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I just joined a charity curling tournament and I tried so, so hard to make our team name These Curlers Don’t Run. No one else seemed to be amused.
Eh, fine, living in Montpelier, eating lots of quinoa and sprouted grains and going to poetry slams and ukelele shows. I alternate almost constantly between “this is so quaint and great and i love it!” to “fuuuuuuuuuuck.”
There you are! Where have you been? I feel like you’ve been gone for some time, no? Let’s inappropriately use the comments section to catch up.
I mean…has it not occurred to anyone involved in this that they could….they could just change the key? Like, just lower that fucker an octave! Bring it down! And then when you modulate an unprecedented 73 times, you won’t have to channel a tone-deaf Mariah Carey.
How has this NOT led to your lasagna recipe?! Please tell us what you put in your lasagna! I need to know more about the sauces!
I ended up sitting back-to-back with J Timberlake in a restaurant in LA…being from the backwoods of Vermont and already WAY out of my element, I completely froze and was unable to move, speak, breathe, eat, make eye contact, or down a tequila shot. When I was finally able to take SOME kind of action, I stood up, said “Nope, can’t do it” and, to the horror of my very cool, very LA dining companions, left in the middle of dinner.
This was the same trip when my bra literally fell to pieces on my body and I went to Victoria’s Secret for an emergency replacement, only to discover that the one other person shopping there was, of course, January Jones.
My dachshund has eaten ALL of the couches and destroyed ALL of the carpets and has recently started dropping a ball onto the thin ice of the pond and then jumping in after it and almost drowning. Wanna trade?
All announcers will be forced to use alliteration and present while someone sucks on their earlobe.
This makes at least 3 Vermonsters here! It’s embarrassing that we call ourselves that, but I’m pretty sure that if we own it we can make it work.
I arrived at the gym this morning at 6 AM and literally ran into a grown woman wearing a complete ladybug costume which included headband antennae, a leotard and NO PANTS. Ugh, that woman.
As I’ve mentioned before, I tend to be too lazy to change the channel, and I catch most of Whitney, and what I simply cannot get over is what a HORRIBLE FUCKING AWFUL TERRIBLE person she is! She is like some kind of nightmare representation of the worst kind of female stereotype, and her (fake pretend tv) boyfriend is like “oh, you’re so crazy, that’s why i love you” and I am like “no she is a manipulative BITCH who ruins your jeans and puts HIDDEN CAMERAS IN YOUR HOUSE!!! Get out of there!!!” Unfortunately, I can’t seem to stop hate-watching this mess.
So I watched Whitney last night because I wasn’t quite done with my wine and we have rabbit ears and a digital box converter thing and only get 3 stations, so choices were limited (also, i’m lazy, and was sort of drunk) and I can honestly say that I have NEVER been so baffled by a show. Has anyone else watched even 2 minutes of it? I’m assuming no, because no one hates their eyes that much, but I would really love someone, just one person, with whom to discuss how completely fucking terrible it is.
Ian, I did this once. VG’s surprisingly alert robo-police blocked me, forever. I even emailed with Gabe (LADIES?!?!?!) and he couldn’t fix it. Nothing could fix it. Nothing. I had…I had to change my name. Change my password. Come back in disguise.
Point is, if “Ians” stars commenting regularly, I will understand. I will be the only one, I’m sure. Of course, I could just check any other post and see if you made it through, but I am not going to, because I am lazy and it would kill all of the drama.
Good luck, my friend. Good luck.
Has it really been almost 10 years since Halloween: Resurrection? Now this whole thing is just making me feel old.
To be honest, I’m surprised it doesn’t already exist – this thing was made to run down Church St, no?
I have SO MANY questions about the origins of the geese and their relationship with the “band” and is it organized or just something spontaneous that happens naturally when geese and bands run in to each other on the street, but mostly I just want to know where they are and how fast I can move there. Because, as it turns out, I am a huge, huge fan of the goose parade scene.
I got an entire carton of double yolks once. I was trying to cook breakfast for my lovely family, and as I cracked each additional egg and they CONTINUED to have double fucking yolks, I had some kind of ethical crisis, and started lecturing my mom about how I can even imagine what kind of fucking hormones they were giving those birds, and none of us should be eating them, and I refused to continue cooking said eggs, and in fact stopped eating commercial eggs entirely and now insist that my eggs come from organic, free range, happy chickens and cost about $12 per carton.
Not pictured: pants.
We have at least 2 Vermonters here. Pt, wasn’t there someone else before too? Anyway, I would like a New England meet up – I’ve though about going to one of the NYC ones, but honestly I am not cool enough to go to a bowling alley in Brooklyn. Not even close.
The theme of our prom was “Under the Sea.” It was held at an Elks Club. And then the theme of our 10-year reunion was ….Prom Redux. It was held at the same Elks Club.
Proving I’m the worst, I read that and was like “Ooooo, I would see that! Yes!”
Definitely, in that situation you don’t even need to use headphones.
“I love him like he’s my favorite nephew” is great.
I’m sorry, is this a thing that I could theoretically have and it would live with me and take naps in my hats, too? Can people own wombats?
It is non-ironically my favorite movie, and I am only a tiny bit ashamed.