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derpymcderpson
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 0Posted on Feb 16th | re: Life Is A Highway, You Guys (143 comments)

Wait. You are fucking with me, right? Fucking bawlfest gonna happen now. Just kidding. Drinkfest. I’m seriously sad to see you go. Your page was a staple, your writers filled with what I needed. Not that I am making this all about me. But what about me? What about my needs???

 0Posted on Jan 15th | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (2 comments)

Please let at least one person agree with me that They Came Together looks really, really not funny, not even in a so bad it’s good way!

 0Posted on Jan 15th | re: The 2014 Golden Globe Awards (67 comments)

I think most 46 year olds wish they had a butt like Matt’s.

 0Posted on Jan 15th | re: The 2014 Golden Globe Awards (67 comments)

Word.

 0Posted on Jan 15th | re: The 2014 Golden Globe Awards (67 comments)

Unlike Robin Wright. I was like, is that a plastic surgery scar on her sideboob? And someone had to explain to me that her boob tape was showing.

 0Posted on Jan 15th | re: The 2014 Golden Globe Awards (67 comments)

I said the same thing about Snakes On A Plane. If that cat dies, I am not watching this movie. But then they ate a Chihuahua later on, so I was all like, even Stevens.

 0Posted on Jan 15th | re: The 2014 Golden Globe Awards (67 comments)

We also had to fast forward through Jacqueline Bisset. Saw where it was going after a sentence or three and just could not watch the train wreck – too depressing.

 +1Posted on Jan 15th | re: The 2014 Golden Globe Awards (67 comments)

After Amy Poehler won her award, Tina congratulated her by saying, I love you and there’s a special place in hell for you. Nyuk nyuk!

 0Posted on Jan 15th | re: The 2014 Golden Globe Awards (67 comments)

I can’t remember too well, but didn’t she also sing it in kind of a little girl voice?

 +1Posted on Jan 15th | re: The 2014 Golden Globe Awards (67 comments)

Singing a Girl Scouts song to Woody Allen is actually completely appropriate.

 +6Posted on Dec 26th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Holiday Movie Club: White Christmas (9 comments)

Thank god you didn’t pick the slightly racist Holiday Inn, which I super love, despite the racism. Because I would have been very defensive. You still get Crosby, but you get better songs, cuter babes and FRED mc effing ASTAIRE and he is the bees’ knees as they used to say. White Christmas sucks, and it sucks despite the fact that it stars Der Bingle and Hans Christen Andersen. Those guys usually can’t mess anything up, so I blame the writers and the stars agents, for allowing them to be in this crap. The best part about this movie is watching Bing look extremely uncomfortable doing the gals’ “Sisters” number in drag. The worst part of this movie is the song they sing to their retiring commandant, or whatever you call that job. Phew! I feel much better now. So cathartic to get that off my chest!

 0Posted on Dec 13th, 2013 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Chasing Amy (294 comments)

I don’t think they rate a Hunt For, but when you get bored, you rent, and we rented two comedies that were not. Identity Thief and This is 40. One is loaded with fat jokes and the other is loaded with misery.

 0Posted on Dec 13th, 2013 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Chasing Amy (294 comments)

You have no idea how happy I am that someone finally called out this movie as the piece of crap that it was. The only thing missing from this adults-talking-like-13-year-olds “film” is Kanye.

I don’t really want to know, but I want to know: Does that chick really talk in a high-pitched baby voice all the time, or was that a sexual invention of Smith’s?

Lastly, except for Clerks, which was okay, did Kevin ever make ANY good movies? I’m drawing a blank.

 0Posted on Nov 26th, 2013 | re: What Classic Movie Dance Would You Perform At Your Wedding? (38 comments)

can’t. stop. watching.

Maybe I have bad eyesight, but it seemed like there was a super obvious camera edit when he pulled that sucker out of her purse. It kind of looked like he pulled it out from under the table.

I’m game!

Hokey magicians.

 +2Posted on Nov 26th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (57 comments)

This is just a tangent really, but I had to be told who the guy hosting SNL was this past weekend. He was so tiny that I’m looking at that picture up there, trying to figure out if they only cast really short people to be in this movie. I always thought Mystique was a tall gal. Who knew?

 0Posted on Nov 2nd, 2013 | re: Best New Party Game: Non-Scary Scary Movie Plot Synopses! (67 comments)

Five kids rent a cabin for the weekend and discover that pot is good and reading is bad.

 0Posted on Nov 2nd, 2013 | re: Best New Party Game: Non-Scary Scary Movie Plot Synopses! (67 comments)

A big lug discovers love, but falls for the wrong blonde.

 0Posted on Nov 2nd, 2013 | re: Best New Party Game: Non-Scary Scary Movie Plot Synopses! (67 comments)

A guy builds some seriously killer Rube Goldberg contraptions and likes to show them off to people.

 0Posted on Nov 2nd, 2013 | re: Best New Party Game: Non-Scary Scary Movie Plot Synopses! (67 comments)

Donnie Wahlberg teaches a potential immigrant that there is no place like home.

 0Posted on Jun 14th, 2013 | re: Game Of Thrones Season 3 Finale Open Thread (59 comments)

HODOR!oomCHICKHODOR!oomCHICKHODOR!oomCHICK!