Oh. Well then I am changing my criticism to “get better jokes.”

@Godsauce + others (what ARE these reply buttons?) Stop criticizing the writing style. That shit is petty and basically says “I dislike what this website fundamentally is at the moment” which is a problem with you, not the website. Gabe did not set up this “performance review” to hear all the little style-based things that you wish were more to your taste, he wants to know how the site and its off-site supplements can be more user-friendly and/or engaging. “Your punctuation style annoys me” is just…the worst, least constructive form of criticism. Bad job.

Yes, I am criticizing your criticism. “META.”

TRUE LIFE: I MET MY BOYFRIEND THROUGH VIDEOGUM. Do you think we should e-vite Gabe to the i-wedding? (Also, hi, honey! Love yooooou!)

Just realized I have no idea what this place is like anymore. There’s a new writer named Kelly?? Hiiii Kelly!

I’m trying to think of what my favorite types of posts were when I commented here a lot (back in 2009? fuck I’m old [no I'm not (LADIES)]) and it’s basically the kinds of posts that are still here…WMOAT when I’ve seen the movie in question and rando vids of toddlers soliloquizing about persistence. I think the variable here is my current lack of desk job, TBH. Videogum can keep on keepin on. Forever. But now I’m out of the loop and don’t feel like I can ever get back in. If only there was an encyclopedic list of everything that’s happened since I dropped out of the scene! Did That One lose a baby tooth? Did KP take his first step? Everyone’s growing up so fast and I hardly recognize this site! The only reason I know how to navigate it even is because it has the same layout as every other Buzzmedia blog that exists.

More reviews of hotels I’ll never be able to afford and where to buy the most authentic cowboy boots in Nashville, please. (Are we still doing GOOP jokes? I have literally twos of them.) On the real though I sometimes deliberately avoid clicking on Vgum links from Twitter because of all the AAAAAAADS that make me have to force-quit Firefox. Sometimes I have OTHER TABS to think about, you know! It’s not like I can just REOPEN Gmail!

Also I’m SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE DANG GIFS DOWN WITH THE GIFS oh god just kidding is it too soon to joke about that?

Finally, I think part of the reason chat is dying is because at first it was exciting to get to know everyone and, yes, “awkwardly flirt,” but now we all know and it’s boring and we’re all talking to each other on Twitter anyway. As for the book club…reading is hard.

KIRA.

I heard him say, “My mom is DAD,” which frankly would have lent a little more gravity and dimension to his monologue.