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Chestybongos
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 +1Posted on Nov 24th, 2009 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Peaches Geldof (42 comments)

Turns out I only thought I hated Peaches Geldof BEFORE I saw this. Innocent times. At least now I know how to make Fern Cotton (the other blonde talent graveyard above) seem more likable.

 +4Posted on Sep 21st, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Forgotten (101 comments)

I don’t know why I said ‘main alien’ when he’s the only one but you get it – alien/Ken Barlow. Boom!

 +1Posted on Sep 21st, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Forgotten (101 comments)

This movie is much worse for British viewers where you have to block out that the main alien is the son of Ken Barlow.

 +2Posted on Sep 1st, 2009 | re: One Begins To Get The Sense That Padma Lakshmi Will Do Anything (25 comments)

Didn’t we guess she’d say yes to anything when she married Salman Rushdie?

 0Posted on Aug 31st, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Glenn Beck Is An Idiot (94 comments)

Yes but in his case just as an excuse to get shirtless and sweaty with other men. We’re still assuming that anyone that right wing is a repressed homosexual, right?

 +10Posted on Aug 31st, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Glenn Beck Is An Idiot (94 comments)

I’m impressed that there’s a two minute clip of Glenn Beck where he doesn’t fake-cry.

 +3Posted on Aug 28th, 2009 | re: The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Kim Zolciak Is A One Woman Face/Off (14 comments)

Fair enough. Although inflicting Gwyneth Paltrow on the world, let alone on us, will take some forgiving.

 +5Posted on Aug 28th, 2009 | re: The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Kim Zolciak Is A One Woman Face/Off (14 comments)

But that was vengence for you sending Madonna over here. And she tried to pull an English accent too so that’s provocation.

 +5Posted on Aug 28th, 2009 | re: The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Kim Zolciak Is A One Woman Face/Off (14 comments)

I just saw an ad yesterday that the Real Housewives of New Jersey is coming to British TV. Thank you America and how many series of this shit-fest can we look forward to?

 +2Posted on Aug 28th, 2009 | re: The Men Who Stare At Goats Should Have Been A Documentary (45 comments)

It was a documentary. Well an episode of Jon Ronson’s Crazy Rulers of the World series. So yeah.

Viddy: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1128598/

 +13Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 | re: BREAKING NEWS: Gwyneth Paltrow Likes Spain! (42 comments)

I bet over there she introduces them as Manzana and, er, Moses.

 +16Posted on Jun 24th, 2009 | re: Is This What All 50 Cent Videos Are Like? (35 comments)

He did it. He really did it. He managed to get worse.

 +5Posted on Jun 24th, 2009 | re: Tommy Wiseau Tells All To The Onion's A/V Club (18 comments)

The sex was real? Including that hot session with Lisa’s red dress?

 +18Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 | re: Kelly Clarkson Is The Hero Of The World (29 comments)

Especially in dealings with Perez Hilton.

 +50Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 | re: Kelly Clarkson Is The Hero Of The World (29 comments)

I’d find her a whiole lot more likeable if she’d change her stance on the whole “hitting people is not the answer” thing, because sometimes it is the answer Kelly Clarkson. Sometimes it is the answer.

 +3Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Year One (94 comments)

“I must be old-fashioned or something.”

I don’t think ‘something’ quite covers what you are Miss Jackson.

“I asked myself, “Vicki, is this movie making you feel good?” Myself replied, “This movie is making me angry, very sad, hopeless, and dirty-feeling.”"

Why do I suspect she conducted that exchange with herseld out loud?

 +2Posted on Jun 10th, 2009 | re: Hugh Grant Randomly Kicking A Dude In The Crotch Is Always Funny (30 comments)

I feel for that lady, she looks so nice. And shit scared.

 0Posted on Jun 10th, 2009 | re: "Do You Need To Go Pee-Pee?" (15 comments)

I always used to wonder come come I’d never seen any of these British ad’s that get posted online. Now I know. Because they’re really Canadian. Also I was watching an old Simpsons episode the other day And Groundskeeper Willie said “Shite”. Do you people not know that that’s not a charming and inoffensive Scottish word?

 +4Posted on Jun 10th, 2009 | re: That's Not A Knife, This Is A Knife. Wait, No, They're All Knives! (40 comments)

You had me at “popular with prostitutes”. The kid’s still say “you had me at…” don’t they?

 +6Posted on Jun 10th, 2009 | re: Obsessed: Shit Just Got Real. (No, Literally.) (45 comments)

Reading these recaps has enabled me to confront my own deepest fears… that gravity is going to break one day and we’re all just going to go spinning off into space and that there’s a shark in my kitchen at night.

 0Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 | re: Rush Limbaugh Is Just Fucking With Us Now (18 comments)

“At this point I think even Rush Limbaugh is mostly confused by everything that leaves his mouth, unless it’s cigar smoke or ham-flecked spittle.” …or cock. So much cock.

 0Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 | re: Rush Limbaugh Is Just Fucking With Us Now (18 comments)

Wait! Are you saying he’s been serious up till now?

 0Posted on Jun 5th, 2009 | re: The Final Destination Explores No One's Fears (31 comments)

2-D in selected cinemas? Aren’t all movies in 2-D?

 +10Posted on Jun 4th, 2009 | re: Who's Buying All This Paul Blart: Mall Cop? (31 comments)

I’ll tell you why this movie is so successful: Because Kevin James brings the sexy and drawing porn star ‘taches and disembodied, floating cocks on him only makes him hotter.

 +3Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 | re: I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here: Praying With Spencer Pratt (31 comments)

Janice Dickinson took part in the British version last year, although I suppose any advantage that buys her is handicapped by her personality making her oh-so-vote-outable.