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dr. scientician
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 0Posted on Nov 15th, 2010 | re: The Walking Dead S01E02: No One On The Corner Has Stagger Like Grimes (118 comments)

Oh. My. God. I haven’t thought about this game in a MILLION YEARS. I used to play it all the time when I was a kid, and it was the most exasperating, futile thing I have experienced under the guise of “entertainment.” I remember dying randomly because of the evil of the house overwhelming me or something? Ah, memories.

 +20Posted on Sep 28th, 2010 | re: Baby Eating Chili To Dubstep (38 comments)

What I love best about this baby, besides her hairstyle, is her frequent use of the napkin. That is one conscientious, hard-rockin’ baby.

 +3Posted on Sep 15th, 2010 | re: Video Rental Stores Now Offering Tanning Beds (??!??) (37 comments)

Having lived for a while in a small town in rural Kentucky (yes, it was hell) where everyone and their mom goes tanning, it seemed like every local business had tanning beds. Video stores, convenience stores, laundromats, etc. all had tanning beds on-site for your skin-crispening enjoyment. Even now, back in civilization, there is a place down the street that has everything you will ever need in life: laundromat/dry cleaning, tanning, daquiri bar, and ice cream parlor ALL IN ONE. Now THAT is a business model.

 +3Posted on Jun 21st, 2010 | re: Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis Live, With Brian Williams (19 comments)

Kudos for gettin’ all scientastic up in here. This is hands-down my favorite response to any of these dating site spam comments that have surfaced as of late.

 +3Posted on Jun 8th, 2010 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Keyboard Cathy (78 comments)

I don’t even have words for the confluence of brilliance in this comment. Kudos to you, fellow monster.

 +2Posted on May 24th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: MacGruber (50 comments)

This movie was exactly what I thought it would be, in that I laughed out loud a couple of times and spent a lot time being grossed out and left the theater going, “Meh. That was thoroughly adequate.” Maybe it would have been more entertaining if I was high. Probably.

I will go on record as being perhaps the only monster who enjoyed Ryan Phillpe’s character, however. I appreciated the entertainment that came from Lt. Piper being the only person in the MacGruberverse who could see what a ridiculous, selfish fuck-up McGruber is. Kristen Wiig’s anxious tone and facial expressions were funny, but didn’t make me laugh nearly as much as Phillipe’s perpetual WTF?-face.

God, I was going to be disappointed if someone didn’t post this gif. Die Antwoord and the Dark Side Underpants Dance was all I could think of when watching the video. Ninja knows how to plan appropriately for a mid-day underpants dance party: non-restricting garments and a skinny white girl acting as a hype man.

 +3Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: Ultimately, Ke$ha Is Our Fault (129 comments)

I watched this video on mute, a lesson I learned the hard way after the very, very bad mistake of watching the “Blah Blah Blah” video with the audio on. I concur with the comments regarding the grossness of the Yellow Submarine imagery. I am much more offended, however, by her ongoing co-opting of “native” imagery (e.g., war paint) to communicate that she is wild and fierce. She is disgusting AND embarrassing.

 +3Posted on May 12th, 2010 | re: Teachers Are Still Charming And Ridiculous Dorks (88 comments)

I know I do that same dance whenever presented with a bag of Cheetos.

I am seriously sad that anyone old enough to even consider getting married would want this hideous-ass ring. I could see someone giving/receiving this as a “promise” ring since that seems right in line with the sexual mores of Twilight fans, but as an actual engagement ring? Seriously?

 +1Posted on Apr 20th, 2010 | re: The Least Enticing Movie Poster Of All Time: Gun (87 comments)

I see what they did there.

 0Posted on Apr 8th, 2010 | re: Nicolas Cage Is The New Terrence Howard (69 comments)

This post just would not have been complete without the Spirit of Jazz. Thank you for that.

 +1Posted on Apr 7th, 2010 | re: Corbin Bernsen Fights The Important Fight (41 comments)

I shall brook no disrespect of the awesomeness that is Akron, Corbin Bernsen-funded faith-based dreck or not. In addition to being the Rubber City and home of the Soap Box Derby, this fine, fine municipality has provided the world with Lebron James, Alcoholics Anonymous, and more polymer engineering than you can shake a teflon-coated stick at. So y’all haterz can SUCK IT.

 0Posted on Mar 15th, 2010 | re: Die Antwoord Sign To Interscope Records (10 comments)

Thank you for the update on Die Antwoord. I was starting to get worried about them, but not worried enough to Google them. Whew — anxiety reduced.

 +6Posted on Mar 12th, 2010 | re: Rest Your Case, Dude! (48 comments)

I love too how he steps between Captain Crazypants and the crew to defend them. You can hear around 1:57 where he tells him to get away from the cameraman.

 0Posted on Mar 11th, 2010 | re: Worlds Been Had Colliding: Diplo And James Cameron Edition (36 comments)

They didn’t want to have to share their meth. Also, they didn’t have anyone to watch their rat while they were away.

 0Posted on Mar 11th, 2010 | re: I Fu*king Hate This Calvin Klein Commercial (81 comments)

This comment is one of those situations in which I wish I had a million upvotes all for you.

 +2Posted on Mar 10th, 2010 | re: Kids Are Unperturbed By Gay Marriage The Darndest Things (45 comments)

That little one brought a tear to my eye. What a cutie. I love how once he wrapped his brain around it, it was all cool — just a little tweak to an existing paradigm, with no judgmental subtext. Like someone just told him that whales are mammals and he was like, “but they live in the water and dogs are mammals and… what… whales and dogs… wha… Okay. I’m going to go play ping pong now.”

 +5Posted on Feb 25th, 2010 | re: Blah Blah Blah, Indeed: Ke$ha Has Always Been Terribl$ (213 comments)

Wow — this “video” is like someone took it upon themselves as their life’s work to make the worst thing ever created by human beings. It is breathtaking in its complete and utter horribleosity, to the point where I have a hard time believing that it is not meant ironically. It’s like Die Antwoord, but real. I think.

 +1Posted on Feb 25th, 2010 | re: Welcome To The New Videogum (305 comments)

*making me have to stop lurking. Wow, first comment ever FAIL.

 0Posted on Feb 25th, 2010 | re: Welcome To The New Videogum (305 comments)

Darn you for making have to stop lurking and actually register and whatnot in order to see the upvoting/downvoting going on here. How else will I know which comments to read? I have important dicking around on the internet to do; I need to be expedient in my Videogum viewing.

That said, the site upgrade is definitely the interwebs equivalent of next level beats.