Douche Juice
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 +8Posted on Mar 16th, 2012 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (107 comments)


 +13Posted on Dec 20th, 2011 | re: Merry Christmas From Courtney Stodden (38 comments)

this video has inspired me to enlist in the army that fights the war on christmas

 +4Posted on May 20th, 2011 | re: Arnold Schwarzenegger Can No Longer Be Considered A True Artist (29 comments)

i am all for making fun of arnold shwarzenTL-DR, but really all i want to know today is when are we going to celebrate the cancellation of Outsourced? Can we make this the focal point of an already pared down Thursday Night TV Open Thread? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?

 +13Posted on May 13th, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Also A Group Discussion About Spoilers (161 comments)

having a random friday off and getting to watch the gifs of the of thursday tv open thread as they are posted is the first time i’ve been truly happy in like a month. thanks, monsters.

 +16Posted on Mar 28th, 2011 | re: Friends With Benefits Trailer, You Guys (74 comments)

Okay, so everyone here makes salient points about how much both these fuckbuddy movies are going to probably suck, but i have a whole other question: is this a thing that is happening right now?

are there really 20somethings who are just so uber-successful in their career jobs that they don’t have time to date AT ALL but they are so attractive and have so many equally attractive, unattached, unlucky in love and too busy to start a new relationship friends that they just start fucking until they eventually fall in love?

like i know that this is hollywood so y’know, suspension of disbelieve (MEDIA STUDIES) and all, but seriously, hollywood? Everyone who ever went to college for even a semester knows that these types of arrangements end really really badly because they are the product of two horrible as-yet-unformed post-adolescent skinbags of human waste trying to use each other until the horribly awkward “going to buy plan b” trip that finally mercy kills their pseudo relationship (and their possibly trying to form baby, if you are pro-life like that).

I guess what i am saying is that it boggles my mind that this might be a “thing” that people in hollywood think is happening (and might actually be happening? I don’t know i live in the woods) enough to make TWO different movies about it.

also i would like to nominate Sucker Punch for WMOAT, with a stop-motion super close-up of a bullet. that is all.

 +13Posted on Mar 22nd, 2011 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Chet Haze Ironing (100 comments)

Dude M.I.A. has fallen on seriously hard times.

 +13Posted on Mar 21st, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State (275 comments)

so late to this party but i just want to say first of all i hate this movie so much, and i have been looking forward to this review for awhile. I am so glad this piece of total awful garbage is so high on the WMOAT leaderboard.

however, this review did not tackle my major issue with the film which is that at one point a young man in his early 20s tells his father “it’s going to be okay” or whatever he says in that chest-touching scene.

to recap, this father is a man who has lived his whole life and lost the love of his whole life and also had a real career that he used to support his family and buy a house and pay a mortgage and probably save for zach braff’s stupid face’s college tuition, among other adult whole long life things that people do. Zach Braff is a fucking idiot kid.

His father should have smacked zach braff’s stupid petulant face right off when he heard that fucking nonsense. i just needed to add that/vent about my least favorite part of probably my least favorite movie of all time.

 +4Posted on Mar 7th, 2011 | re: Daniel Craig Wears A Dress For Womyn's Rights (56 comments)

on the most recent episode of the ricky gervais show on hbo, they actually used the word lorry and i was like “Oh THAT’S what it means.” #unculturedmonster

 +6Posted on Mar 3rd, 2011 | re: Marcel The Shell With Shoes On: The Book (23 comments)

USA Today! The coloring book of newspapers!

 +5Posted on Mar 1st, 2011 | re: The Evolution Of Jay-Z's Style (34 comments)

are they both also on friendster? what year is it? i’m so confused

 +5Posted on Mar 1st, 2011 | re: The Evolution Of Jay-Z's Style (34 comments)

50 cent has a livejournal? wtf

 +11Posted on Mar 1st, 2011 | re: Charlie Sheen At Least Sane Enough To Backpedal (A Little) (50 comments)

“Every great movement begins with one man and I guess that’s me.” – Charlie Sheen

 +22Posted on Feb 28th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Remember Me (138 comments)

for 9/11 i was living in downtown l.a. and nobody had a fucking clue what was happening and since everyone in l.a. thinks the world revolves around them, we all thought we were gonna be next to be attacked.

so then my roommates and i went to my dealer’s house, and he had made the most potent brownies i have ever eaten. We each ate one then went home and got super high and watched the news. at some point, one of my roommates just said, out of nowhere “we’re gonna go to war with iraq now, just watch.”

then i ate an entire box of mac&cheese all by myself. in my asshole 9/11 story, i am the asshole. also my friends were assholes too. college students are the worst (sorry college students).

 +16Posted on Feb 28th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Remember Me (138 comments)

there is no dana, only 9/11

 +12Posted on Feb 28th, 2011 | re: More Charlie Sheen? Answering READERS' QUESTIONS? Yes, Please! (58 comments)

Okay, I know this is funny, but in a way it is not so funny because Charlie Sheen is basically riding the cocaine train to death town. And when I think about it like that, the fact that he is a grown up adult man saying these ridiculous things is less funny and more really scary.

Also, it is amazing that someone can just speak publicly about loving illegal drugs, and this does not lead to any sort of police involvement. Charlie Sheen allegedly carries around a briefcase full of cocaine drugs for himself and his hooker ladies. Can the LAPD not catch Mr. Sheen with his cokecase and throw him in at least rehab? Are they even interested in trying to do their jobs? And if they aren’t, can we really blame Charlie Sheen for being completely balls crazy? If i lived my entire life above the law with tons of money and no negative consequences for my actions, I would probably think i was WINNING all the time as well.

But when he finally dies later this year, can we all at least agree to leave him off the Oscars “In Memoriam” video, a la Corey Haim?

 +11Posted on Feb 25th, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (120 comments)

Love them both, but lately Community has better .gifs, while Parks & Rec has better jokes.

 +8Posted on Feb 22nd, 2011 | re: "Come Sail Away" With Lexy And Stephany (72 comments)

Not that it matters or anything, but what are the odds these kids AREN’T homeschooled?

 +10Posted on Feb 18th, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (113 comments)

there are not enough upvotes in the world for this gif. concert addict, you are my favorite monster.

 +2Posted on Feb 7th, 2011 | re: Saturday Night Live: Dana Carvey And Linkin Park (67 comments)

wow i didn’t notice this the first time i watched. that is weird.

 +3Posted on Feb 7th, 2011 | re: Saturday Night Live: Dana Carvey And Linkin Park (67 comments)

this was not the best sketch of the night.

 +8Posted on Jan 28th, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (194 comments)

my emotipenis is also awaiting moderation, That One. high five!

 +1Posted on Jan 28th, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (194 comments)


 +1Posted on Jan 10th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Now With Improved Mythology (113 comments)

i cannot believe this did not get more upvotes.

 +1Posted on Dec 16th, 2010 | re: Take Me Home Tonight Trailer, You Guys (86 comments)

this movie looks generic and terrible. i am pretty sure gabe is just fucking with us.