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Carrie
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 +4Posted on Jul 11th, 2012 | re: "Daniel Tosh Encourages Audience Member Gang Rape" Follow-Up (150 comments)

Ah, shit. That was supposed to be in response to the bolts in soup. Guess that’s my cue to go back to never commenting anymore byeeee

 +6Posted on Jul 11th, 2012 | re: "Daniel Tosh Encourages Audience Member Gang Rape" Follow-Up (150 comments)

I. PUT THE SCREW. IN THE TUNA.

 +4Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review (468 comments)

Oh. Well then I am changing my criticism to “get better jokes.”

 -1Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review (468 comments)

Seriously. Are you both on Twitter? I leave this town forever in less than a month so let’s dooooooo thiiiiiiiiiiiis @KiriMack GET AT ME

(jwormyk, where you been at?)

 +4Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review (468 comments)

@Godsauce + others (what ARE these reply buttons?) Stop criticizing the writing style. That shit is petty and basically says “I dislike what this website fundamentally is at the moment” which is a problem with you, not the website. Gabe did not set up this “performance review” to hear all the little style-based things that you wish were more to your taste, he wants to know how the site and its off-site supplements can be more user-friendly and/or engaging. “Your punctuation style annoys me” is just…the worst, least constructive form of criticism. Bad job.

Yes, I am criticizing your criticism. “META.”

 +12Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review (468 comments)

TRUE LIFE: I MET MY BOYFRIEND THROUGH VIDEOGUM. Do you think we should e-vite Gabe to the i-wedding? (Also, hi, honey! Love yooooou!)

 +3Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review (468 comments)

Pittsburgh! Really? Both of y’all? Me too!

 +8Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review (468 comments)

Just realized I have no idea what this place is like anymore. There’s a new writer named Kelly?? Hiiii Kelly!

I’m trying to think of what my favorite types of posts were when I commented here a lot (back in 2009? fuck I’m old [no I'm not (LADIES)]) and it’s basically the kinds of posts that are still here…WMOAT when I’ve seen the movie in question and rando vids of toddlers soliloquizing about persistence. I think the variable here is my current lack of desk job, TBH. Videogum can keep on keepin on. Forever. But now I’m out of the loop and don’t feel like I can ever get back in. If only there was an encyclopedic list of everything that’s happened since I dropped out of the scene! Did That One lose a baby tooth? Did KP take his first step? Everyone’s growing up so fast and I hardly recognize this site! The only reason I know how to navigate it even is because it has the same layout as every other Buzzmedia blog that exists.

 +25Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review (468 comments)

More reviews of hotels I’ll never be able to afford and where to buy the most authentic cowboy boots in Nashville, please. (Are we still doing GOOP jokes? I have literally twos of them.) On the real though I sometimes deliberately avoid clicking on Vgum links from Twitter because of all the AAAAAAADS that make me have to force-quit Firefox. Sometimes I have OTHER TABS to think about, you know! It’s not like I can just REOPEN Gmail!

Also I’m SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE DANG GIFS DOWN WITH THE GIFS oh god just kidding is it too soon to joke about that?

Finally, I think part of the reason chat is dying is because at first it was exciting to get to know everyone and, yes, “awkwardly flirt,” but now we all know and it’s boring and we’re all talking to each other on Twitter anyway. As for the book club…reading is hard.

 +4Posted on May 13th, 2011 | re: Meet Today's Guest Blogger: caringiscool (44 comments)

KIRA.

 +32Posted on Apr 26th, 2011 | re: Brad Is An Actor And A Model (61 comments)

I heard him say, “My mom is DAD,” which frankly would have lent a little more gravity and dimension to his monologue.

 +3Posted on Apr 26th, 2011 | re: Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five" (18 comments)

CAN I TAKE OFF MY SHOES NOW?

 +10Posted on Mar 14th, 2011 | re: Meet Today's Guest Blogger: Mans (66 comments)

MANS.

(Sorry, that is the only word in my vocabulary at the moment. Uh except for these words also. These and “Mans” are it.)

 +12Posted on Mar 14th, 2011 | re: Meet Today's Guest Blogger: Mans (66 comments)

Yayayayyyy! Here’s my dog!

 +29Posted on Mar 7th, 2011 | re: Daniel Craig Wears A Dress For Womyn's Rights (56 comments)

The dress isn’t even as insincere to me as the fact that Daniel Craig gets paid all of the dollars to promote the idea that the ideal man’s man sleeps with every hot, exotic woman and then maybe kills her afterward. But I’m probably just bitter from owning so little property.

P.S. Super glad Firefox remembered my Videogum sign-in because I had totally forgotten after so long.

 +2Posted on Sep 21st, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: The Real Simpsons (130 comments)

Video “Melancholy and Vaguely Existential When You’re Not Really Expecting or Needing That Sort of Emotional Spiral” Gum.

[not a caption]

 +3Posted on Sep 21st, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: The Real Simpsons (130 comments)

I have no funny response to this comment because nothing funny can or will ever exist after this comment. Still laughing.

 +28Posted on Sep 20th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements (204 comments)

She is not wearing pants because she destroys every pair with her razor-sharp kneecaps.

 +23Posted on Sep 20th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements (204 comments)

If Marie Antoinette ever makes it into WMOAT I’m jumping this ship. I can’t even imagine what Gabe reviewing that would be like. “Marie Antoinette was a garbage monarch who deserves to go to Rococo jail.” What? The cinematography of that film is flawless. It does what it sets out to do and there is much to love, both aesthetically and in its content. I hate to be that asshole who is always like “PEOPLE WHO DON’T LIKE IT JUST DON’T GET IT!” but to be honest, most people I’ve met who didn’t like it didn’t really seem to have a reason other than it wasn’t exciting enough for them. Sometimes films just legitimately have an intended audience. If you are not the intended audience, don’t expect to fully appreciate it.

 +16Posted on Sep 20th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements (204 comments)

Hilary Swank looks like if Matt Damon were a horse.

 +9Posted on Aug 3rd, 2010 | re: The Internet: Still Terrible After All These Years (71 comments)

Looks like this video is a hit! Wocka wocka.

 +10Posted on Aug 3rd, 2010 | re: Best New Party Game 28: #RachelZoeMovieQuotes (279 comments)

Fuck me literally with a chainsaw.

 +15Posted on Aug 3rd, 2010 | re: Best New Party Game 28: #RachelZoeMovieQuotes (279 comments)

I’VE LITERALLY ABANDONED MY SON!

 +29Posted on Aug 3rd, 2010 | re: Best New Party Game 28: #RachelZoeMovieQuotes (279 comments)

I am literally too old for this shit.

 +11Posted on Jul 27th, 2010 | re: Battleship: The Movie Pre-Emptively Wins Three Acting Oscars (18 comments)

You’re missing about 7 a’s there in Skarsgard I think. Just alternate them with the letters you already have. Like Sakaaarasagaaarada. Look how much more authentic that looks!