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Look, if I was Adam Sandler’s dialogue coach, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of vocal warm-up exercises and then me saying, “OK, you’re going to speak like a normal adult, don’t worry.”
Oh no, here in Truck-Land, Stella Artois is trying to position itself as “the snooty beer you drink when you go to Adrien Brody’s exclusive beat poetry/jazz performance.”
Can the “My Life Is Twilight” website be licensed as a reality/re-enactment series?
Exactly. That guy knows what I’m talking about.
Seriously. Forts are not for playing. Forts are for armies and fur traders. Damn hippies.
The “cousins” crap drove me nuts. “We both have a really common Italian surname somewhere 10 generations back on a family tree that was created for a reality show and may or may not be accurate… we’re COUSINS”. The hell?
And Mike should have insta-lost before they even got to the extra credit bonus round. Soggy fried chicken and no biscuits. Tiffany went home for soup that was a little too sweet, and Mike goes to the finals for bad fried chicken? The producers of this show can be such assclowns.
Australia the country deserved so much better than this giant steaming turd of a movie. What could be better than watching a “rich spoiled girl/rugged tough guy” romance for THREE DAMN HOURS, with an annoying kid talking the whole time about no good fat cheeky bulls and Bryan Brown being eeeeeeeevil.
Will “Fresh Prince” Smith was right: Parents just don’t understand.
No Chet Haze? Pfft.
Here’s what you’re missing: Gwyneth. Leather. Stripper chair dance with high school students. Gwyneth gyrating in front of a kid in a wheelchair. Just a normal video of adults relating to teenagers in a totally appropriate way that would absolutely not end with them being arrested for sexual misconduct.
Vanilla Sky made me want to punch everyone.
Wow. It’s like Planet Hollywood threw up.
I don’t understand the Craigslist posting, and I won’t respond to it.
“A day may come when the courage of men can’t be processed, when we forsake our Adonis DNA and break all bonds of tiger blood… but it is not this day. An hour of fools and trolls and Vatican assassin warlocks, when the age of battle-tested bayonets comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day, we’re WINNING!!!”
Paula’s meat tenderizing technique was controversial at best.
I think only one thing could make me hate this movie any more: a “Remember Me”-esque 9/11 ending.
Also, we have to dance around a coffee table with our bestest girlfriends in order to cheer up the one who just got dumped.
These quotes ALL sound a little bit Dwight-ish:
“I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.” That’s Dwight.
“I dare anyone to debate me on things.” Totally Dwight.
“I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. It’s over. There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.” SO DWIGHT.
So, is Charlie Sheen’s “I’m crazy now” personality Dwight Schrute? Seriously? If so, I have a new favorite celebrity meltdown.
I’m on Ravelry, I’m even in the Top Chef group, and I had no idea there was a gambling ring. I’m so out of the loop.
Just what we needed, a gritty Annie reboot.
Obviously, you need to start a collection for the Dumbass Fountain Lady Honorary Fountain Perimeter Warning System. It’s too late for Dumbass Fountain Lady, but future generations can still be saved.
We shouldn’t needle them so much.
His Bravo bio proudly declares that he is the executive chef of his home kitchen. In a restaurant, somebody might point out that he is the worst, and he’s not going to listen to that kind of talk from people who don’t understand him.
Sad thing is, it’s actually better than Guy’s official site (http://www.guyfieri.com). The bottom section of links on the official site is like a stream-of-consciousness ramble. “Events. Armed Forces Entertainment. Media. Pasta.”
Not enough Davos.