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CdotP
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 +12Posted on Jul 5th, 2011 | re: Congratulations, As Always, To Joey Chestnut And Everyone (19 comments)

Shh, let him figure out on his own.

 +3Posted on Jun 17th, 2011 | re: Chris Brown (Featuring Justin Bieber) "Next 2 U" Open Thread (32 comments)

Can we agree to all never talk about the “oh na na” backing vocals at the end, sung in a way that only one song ever has (a Rihanna song)?

 +7Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review (468 comments)

BEST IDEA STOP SCROLLING LOOK AT THIS BEST IDEA

 +31Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: Design The Skyline Is YOUR Generation's Brokencyde (49 comments)

Perhaps we spoke too soon, Ke$ha. Please come back.

 +1Posted on Apr 29th, 2011 | re: The Tenth Spring Jam Of 2011: "Nu Thang" (30 comments)

I’d like to thank God for not having a public access station near where I grew up, because I had the luxury of toothbrush microphones and no cameras when I regularly did this exact thing to this exact song. DC Talk! They had a song called “2 Honks And A Negro”!

This isn’t surprising. The city’s had a real identity crisis since Aunt Oona moved away.

 +6Posted on Mar 30th, 2011 | re: Normal Shirts Vs. Normal Skins Stuff (73 comments)

Please tell me I hear the song “Scotty Doesn’t Know” from the movie “Eurotrip” playing in this fine piece of sportsmanship

 +13Posted on Mar 24th, 2011 | re: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation (180 comments)

That’s a pretty good point. More people should hold Martha Stewart’s feet to the fire about that time she beat the shit out of someone half her size. IT’S TIME TO SPEAK TRUTH TO BIG MARTHA!

 +8Posted on Mar 10th, 2011 | re: Best New Party Game 48: Shut Up, Dad (133 comments)

The only thing that really worried me was the Four Loko. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of getting Loko, and I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

 +6Posted on Jan 12th, 2011 | re: Flame Glove System Demo (46 comments)

Sadly, Matthew Lesko’s time as Flame Glove spokesperson was short lived…

RIP ML

 +6Posted on Jan 4th, 2011 | re: This Homeless Man Barely Even Sounds Homeless If You Can Believe It (72 comments)

After seeing what’s going on on that Reddit link, I do see that a lot of opportunities for good to come to this guy’s life will come from all of this. I don’t think his story shouldn’t be told by any means. I’m really glad that positive things are coming from this. The “pet benevolence project” comment I made was misguided. That was a result of a flood of cynicism that came from watching the first part of that video. It’s great that this is happening, and that the man had an opportunity to tell his story, but the tone of everything in that video before the story was there for a “news narrative”, and is the ugliest face of an exploitive industry.

 +11Posted on Jan 4th, 2011 | re: This Homeless Man Barely Even Sounds Homeless If You Can Believe It (72 comments)

Sure, this guy needs help, just like all homeless people need help (even the millions who don’t sound like how you think Don Cheadle probably would before you heard him), but fuck this video. Fuck the asshole who put this together. God, this made me so mad. The fucking “earn your dollar, dance for me” nature of it was gross.

Obviously, I mean no ill will toward the homeless man, and really hope that things work out for him (I suppose one person being the internet’s pet benevolence project is better than no person being the internet’s pet benevolence project), but good Christ, the guy who made this video and that voiceover is a despicable prick. #outragegum

 +2Posted on Dec 22nd, 2010 | re: All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front MAGIC FX CO2 Guns (31 comments)

Chill out, Gabe.

 +16Posted on Nov 15th, 2010 | re: Love In The Wild Is About To Be Our New Favorite Show (67 comments)

Survival shows are popular. Dating shows are popular. Neither of them could possibly be any more popular than they are at this very moment. That’s why NBC and Endemol have decided to strike while the iron’s very, very hot.

 +1Posted on Nov 3rd, 2010 | re: Stay Safe Online, You Guys (77 comments)

You think that one’s cool? RSA just keeps pumping out the hits!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFogu1qmmsw

That was terrifying. I’m not going to be able to sleep for almost more than nineteen days.

 +2Posted on Sep 21st, 2010 | re: That's Your Newspaper: The Lake Crystal Tribune (64 comments)

“But seriously, folks, the caddies at Crystal Pines Country Club are terrible. Let’s think about some change.”
-The next paragraph

 +8Posted on Sep 17th, 2010 | re: These Guys Are VERY Excited About The Brooklyn Tornado (99 comments)

 +5Posted on Sep 17th, 2010 | re: These Guys Are VERY Excited About The Brooklyn Tornado (99 comments)

No way, that’s a new building. Goons like that would never live in a place that’s been lived in already.

 +5Posted on Sep 17th, 2010 | re: These Guys Are VERY Excited About The Brooklyn Tornado (99 comments)

I’m so fucking glad we moved to Brooklyn, bro. This shit would never happen in Paramus.

Casey Affleck wants to come clean.

There was meat and cheese in his vegetable sandwich.

 +12Posted on Sep 17th, 2010 | re: Stephen Colbert And Jon Stewart Announce A Parody Event (32 comments)

We did it, you guys! We finally hate everything! Mission Accomplished!

 +32Posted on Sep 15th, 2010 | re: Today We Give Thanks For The Jobs That We Have! (78 comments)

DON’T HOOK IT ON THAT PEG THAT HOOK’S BIGGER THAN THAT PEG IT’LL SLIDE RIGHT OFF OH GOD
-Me, for the past 8 minutes

 +1Posted on Sep 13th, 2010 | re: The Unfortunate Return Of The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time (940 comments)

Oh! Two more:

The Sum of All Fears
Lakeview Terrace