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cornballer
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Brad Pitt, as he is the only choice to play anything ever.

 +5Posted on Oct 17th, 2013 | re: The Videogum SpoOOooooOooOooky Movie Club: The Thing (53 comments)

The opposite of “my jam” = “my peanut-butter-stuck-to-the-roof-of-my-mouth-why-does-it-do-that-oh-god-I-think-I’m-gonna-suffocate”

and there were two sets of footprints in the sand because your 2 bodyguards were carrying you

 +9Posted on Sep 26th, 2013 | re: Dallas Is Covered In Spiders And Spider Webs (16 comments)

Thank god we got to the bottom of that.

 +3Posted on Sep 6th, 2013 | re: Today We Are All Trying To Catch A Furby On A String (17 comments)

Dogs are just the best. Full stop.

 +7Posted on Sep 5th, 2013 | re: OBVIOUSLY YOU SHOULDN'T PLAY AROUND WITH GIANT WATER BUGS (33 comments)

NOPE

 +4Posted on Aug 29th, 2013 | re: James Spader Is Your New Ultron In Avengers: Age Of Ultron (14 comments)

As history has told us, his role will be taken over by Michael Shanks in the eventual TV series.

 +9Posted on Dec 10th, 2012 | re: This Is Just A Good Cover Of Katy Perry's "Fireworks" By Yoko Ono (36 comments)

It’s good to know that we’re still living in the best possible universe.

 0Posted on Oct 17th, 2012 | re: The Second Presidential Debate Of 2012 Open Thread (115 comments)

That happened in this one too.

 +6Posted on Oct 17th, 2012 | re: The Second Presidential Debate Of 2012 Open Thread (115 comments)

I knew it! Who is Kai Winn in this scenario? Paul Ryan is Weyoun, so he can’t be Kai Winn. Obviously Barack Obama is Captain Sisko and Hillary is Major Kira.

 0Posted on Sep 22nd, 2012 | re: Friday Giveaway: The Perks Of Being A Wallflower Prize Package (41 comments)

though to be fair, my favorite book now is also the Lord of the Rings

 0Posted on Aug 2nd, 2012 | re: Re-Naming Raging Bull 2 (28 comments)

The Wild Kine of Araw

 +21Posted on Aug 1st, 2012 | re: Do You Have A Question For Tommy Wiseau? (38 comments)

Where do they get their ideas?

 0Posted on Oct 19th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (9 comments)

My friends just watched Red State and said that it was the worst movie that they’d ever seen. “There were some cool moments, but the long, too-clever-Kevin-Smith-monologues were apparently so jarring for a horror movie that it ruined everything,”–my friends.

 +3Posted on Oct 11th, 2011 | re: Hey Ladies, Are You Ready For Another Pride & Prejudice Movie?! (47 comments)

And in the end, Batman creates a time machine and rescue her! #Gotham

 0Posted on Sep 6th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (22 comments)

I didn’t listen to the Hermione commercial, but I did *watch* it and felt that “Total Eclipse of the Heart” should have been playing in the background. Was it? Because that would be awesomest.

 +4Posted on Aug 3rd, 2011 | re: Best New Party Game 57: Birthday Movies (155 comments)

Birthday Girl, Interrupted

 +3Posted on Jul 19th, 2011 | re: WHAT IS ARI GOLD'S WIFE'S NAME?! (56 comments)

Albus Severus

facetaco! You’re just killing it! Killing it! Like paparazzi chasing after a princess!

 +3Posted on Jun 14th, 2011 | re: Tobey Maguire For Prada, Obviously (42 comments)

Don’t you know that it’s now fashionable to wear hideous rash-colored shirts with weird necklines? Fashion is cyclical, and we are obviously cycling through the Black Plague Era of Fashion.

 +3Posted on May 3rd, 2011 | re: Late Night TV Osama Bin Laden Is Dead Bits Round-Up (22 comments)

Is that my elementary school gym teacher? Because it really looks like my elementary school gym teacher.

 +19Posted on Apr 14th, 2011 | re: APPLE STORE DANCE TO CHECK IT OUT!! (97 comments)

Indeed. For a couple of seconds I thought the CD was skipping, but then I remembered that there is no such thing as CDs anymore and that we’re living in the FUTURE and I’m old and probably going to die.

 +79Posted on Apr 14th, 2011 | re: APPLE STORE DANCE TO CHECK IT OUT!! (97 comments)

The girl with the hat made me angry. Really? You’re going to be judging the baby hipster dancing in an Apple Store when you’re wearing THAT on your head?

 +10Posted on Apr 8th, 2011 | re: A Review Of Gwyneth Paltrow's Cookbook (70 comments)

I once saw young woman sitting hunched on a milk crate, bespectacled and with wild hair, spoon in one hand, expired veganaise in the other. And that was it.
She was eating veganaise.
Old veganaise. Only veganaise.
From the jar.
With a spoon.
It was haunting.

 +1Posted on Mar 31st, 2011 | re: SURPRISE! TODAY IS PONY DAY! (50 comments)

I’m listening to Laura Barrett’s “Robot Ponies” while watching this video. It is effective.