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Dorkus Malorkus
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Latest Comments

 +4Posted on Jul 11th, 2009 | re: The Cleveland Show: Even Worse Than Previously Thought: An Early Review (95 comments)

It’s got what America craves!

 +19Posted on Jul 7th, 2009 | re: Inglourious Basterds Now Being Directly Marketed To Assholes (38 comments)

So get Firefox with Adblocker and you’ll never see them again. Quit whining about ads, everyone.

 +2Posted on Jun 24th, 2009 | re: Kelly Clarkson Is The Hero Of The World (29 comments)

I’ve always kind of hated Kelly Clarkson’s songs and wondered if she had signed some kind of deal with the devil to get so popular, but recently I have begun to realize that she is actually sort of cool. This sort of thing helps.

 +7Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 | re: So, Is America Done With Jon & Kate Now? Please? (38 comments)

I work in a grocery store, and I stare at the covers of tabloids all day from behind my checkstand. Jon and Kate are on most of them, but personally I’m much more interested in the story about Michelle Obama’s secret pregnancy, which will once and for all prove that Barack is not gay. Why hasn’t FOX picked up this story?!

 +2Posted on Jun 16th, 2009 | re: Dancing Baby Technology Has Barely Improved In The Last 13 Years (13 comments)

Yeah…what does this have to do with Evian again?

 +1Posted on Jun 16th, 2009 | re: Weird Al Don't Ever Die (30 comments)

New Weird Al songs leave me damp in the trousers.

 +1Posted on Jun 16th, 2009 | re: Hero Rescues Baby Raccoons From Vending Machine (17 comments)

To be an accurate representation of Tulsa, this video needed more shots of morbidly obese white people in sweat pants. At least according to my Tulsa-dwelling brother’s descriptions of the horrors he encounters there.

 -2Posted on Jun 11th, 2009 | re: "Do You Need To Go Pee-Pee?" (15 comments)

I just like that the soap is called “Fairy.” Isn’t that mildly offensive?

 +4Posted on Jun 10th, 2009 | re: Hugh Grant Randomly Kicking A Dude In The Crotch Is Always Funny (30 comments)

“No Homer, I won’t make fun of you. Bit I will suggest there may be better things in life than seeing a man get hit in the groin with a football.”

Or with Hugh Grant’s foot.

 +7Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 | re: The Cleveland Show Is Going To Be Even Worse Than We Thought! (38 comments)

Family Guy is at least funny about 25% of the time, and if I turn it on late at night I can usually laugh a little and generally not feel the urge to punch something. This, though, is a vast vortex of suck from which no humor will ever escape. Not a single thing in this trailer made me want to watch the show. I can’t imagine there was a huge fan demand for this.