcement (28 comments)

Ah yes. This makes the kind of sense that is not.

 0Posted on Sep 10th, 2009 | re: America's Next Top Model: Ya Wanna Be On Top? (40 comments)

Clearly Amber’s ‘personal reasons’ for leaving were that she was going to “save the world” with Jesus.

Also, Bloody Eye FTW.

 +2Posted on Aug 14th, 2009 | re: America's Got Talent? (31 comments)

Seems this misunderstanding in title could be remedied by simply using the appropriate quotation marks. The ACTUAL name of the show is: America’s Got “Talent”.

 +5Posted on Aug 13th, 2009 | re: Oprah No Longer Being Sued For All The Money By The Mayor Of Crazy Town (6 comments)

I enjoy the fact that someone thought a 1.2 trillion dollar lawsuit was viable at all, ever.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to put my trillion dollar bill back in its case.

 +11Posted on Aug 12th, 2009 | re: The Apocalypse Looks A Lot Like The "Black Hole Sun" Video (73 comments)

To be fair, religion is kind of scary.

 +2Posted on Aug 12th, 2009 | re: Watching White People Dance Is Never Not Funny (64 comments)

I’m kind of upset that the video ended.

Also, I feel monumentally better about my own dancing capabilities.

 +2Posted on Aug 12th, 2009 | re: The Apocalypse Looks A Lot Like The "Black Hole Sun" Video (73 comments)

Wow. This, apparently, has every d-list actor I’ve ever seen on television. On a related note, it looks absolutely horrible.