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Dick Lightning
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 0Posted on Oct 31st, 2011 | re: The Top 5 Covers Of The Ghostbusters Theme Song (33 comments)

That is far and away the best song Hoobastank has ever recorded.

 +1Posted on Sep 8th, 2011 | re: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK) (172 comments)

How much extra weight, exactly? Enough to disregard the Ten Commandments? I’m confused.

 +7Posted on Sep 8th, 2011 | re: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK) (172 comments)

Yeah, I mean one of the ten commandments is not to kill people, but there are lots of other places in the Bible that say TO kill people, so I could see how there’s some confusion there.

 +1Posted on Sep 8th, 2011 | re: Today Is The First Day Of School, Kid! (21 comments)

Kindergarten teachers must be so frustrated these days having to tell their students over and over to put away their iPhones.

 +1Posted on Sep 1st, 2011 | re: Darren Aronofsky's Pee Material Needs Workshopping (21 comments)

So the president of Italy turned to me and said, Requiem for a Dream? More like Requiem for a Diaper, you incontinent asshole! So anyway, I definitely did piss myself, but again, new seats. Alright you all take care of yourselves!

 +7Posted on Aug 30th, 2011 | re: Everyone In The World Watched The VMAs (16 comments)

People don’t seem to understand that their ironic viewing of something isn’t represented in the ratings, and just translates into actual ratings.

Did you hear what Katie Holmes said about reading the script for her new movie, Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark? She said it was so scary, she would wake up at three in the morning thinking someone was there. Turns out it was just Tom Cruise practicing his Uncle Sam on Stilts gag like he does every night.

 +6Posted on Jun 23rd, 2011 | re: Good Morning Lego Prank! (34 comments)

That must have taken at least three of those Lego buckets to build.

 +4Posted on Jun 14th, 2011 | re: Ketchup Moving Machine Has Finally Been Invented (21 comments)

Wet Naps’ stock is plummeting! Sell! Sell!

 +6Posted on Jun 13th, 2011 | re: OK, THIS TIME THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS DEFINITELY BEGUN PROBABLY FOR SURE (27 comments)

The plastic covering leads me to believe Bakebot actually used to be worse at this.

 +3Posted on Jun 8th, 2011 | re: R.I.P. Meredith Vieira And The End Of Flash Mobs (38 comments)

Walking around and going about your usual business is the new flash mob.

 +32Posted on Jun 8th, 2011 | re: That's Your 13-Year-Old: Katy Perry (49 comments)

Come on, guys. Those glasses, and that ponytail! No way could she be prom queen. Aw, she’s got paint stains on her overalls!

 +18Posted on Jun 7th, 2011 | re: Glenn Beck Is Just A Vlogger Now (26 comments)

3 pm: Glenn Beck Live Webcast
5 pm: Triumph of the Will
7 pm: Special Encore Presentation of Triumph of the Will
9 pm: The Smurfs Marathon

 +4Posted on Jun 7th, 2011 | re: The Smurfs Are Racist And Anti-Semitic, Claims This Dude (33 comments)

In light of all this new controversy, I don’t see how the Smurfs movie doesn’t get a Best Picture nod.

 +3Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: What Should Katie Couric's New Talk Show Be Called? (44 comments)

Katie-pie’s Cutsie Doopsie Cat Videos and Other Crap

 +19Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Zachary Briggs IS Available For Your Porn Movie (47 comments)

I had my cursor hovering over the pause button in case he said: “But enough talk, let me show you the goods.”

 +16Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Teen Korner: OZMFZMZMFG TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN TRAILER U GUYZZZ (42 comments)

I wonder if Hollywood has the balls to show the part where the vampire baby bursts out of Kristen Stewart’s stomach.

 +2Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: The Worst Behind The Scenes Movie Set Photo Of All Time (33 comments)

Pretty sure this a photo of a dog food factory someone took by accident with their phone in 2005.

 +5Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: Design The Skyline Is YOUR Generation's Brokencyde (49 comments)

With their debut album: Sim City 3000.

 +17Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: Design The Skyline Is YOUR Generation's Brokencyde (49 comments)

They look more like Muppets to me.

 +4Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: NEW CHET HAZE TRACK, KID! (34 comments)

Strong, but lacking the emotional complexity and wry wit that endeared me to his earlier pieces. Minor Chet Haze.

 +1Posted on May 26th, 2011 | re: UPDATE: Disney Withdraws Application To Trademark "Seal Team 6" (20 comments)

Can’t wait to see what the Navy’s animation team comes up with.

 0Posted on May 25th, 2011 | re: Is Vin Diesel A Slice Of Toast? (43 comments)

Spreadator
Grape Jam
I Hope They Preserves Beer in Hell (oof)

 +10Posted on May 25th, 2011 | re: Is Vin Diesel A Slice Of Toast? (43 comments)

Here in the Midwest, my friends and I all agree that Vin Diesel is one hot slice of ass.

 +11Posted on May 25th, 2011 | re: Is Vin Diesel A Slice Of Toast? (43 comments)

I did like him in Saving Private Rye-an.