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dance contest winner
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 -2Posted on Dec 3rd, 2012 | re: Where Was Padma On 9/11? (31 comments)

Padma fact #12: That’s not chocolate.

 +6Posted on Oct 24th, 2012 | re: Donald Trump's October Surprise Is Here (55 comments)

Planned Parenthood, obviously.

 +12Posted on Jan 10th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Andy Serkis "Acting" (64 comments)

p.s. this one is for the KELLY SUPERFANS who click through on ALL of the afternoon links

 +28Posted on Jan 10th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Andy Serkis "Acting" (64 comments)

“I want to report a rape.”
–Chris Kattan

 +9Posted on Nov 23rd, 2011 | re: Best New Party Game 60: Thanksgiving Movies! (133 comments)

The Sisterhood of the Unbuttoned Pants

 +14Posted on Nov 23rd, 2011 | re: Best New Party Game 60: Thanksgiving Movies! (133 comments)

The Expandables

 +51Posted on Nov 22nd, 2011 | re: Is FOX News Worse Than No News At All? (41 comments)

Speaking of biting hands and Werther’s Originals:

 +18Posted on Oct 31st, 2011 | re: Wait, Who Is Our Generation's Cast Of Heat?! (48 comments)

Andy Serkis can play the dry pants. Still works.

“I’m just here for the free wifi.”

 +23Posted on Jul 11th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E03: The Witches Of Barfwick (27 comments)

Stupid words used this episode: vampup, fangrape.

Fan-grape:

Vam-pup:

 +10Posted on Jun 21st, 2011 | re: Let's All Attain The V.I.G Lifestyle Together (38 comments)

Your move, Richard Heene.

 +5Posted on Jun 8th, 2011 | re: EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEEK: The Tron: Legacy 2 Screenplay (27 comments)

Quick, get on the computer train that goes directly from the center of the computer to the portal!

Shouldn’t that be a bus? (get it? computers!)

 +19Posted on Apr 27th, 2011 | re: Lindsay Lohan On The Tonight Show OR: Pets Wearing Sunglasses (71 comments)

“We’re on a mission from Dog.”

Gross. I wouldn’t fuck Carrot Top with Kathy Griffin’s dick.

 +11Posted on Apr 8th, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: 3rd Anniversary Open Thread (136 comments)

and this is why Mr. Hausfrau is THE BEST! My very brief heyday on vgum came and went and now I am very old and the kids have taken over but you still remember! It’s like being invited back for old-timer’s day. 3 hearts right back at ya!

 +72Posted on Apr 8th, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: 3rd Anniversary Open Thread (136 comments)

“Lady Liberty kept flashing them big ass titties at me, so I fucked her.” –France

 +16Posted on Apr 8th, 2011 | re: This Is Just A Good Voicemail (39 comments)

Now you have to fuck her sister. That’s just how that works.

 +10Posted on Apr 6th, 2011 | re: These Are Your Boyfriends: The Men From The "Dear Woman" Video (88 comments)

Exhibit 100 gazillion in the ongoing case of Men Will Say and Do ANYTHING to Get Laid.

p.s. can someone let me know if this actually works?

 +19Posted on Apr 1st, 2011 | re: Julian Assange Dancing, Posted Without Commentary (51 comments)

gettin’ JigiLeaks with it.

 +22Posted on Mar 29th, 2011 | re: How Is Betty White Not In This Movie? (33 comments)

The first rule of Night Club is that you don’t talk about Night Club.
The second rule of Night Club is where am I? Who are you people? I need to go home.

 +22Posted on Mar 28th, 2011 | re: This Is Just A Good Political Ad That Is Neither Racist Nor Insane* (79 comments)

In 2030, all Americans will work for the Chinese? So, the complaint is that they are going to give us jobs? Go back to complaint school, CAGW.

 +15Posted on Mar 24th, 2011 | re: Grown Adults Start A Fort Club, Are Your Boyfriends And Girlfriends (167 comments)

The first rule of Fort Club is that you must use your imagination to empower and grow our community.
The second rule of Fort Club is no Droid phones.

Kids these days are obsessed with what day it is. When I was young, it was Tuesday every day and we liked it that way!

 +46Posted on Feb 23rd, 2011 | re: This Is Your Food Court Marriage Proposal (92 comments)

Aww…don’t worry, buddy. There’s plenty of fish in the pet shop up on level 3, next to the footlocker.

 +4Posted on Feb 4th, 2011 | re: The Dogfather Trailer, You Guys (44 comments)

Luca Brasi sleeps with the puppies, in the den.