My friends just watched Red State and said that it was the worst movie that they’d ever seen. “There were some cool moments, but the long, too-clever-Kevin-Smith-monologues were apparently so jarring for a horror movie that it ruined everything,”–my friends.

I didn’t listen to the Hermione commercial, but I did *watch* it and felt that “Total Eclipse of the Heart” should have been playing in the background. Was it? Because that would be awesomest.

Albus Severus

Don’t you know that it’s now fashionable to wear hideous rash-colored shirts with weird necklines? Fashion is cyclical, and we are obviously cycling through the Black Plague Era of Fashion.

Indeed. For a couple of seconds I thought the CD was skipping, but then I remembered that there is no such thing as CDs anymore and that we’re living in the FUTURE and I’m old and probably going to die.

I once saw young woman sitting hunched on a milk crate, bespectacled and with wild hair, spoon in one hand, expired veganaise in the other. And that was it.
She was eating veganaise.
Old veganaise. Only veganaise.
From the jar.
With a spoon.
It was haunting.

But you gotta wonder if what killed the body is still out there. What killed the body. I couldn’t get past that.

I know! I thought every time one of them jumped “Holy crap, you hipsters! You’re going to have to sit on a circle pillow for like six months.”

It’s obviously “He’s Pretty Colon the Steve Winwood story Comma When Animatronic Bears Attack Exclamation Point”

Do I keep pet rats? Yes, yes I do. And I was with her for a while, then she pulled out the dead guy. Yikes. And even though males are larger than females, that is an obese rat. Maybe if she had went with a non-fat blueberry yogurt, that rat would still be alive.

Chocolate chocolate chocolate! ACKK!

Gwenyth Coldplay’s song won’t load. I will take it as a sign from the Internet Gods that I ought not watch/listen to it.

I know your pain! I had the same problem! And I still do.